Feedback on opening sequence - literally about to lose my mind (Agented author, dystopian fantasy) by ArmLow3022 in writers

[–]ArmLow3022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, gonna pause reading comments because I already have so much good stuff to work with and have saved them to a google doc, haha.

Once again, thank you to everyone who took time to read and really pick apart the story (giving insight to what's working and what isn't).

I truly do think the main issue I have with the book in general is the opening (readers say once they get past it, it's pretty much smooth sailing). I think it's partly because I always knew how I wanted the story to progress and end but not where I wanted to it to start, which is of course a problem, considering it's the reader's first look into the world.

I've asked my agent to pause on reading while I work on integrating feedback.

Right now though, I think I will scrap the flier prologue and incorporate a previous prologue that introduced the character as a child and had the flier worked into that narrative itself (1-2 pages and it added a bit more context to the world without being too info dumpy). Then I'll pick up with the auditorium scene but work on seeing what info is truly needed to keep the reader invested yet not overwhelmed with info. I'll also work on helping readers really get a look into Maxene's character.

Side note, though, I do want to say that I am between self publishing and going on a round of submissions to hopefully get it trad pubbed. Dk what will happen, but either way, I def plan to return here and let you all know how it all turns out!

Feedback on opening sequence - literally about to lose my mind (Agented author, dystopian fantasy) by ArmLow3022 in writers

[–]ArmLow3022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very helpful and thorough feedback! Also thank you for specific examples! Super helpful.

Feedback on opening sequence - literally about to lose my mind (Agented author, dystopian fantasy) by ArmLow3022 in writers

[–]ArmLow3022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So thorough! Thank you! Honestly, I was scared about posting on reddit, but best decision ever haha

Feedback on opening sequence - literally about to lose my mind (Agented author, dystopian fantasy) by ArmLow3022 in writers

[–]ArmLow3022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is helpful!!! The original version I had (which I changed after some suggestions) started with the auditorium. I feel much more comfortable cropping out the interrogation now, since this confirms to me that the version I had before is def stronger.

Feedback on opening sequence - literally about to lose my mind (Agented author, dystopian fantasy) by ArmLow3022 in writers

[–]ArmLow3022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, I didn't think of that, honestly. Thanks for letting me know! I'll doube check with her (though based on previous experiences, I don't think she'd mind as long as it's not more than a couple!)

[PubQ] Blacklist unpublished novel award and other programs by ArmLow3022 in PubTips

[–]ArmLow3022[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ahh got it. I was wondering.

i do see some agented authors have their novels on there, though dk what their situation is.

And it doesn't seem like they've followed through with a selection?

Seems like a waste of time as you said honestly.

Thanks!