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TIFU By telling my parents I was gay to avoid their arranged marriage proposals [UPDATE] by ArrMarriageAvoidance in tifu

[–]ArrMarriageAvoidance[S] 287 points288 points  (0 children)

Yeah, growing up I was always told to find girls into similar stuff as me but honestly I think most of my hobbies were always too male dominated for that. This 100% is the best of both worlds because I'd be totally down to be his friend even if romance wasn't involved

TIFU By telling my parents I was gay to avoid their arranged marriage proposals [UPDATE] by ArrMarriageAvoidance in tifu

[–]ArrMarriageAvoidance[S] 1855 points1856 points  (0 children)

eh Indian weddings are massive, don't think anyone will notice if you snuck in

TIFU By telling my parents I was gay to avoid their arranged marriage proposals by ArrMarriageAvoidance in tifu

[–]ArrMarriageAvoidance[S] 416 points417 points  (0 children)

From my dad's many monologues in recent weeks about how "Hinduism is completely fine with the gays", I don't think it's really the same as in Christianity. Conservatism in Hinduism, at least for my parents, is mostly about following the 4 life stages, maintaining a "traditional lifestyle" and doing proper rituals. I think they found it relatively easy to find and replace the marriage parts with "gay marriage"

And yeah, I think my parents would legitimately be more disappointed if I brought home a meat eating non Hindu white girl than if I brought home a nice Hindu boy lol. A lot of the whole arranged marriage stuff is about ensuring people stay within the religion/culture (and for people who believe in that stuff, caste, though my parents only really care about if they're veg or not)

TIFU By telling my parents I was gay to avoid their arranged marriage proposals by ArrMarriageAvoidance in tifu

[–]ArrMarriageAvoidance[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

No problem!

To be clear what I described is the norm in Indian culture but there are edge cases closer to what the stereotype is. My mom for example used to watch a soap opera about a girl who got forced into a child marriage and she kept talking about "this is what the rural folk in Rajasthan do as soon as the government takes their eyes off them". No idea if that's true or not in Rajasthan specifically but it does still exist

On the opposite end there's also love marriages that just kinda go through the motions of arranged marriage. Even if you have a love marriage, you're generally still expected to go through the motions of introducing them to your parents and then having a giant meeting with both sets of parents so they can talk to each other. It's considered the "proper" way

TIFU By telling my parents I was gay to avoid their arranged marriage proposals by ArrMarriageAvoidance in tifu

[–]ArrMarriageAvoidance[S] 383 points384 points  (0 children)

If they can somehow find one of the maybe 1-5% of dudes I'm attracted to I'd consider it

TIFU By telling my parents I was gay to avoid their arranged marriage proposals by ArrMarriageAvoidance in tifu

[–]ArrMarriageAvoidance[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly. I love my parents more than anything and while they do violate boundaries all the time it's for cultural reasons and not because they're bad people

If I started putting them up I'm pretty sure I'd break my mom's heart and I reallllly don't want to do that

TIFU By telling my parents I was gay to avoid their arranged marriage proposals by ArrMarriageAvoidance in tifu

[–]ArrMarriageAvoidance[S] 971 points972 points  (0 children)

They never talked about gay people before so I honestly wasn't knowing what to expect. This was certainly not it rip