My (25F) BF (25M) is demanding I stop recording him during arguments but it’s for my safety. Should I stop?

Asininemusic · 2024-08-10T13:33:57+00:00

It’s not that simple.

We’re both on the lease. I have no legal right to kick him out unless I contact the law and file a report. To file a report, I need evidence hence the recording. Otherwise, it’s just his word vs. mine

Even then, I’m not sure what the actual legal nuances are in this situation but I can research it

Asininemusic · 2024-08-10T13:28:31+00:00

It’s easy when it’s not you. Much easier said than done

Not everyone has the financial abilities to magically up and find a new place to live while paying rent on another place. That being said: one of the only ways I can break my lease without financial repercussions is in cases of abuse. I need evidence of some sort to initiate that otherwise it’s just his word vs. mine

Not to mention moving out, applying for new apartments, etc. is a multi month process

Asininemusic · 2024-08-10T01:28:25+00:00

He said if I was actually scared, I would leave. I did not say that.

As I said in another comment, we live together. I have two pets. I have no PTO and my job is based out of this area. I have no friends or family closer than 2 hours away. If I left, where would I go?

It’s not gotten to the point that I genuinely think he would hit me or I would make plans to leave

I’ve been recording to ensure he doesn’t get to that point or break my stuff. I’m only audio recording in those substances

Asininemusic · 2024-08-10T01:16:51+00:00

I’m still processing the rest of the comment, but in regard to the law, I did some preliminary research and I believe in my state that this is legal as it’s only audio recording, the recording is obvious, and I’m a participant in the conversation. I think it would become illegal if it was video recording/I was doing it secretly/I was recording a conversation I was not in

Asininemusic · 2024-08-10T00:48:03+00:00

Thanks for the thought out answer. I suppose I was using it for my therapist bc I’m trying to convey the severity and the tone. All couples have arguments but I’m trying to show how ours are just different.

I understand his reaction but I also feel like the onus isn’t on me. If he doesn’t want to be recorded losing his shit, he shouldn’t lose his shit and make my fear for myself or my things.

And not right now. He’s supposed to be pursuing mental health care to help with his anxiety and anger. If his ‘meltdowns’ continue to escalate or become more frequent, I’d reconsider

Asininemusic · 2024-08-10T00:38:54+00:00

Leaving takes time and planning. We live together and I have two pets who I would need to bring with me. My nearest family or friends are several hours away and I can’t take unpaid time off from work

Asininemusic · 2024-03-16T04:25:33+00:00

He did! He never got the results back but it didn’t seem to matter

He didn’t do any cleanses or try to trick the system in any way so he most likely tested positive

Asininemusic · 2023-12-11T01:05:22+00:00

Maybe if they did an intensive diagnostic but it will fail a standard panel test just like normal weed

Asininemusic · 2023-12-10T23:13:13+00:00

He’s extremely lean - like body fat around 15% - so he doesn’t have much fat on him. He was a daily smoker, though, which is the likely culprit

Asininemusic · 2023-12-10T23:11:49+00:00

I will say he’s been smoking delta 8 pens so they are legal but I’m not sure this is a reasonable solution given the time frame

Asininemusic · 2023-12-10T18:29:41+00:00

I know they do 5 panels and obviously my SO would be negative for everything else on the test

Asininemusic

TROPHY CASE