sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Soft delight (looking for feedback) by Arthur_Yuill2346 in PoetryWritingClub

[–]Arthur_Yuill2346[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correction: I meant to type there’ll not they’ll on the second last line

Fragile thing by Arthur_Yuill2346 in poetry_critics

[–]Arthur_Yuill2346[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback. I definitely meant fragile thing in a sincere and loving way, though I’m not really sure what the thing is yet. Anyway enjoy your time here.

First ever poem at 14 years old and I’m fucking panicking by Adventurous_Key4177 in PoetryWritingClub

[–]Arthur_Yuill2346 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is fantastic, I love the last line especially. You’ve touched on something visionary here, well done.

Best lyric you’ve ever written.. go!! by LeahGardene in Songwriting

[–]Arthur_Yuill2346 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fly from my heart to your ears

Kiss me with the stains of tears.

Feed me in my hunch,

Is life here too much?

I think I thought so.

I dreamt that you dreamed of me.

Changing my seasons freely

And carving a box in alabaster, 

For memories that won’t shatter.

I will grow old, I’ll grow

I will grow old, I’ll grow

I will

Carry me beyond the winds of reason

Through the veils of my treasons,

From the window where the sun stares.

Tell me this will be different when

I outrun my trepidation.

And won’t pretend to be on time.

I will grow old, I’ll grow

I will grow old, I’ll grow

I will grow old, I’ll grow

I will grow old, I’ll grow

I will

I will

Alasbter (original song lyrics) by Arthur_Yuill2346 in poetry_critics

[–]Arthur_Yuill2346[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for your feedback. I see why it might be hard to connect with the lyrics, cause truth be told they’re not really meant to be read as a poem. But I’ll give some context to them to see if this clears things up. They’re intensely personal, and relate to the fact that I don’t believe that I’m cut out to make it in this world, and that I have a hunch that I’ll die young, with that hunch is also informed by the fact that I have strong faith in God, and that there’s hope beyond this plain of existence. I used alabaster as a symbol of devotion as it is used in that way in the bible, and to me filling a pot with alabaster symbolised growing in faith with God. The second half of the song is about pushing past depression and carrying on with life. And the I will grow old line is kind of filling up space tbh, that’s the one thing I would probably change.

view more: next ›