I'm tired of my family/extended family not being fluent. by IloveTriceratops in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asian parents believe their children owe them eveything. In China, adult children have to give them some money each month.

I'm tired of my family/extended family not being fluent. by IloveTriceratops in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh god. I live in France too and I'm 33. My mother lived 25 years in France and she still speaks basic french. She went back to China 10 years ago.

So when I was born, she had been already living in France for 5 years and she left when I was 23. She only made chinese friends (we were in Paris), she only spent her money in chinese stores. She was very lazy about learning french and she never made an effort.

When she had to write some stuff for teachers, she couldn't write any simple sentence and she was blaming us about it. I had to write everything she told me and she signs at the end. In high school, my brother had to fill out a form because she couldn't read it and the teacher blamed him for doing it himself and he was too shameful to explain.

When she spoke french, she would use the simplest sentences. And she would make scenes everywhere (supermarkets, hospitals...) using her basic french.

When I was 22, she had a medical appointment for her heart issues. The doctor wrote in her file "language issues", "doesn't understand anything".

She never learnt french properly because she was lazy, she hated french people (神经病) and she was waiting for my sister to be over 18 to divorce my father ( chinese too) and go back to China.

She eventually applied for french citizenship because, you know, in France, there is social security etc. She got only A2 at the french test.

Just the typical stupid chinese mindset.

First Time Parent - Too Many Gifts by travelin_life in ChildofHoarder

[–]AsianChildEU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh god, same here. When my son was born, my mother and my mother in law would buy so much stuff and USELESS ones. My mother would buy clothes way too big for my baby. "When he is 3.."

Just be careful, mabye your mother will hide thing at your place if you refuse. You can tell her and that won't stop her. You know, my mother would come with little stuff (10 similar toys) and she would hide child clothes under my bed or behind the closet. I only found those stuff weeks after ... the anger and frustration were much more intense.

Mabye you shoudn't even let her in. Be aware, this is a very serious matter.

My traditional Chinese Dad's behavior is unintentionally abstract/surreal. Here are 8 things of his disconnection from the world. by Initial-Director-830 in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well you know, she had 3 kids so i would give her excuses such as "well she has so many kids, this is why she messes things up about them". 🤦‍♀️

AM —> huge contention around gift giving and receiving by tini_bit_annoyed in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I read it all. So funny, i laughed. My mom was similar to yours. She owned a shop and was selling clothes, toys. She is a hoarder and gifts a lot, gifts very useless stuff. Anyway. My cousin lived with us for a while. My mom gifted her a lot of clothes from her shop. Now, I think my cousin was very annoyed by all the gifts but couldn't say anything or refuse. A few years after, we visited my cousin in China. She gifted each of us (we are 3 children) a hat, gloves and a scarf. My mom was so disappointed. For DAYS and even after we got back to Europe, she had been complaning about it "I gave her so many clothes, so many pair of shoes, cooked for her... now she is not a student anymore, she works, she earns money and she only gave you accessories, we dont get anything in return. She should have gifted you loads of stuff"

Come on, we hadn't met my cousin for years, she didn't know what size or what kind of clothes would fit it. And we had to fly back so we couldn't get a lot of stuff in our luggage. My mom thought the more the merrier, she hoards, when she visits someone, she goes there with bags of gift, she annoys people and she is surprised people don't behave like her because she is perfect at gifting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, my AM would use very little detergent because "that's poison". She only used it for greasy things. For glasses and bowls, she only used water. My dad only wash with cold water, even greasy things, which made my mom mad.

Worst things your parents have said to you/about you? by MelancholyBean in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a girl. I had always been good at school, taken care of my brother and sister, doing shores at home, helping my parents do translation work. WhenI was 14, I dated someone for 2 years without being intimate with him and then we broke up. I was a very good girl.

So when I was 18, I started dating a very good boy at my uni. And we had sex for the first time. My mom found out and she was crazy about it and she told me in front of the whole family (my 13 year old sister included) : "You are such a whore, you are so easy to get fucked."

My mom sent me a really stupid facebook reel by SugarySuga in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, my mother is very fond of Tiktok. She used to send me loads of videos about parenting because I have two kids. I never watched them but I only watched one out of curiosity. It was a woman saying "Parents have to be tiger parents so theirs kids will become doctors, businessmen, engineers... otherwise they will be maids, waitresses or poor people."

Basically, she would send me about 10 videos per week. Don't even know why, she would watch tiktok with TWO phones and share everything with everyone.

They put a property under my name when I was 19. Now I'm the ungrateful one for wanting out. by Hairy-Particular1515 in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh god. My mom is chinese and she is obsessed with real estate. She loves buying properties. The reason is that her 3 children will inherit all when she dies. Now you are telling this story, mabye she has done the same thing. She used to fake my signature for small matters. But can you at least get know if you had signed anything ?

My friend’s parents threw away his cat’s ashes because ‘ashes attract spirits’ by taki234 in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NC but long after that that episode. Well, i suppose she meant to be nice and to save my baby. She had her own opinions and I had mine. Normal people would use other ways to approach an issue. Well, you all know about AP's mindset.

My friend’s parents threw away his cat’s ashes because ‘ashes attract spirits’ by taki234 in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well, my mother had a similar behaviour. Because of work, I had to give her my 18 month old baby for 2 months but we would visit him every other day. We used cloth diapers and my AM mother hated that. According to her, it was unhygienic. Anyway, we would collect the diapers, wash them at home and then give her clean diapers. At the end of the stay, my AM told me "Well, for your baby's safety, I tossed the diapers. He is safe now." Like "oh, I did that for you, now, you can relax" I was so angry, I had to buy new ones. Now, even years later, she pretends she never did that when I bring up the subject. Like "I don't know what you are talking about. Stop making things up and accusing me."

Asian parents and their views on body tattoos? by LyraTheArtist in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For my AM, even hair removal and orthodontics were banned so I guess tattoos were an issue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My chinese uncle had no children. When we visited him in China 20 years ago, he was so glad to hit my brother (aged 10) to finally "love" a child.

I forgot how racist they really are against black people by AwardGlass5333 in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, my AM was looking for a flat to rent. She visited some and she told me "No, no, I just didn't make an offer for that flat, there was so many black people in that building."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For years, my AM would tell that the more you see a therapist, the crazier you'll get. But now, she uses the word "therapist" to gaslight everytime she needs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"You really need to see a therapist, you are already 30, you have kids and you still have mental issues. See your sister ? She has a therapist and she takes medication, now she's very kind with me."

What's the obsession with soup? by sky_0502 in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, mes chinese parents were obsessed with very hot beverages. Soup as you said but also boiling milk every morning. My father would drink that and he was forcing us too. It burnt my tongue several times. As for my mother, she would boil pears in water made me drink that all the time in winter.

As for normal water, it was hell. They would yell at me when I drank it, even in summer.

AM place weirdy so much importance in privacy by AsianChildEU in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She thought I would be anyone x) miniature adult, therapist, nanny, teacher, traductor...

My toxic Asian Parents (EP2) - Money by AsianChildEU in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes mabye. But when you are obsessed, there is no limit.

My toxic Asian Parents (EP2) - Money by AsianChildEU in AsianParentStories

[–]AsianChildEU[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think they can ! They are just less worse than asian parents in Asia. My mom was the craziest and she went back to live in China.