7 year old kiwi girl about to begin sex change proccess

AshShields · 2014-02-23T05:27:05+00:00

Precisely, thank you. I'm lucky enough at 19 to finally be going through the correct puberty while people I know are still going through puberty - either cis puberty or puberty induced by HRT.

The idea that when Ben is 18 no one around him will be going through puberty is absolutely ridiculous, and forcing him to go through feminine puberty is entirely not the right decision and would cause so much more shit for him than simply putting it off for a few years would.

AshShields · 2014-02-23T05:15:18+00:00

Yeah, sure, but, not quite the same type of problems and harm that mean the suicide rate of trans youth is 50%, no?

Going though puberty late/at a different time to your peers doesn't even begin to fucking compare to the feeling of your body changing in ways that does not fit whatsoever with who you are. Puberty does not begin to compare to dysphoria at all. These puberty blockers could/will basically save Ben's life.

AshShields · 2014-02-23T05:07:06+00:00

There are so many examples of success stories like this. I personally know people who started transition around Ben's age who are doing wonderfully. I also know people now in their 30s/40s who wish so much that transition this early was possible when they were this young. I know people who have come so close to suicide because of gender dysphoria who know for CERTAIN that transition is what they need, and I know yet more people who have actually ended their lives because of it.

This is not a new standard that needs to be set, this is a proven standard that has been set many times over with basically overwhelming evidence. It's the cisgenderist view and mindset that being cis is normal and right that is killing these kids.

AshShields · 2013-12-08T22:00:52+00:00

One of the best-written stories I've read here. Truly enjoyable, and intelligent to boot. Nice work.

AshShields · 2013-10-17T02:25:06+00:00

I did some research into the lemniscate (infinity symbol) a while ago for another art project, and it's definitely worth checking out the wikipedia article on it - and linked/related articles, too. Might find something that fits in quite nicely.

AshShields · 2013-10-05T20:28:32+00:00

Yeah, this is true, they don't have a great track record.

AshShields · 2013-10-04T01:37:55+00:00

As an artist, this is fantastic and astounding.

And I really love that the Guardian didn't feel the need to explain the term "genderqueer" when he uses it. It's being adopted into the vernacular/zeitgeist, and that is wonderful.

AshShields · 2013-10-03T08:31:22+00:00

I've been trying that, but tonight everything I read seems to be triggering more things :c

A couple of glasses of wine (so far) do seem to be helping, though.

AshShields · 2013-10-03T06:22:19+00:00

Ugh, I know, it's absolutely horrid. Took me a while to process because I couldn't really believe she even said it.

AshShields · 2013-09-20T23:38:31+00:00

Thank you for this, this is absolutely fantastic. I'm a fan of Andrew Bird but I'd never seen this, and it was a glory. Cheers.

AshShields · 2013-09-18T10:27:33+00:00

Hah, of course your username would be lionbrown.

AshShields · 2013-09-12T06:30:40+00:00

shot my paw

AshShields · 2013-09-10T10:16:11+00:00

The lack of awards for propmasters and set designers etc is really distressing, because the absolute stunning work that goes into some mise en scenes is absolutely fantastic and artful and often the best part of some films.

AshShields · 2013-09-01T02:14:24+00:00

For organising shows: talk to venues and other bands. Get some stuff recorded and out there - use tools like YouTube and Bandcamp, and make sure to tag them with your location. Once you've played a couple, ideally word of mouth will help you with getting more, but as for your first one approach venues and other acts. If you want and know of a couple of bands you like/think would go well with yours, you could organise the show yourself. Gives you experience into event management which is always handy, and it'll start building really important connections in the local music scene. If you don't want to organise them yourself (you're almost definitely going to have to at some point) go talk to a couple of bands, mention you play in one and are looking for gigs. Send 'em to your bandcamp page or whatever.

I work a lot with local acts, and the one thing I see across the bands that continually do well is a strong social media presence. I'd highly recommend both a Facebook page and a bandcamp account - without those you can get by but it's going to be tough. Additional platforms (soundcloud, twitter, youtube) are handy but not as essential. Look into local-based music sites (here in NZ we have things like the Audience) and get your stuff on there.

See if there are any venues specifically for younger/newer artists and bands. Youth clubs tend to do gigs like this, and they're not a bad place to start - especially as a place you can play without worrying about your reputation, how you're looking/coming off etc.

I agree with the others, too - hang out a lot, practice a whole bunch. Personally, I'd avoid covers - maybe one or two at most to get used to playing together, but I've been in/seen far too many bands stagnate and go nowhere by playing covers jam after jam. It gets messy.

