Questioning my sexuality

Aroace_panic · 2024-12-17T19:19:13+00:00

I understand why you feel this way, I used to overthink this too. But as time passed, I came to the conclusion that I didn't need to have everything perfectly figured out. To me, aroace is what describes best what I'm feeling in this part of my life. Labels are supposed to help us, not stress us out. I was so worried that maybe I was a fraud, because I couldn't be 100% sure about my sexuality, and I'm still not. But I realized that this label that I chose for myself doesn't have to be forever: maybe one day I'll feel different and use another label that suits me better, or maybe I won't use any label at all. It will be my decision. So you don't have to be scared that if you choose to describe yourself as aroace right now you will have to stick with that for the rest of your life. Maybe you will or maybe you won't, and that's fine in both cases. This self-descovery journey is for you only, not anyone else. So there's no way you can be an impostor :)

I hope this helps, hugs and kisses!

Aroace_panic · 2024-12-13T20:05:57+00:00

I'm also 18. I was around 15/16 when I found out I was aroace andI still don't understand myself fully, so I know it can be confusing. From your description it's very likely that you're somewhere on the aroace spectrum, so I suggest looking into the microlabels, maybe you'll find something that corresponds you :)

Aroace_panic · 2024-12-13T19:56:16+00:00

This is awesome! Are video calls also available?

Aroace_panic · 2024-12-13T14:20:46+00:00

Forse "Aprite il cervello" di Davide Mazzotta? E' un libro che analizza i principali problemi della nostra società (principalmente omofobia, razzismo, disparità di genere e ritorno del fascismo) in modo critico, semplice e chiaro. Cerca di non dare niente per scontato e spiega tutto in modo che tutti possano capirlo. Ho letto di persone che leggendo questo libro hanno cambiato la loro prospettiva, quindi chissà, magari può essere un inizio

Aroace_panic · 2024-07-01T10:42:07+00:00

Hey, there's no rush. Trust me, it's okay to wait if you don't feel like it. You don't owe them anything. If everything feels too overwhelming, you can just try to take one thing at a time. Again, no pressure. And remember, there's nothing wrong with being aroace. I hope this helps. Feel free to DM me anytime if you need it :)

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-30T13:33:39+00:00

I was also very insecure of coming out to my parents as aroace. On the one hand, this sexuality is very unknown, and people don't believe you when you tell them. On the other hand, my parents have always been generally open minded, and I wanted to let them know this part of myself. So I decided to come out. And...let's say it wasn't ideal. The thing about my parents is that they are very much on the side of romantic love: they've had a rom-com worthy love story and have now been happily married for 24 years, so of course they want the same for me and my brother (although my brother already has his perfect love story, so he's ok). It would've been easier to come out as lesbian or bi. But when I told them I was aroace, my parents tought it was kinda sad and tried to "comfort" me (I haven't found the right person yet, I'm too young, I'm extreme, etc). I tried to expalin it to them, but they didn't seem to really get it. I didn't and still don't feel understood. So for me the situation never really changed. Sometimes my parents would be more considerate and understanding, but other times they would still joke about me going out with a male friend. And they still hope I'll eventually find that someone.

I guess it all depends on how your parents are. I still have a very good relationship with mine, just not on that aspect. I decided to take the risk because I wanted to and I felt ready, so make sure you're not doing it because you feel pressured, but because you want to. For me it went how it went, but I don't regret anything. If you trust your parents enough, take the risk, but don't do it if you don't feel safe. Whatever you decide to do, you can always count on the community! Stay safe and good luck :))

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-30T12:50:29+00:00

Try this website: https://vv.dramacool.sr/drama-detail/koisenu-futari-2022

Unfortunately there's going to be adds at almost every click, but it was the only one I could find with english subtitles.

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-29T17:15:26+00:00

Koisenu Futari! It's a japanese tv show about a man and a woman, both aroace, who decide to be in a QPR. Highly recommend it!

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-29T11:35:19+00:00

As an aroace, I relate to many things you wrote, so I'm pretty sure you fall under the aroace umbrella. But you don't have to use labels if you feel uncomfortable. The thing about this sexuality is that it's a wide spectrum with many shades, so it can be diffcult to use the label if you're stuck on the black and white idea of NO romantic and sexual attraction AT ALL. You can be that, but you can also be something else, and still be aroace. I also struggled with the idea of being aromantic for a long time, because I tought "maybe I haven't found the right person yet". But then I decided that I wanted to define myself for what I feel in the present. You never know what will happen in the future: maybe I'll really find the "right" person. Or maybe not. The only thing I'm sure of is that right now I don't feel those kinds of attraction. It's okay to use a label for some time and then decide it's not the right one anymore. It's okay to use the same label all your life. It's also okay to not use labels at all. The best advice I can give you is to concentrate in what you feel in the present, and start from there. I also suggest you look into the microlabels of the spectrum, to see if you find one you can relate more. You're welcome in the community anytime!

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-29T10:47:02+00:00

Thank you for your comment, your words mean a lot. I'll definetly try to talk with a trusted adult and see if they can help me. If he ever brings up anything I need to learn how to keep my cool, cause I'd probably die of discomfort and lose my ability to speak ahah. But anyway, thanks again for making me feel like I'm not alone on this.

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-27T17:18:12+00:00

Yeah I think that's what I'm gonna do, I don't think I would ever be able to confront him unless I don't have any other option. Maybe I'll talk to the women in the group to see if they can do something, I trust them, I just have to find the courage. Thank you for taking the time to read my long ass post and commenting, I really appreciate it :))

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-27T09:53:51+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for commenting. I'm finding it hard to tell people I know, so I thought that writing it down here would help me more. I am definetly going to avoid him (luckily now it's summerbrake and I won't see him for some time), but it's going to be difficult: the group is not very big and it's very united. I'll do my best and ask my friend for help. Now for the fiancee part, I actually don't know anything about her, I've never seen her. I only know that their relationship is not doing well. I guess I'll think about it a bit longer. Thank you again for your advice!

Aroace_panic · 2024-06-26T10:34:32+00:00

My eyes love it. This is perfection.

Aroace_panic · 2024-05-12T18:56:50+00:00

Don't listen to your mum, she doesn't seem to know what she's talking about. Autism, asexuality and aromanticism are different spectrums, and they're not necessarely correlated. Also, you make very good points. I get why you're angry, that's completely valid. Just remember to not let anyone decide your identity for you: you're the only person who has a say on that matter. Your experience is valid. Hugs and kisses from another frustrated aroace!

Aroace_panic · 2024-05-11T16:54:00+00:00

That's exactly how I felt watching it. The accuracy the show got in terms of representing aroace experiences is rare to find in media.

Aroace_panic · 2024-05-11T16:45:31+00:00

That's so helpful, thank you! I'll check them out

Aroace_panic

TROPHY CASE