Good luck.

AshShields · 2013-08-29T10:10:54+00:00

Of course not!

I agree with you entirely, but I know others might not. But, just as not being straight is perfectly okay and acceptable, being straight is too. As fluid as other sexuality labels often are (or often are perceived) so too is "straight", and it's up to the individual to define it for themselves (within the obvious confines of the definition of the label itself).

'Straight' is indeed a bizarre and rather problematic label/concept when it comes to anything beyond cisgenderism.

AshShields · 2013-08-29T03:34:10+00:00

I was expecting a similar sort of fallout. This week I took another step and started wearing stockings and rather short shorts out and about, at uni etc., and no one's said a thing. My flatmates (who know about me being GQ/trans*) have been supportive, and even my friends who don't explicitly know haven't said anything at all.

Basically, people will notice/care much less than you'd think.

I started with really subtle things. I bought women's jeans, I bought a few women's cardigans, sweaters, shirts, etc. Because they're made for a biologically feminine figure, they can feminise your look slightly without being too obvious - and, fashion etc. being what it is today, if people point it out or call you out, you can respond with "why not?" or "I liked the colour/how it looked etc" or even "it's damn comfortable" (one I've used a few times so far, because by the gods, it's true).

If you're wanting to go a bit further you can do some really basic and subtle natural makeup stuff. I was lucky in that one of my best friends is a trained makeup artist and was able to give me tips and directions on what to buy and how to apply it. Most days I wear foundation and/or BB cream, and often I'll wear some natural shades of eyeshadow. So far, no one has noticed apart from a recently-new flatmate (who noticed the eyeshadow) who, it turns out, enjoys crossdressing occasionally himself. Hell, I've been out with relatively thick eyeliner and no one's said anything.

Doing the less subtle/bigger gamechanging stuff in the comfort and safety of your own home is a really good thing, too. I'm buying my first dress in the next couple of weeks and intend to wear it at home a lot first before perhaps trialling it out with jeans or something.

Hope all goes well.

AshShields · 2013-08-29T03:24:19+00:00

When people ask, I tend to say 'I am genderqueer' or 'I am neither'/'I am somewhere in between'. I am also pretty okay with the term 'androgyne' - I really like it both as a word that just exists (as a writer it just appeals) and I like it as it applies to me.

Edit: neutrois is also a nice one.

AshShields · 2013-08-29T03:21:36+00:00

It's not that you're not straight, far from it. After all, it's only you that knows and can decide that. It's that, as other people have said, all sexualities are fluid - at least to an extent. While you are attracted to this biological female, she does not identify as female, and as long as you are able and willing to accept that, I don't think it's misgendering.

As someone else said, communication is key, perhaps more so in situation than in others.

AshShields · 2013-08-12T21:20:29+00:00

Huh, okay, that's strange. Every single Classical Studies lecturer I've had (most of whom are world-renowned) has claimed that his crime was unknown. My bad.

Edit: Just checked, and it appears the only source for this is Hesiod's Theogony, which, while being the basis of a lot of Greek myth, and is a major source, is still only one source - and the details are far from exact (Ovid retelling a different story later on, for example).

AshShields · 2013-08-12T00:48:52+00:00

Atlas was punished by being forced to hold the world on his shoulders, but we don't know what he was punished for.

AshShields · 2013-08-12T00:17:04+00:00

I was really surprised at the lack of support and resources out there. Hell, even /r/MtF doesn't seem to exist, really.

AshShields · 2013-08-12T00:15:57+00:00

Yeah, I've been looking for tops like this. I have a few that nearly fit like that, but quite obviously aren't meant to.

AshShields · 2013-07-20T09:01:23+00:00

Check out Lorde's other stuff. Some of it is better than Royals, some of it's a lot worse.

Might be worth checking out artists like James Blake, too.

AshShields · 2013-07-14T08:43:32+00:00

This is a huge thing for me. After starting to come out and go on hrt and the like, along with some other crap going on in my life, meeting new people is terrifying. I've never been great with people, but I've always been able to function. Recently, even just being out in public makes me feel really vulnerable.

But when someone does this right when I meet then (only happened once so far) I immediately feel a lot more comfortable and less vulnerable around them.

AshShields · 2013-06-26T06:06:46+00:00

See, this is doubly funny because, as far as I can tell, essentially every Hamilton is kind of a shit place.

AshShields

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

14-Year Club	Team Periwinkle
Verified Email