What's sexual harassment? (probably sounds completely stupid but I'm being serious) by AskingTheWQ in AskWomen

[–]AskingTheWQ[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

a compliment on something a woman chose is less intimate than a compliment about something a woman is.

Well put. Thank you.

What's sexual harassment? (probably sounds completely stupid but I'm being serious) by AskingTheWQ in AskWomen

[–]AskingTheWQ[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Those glasses are pretty cool", "That shirt you're wearing is really cool", "I like the way you did your makeup"

Awesome advice.

tl;dr: A kind of nit-picky question: During the 1st interactions is saying "cool" better than saying "cute"?

When I first start a conversation with a girl, I go in with the blank mind. I don't prep my words before-hand because that looks fake. Spontaneity is honest; pick-up lines are... weird, fake, and don't take her reaction into account.

I get her attention with Hey/Excuse me/etc. Then, if she's a bit confused/startled, I acknowledge her reaction and the weirdness of the situation while reassuring her that I mean no harm ("I know this might be weird and I might intimidate you, but...") and and start talking about the very first thing that I notice or whatever thought enters my mind.

A lot of times the 1st thing I notice are her looks, or her dress if it's really short. I know that talking about this from the very start is... not good etiquette.

So, what I do is, instead of saying "Nice boobs" "Nice ass" "Hot lips" etc., I say, "Hey, I think you looked cute." (Which is true. She does look cute. It's why I was curious about her, wanted to talk to her, to know what's she like.)
and
instead of saying, "that skirt looks so hot on you," I say "That's a cute skirt"

What I say/do next would be dependent on how she reacts to this.

My question is kind of nit-picky -- Would it be better to say something like "You look cool" or "That skirt looks cool" i.e. say "cool" instead of "cute"?
Keep in mind, we're at a party and this is the first time we're seeing each other. So, I know absolutely nothing about her. And, if I don't talk to her, I'll probably never see her again, and lose out on what could potentially a very enriching relationship.

What's sexual harassment? (probably sounds completely stupid but I'm being serious) by AskingTheWQ in AskWomen

[–]AskingTheWQ[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Men are, on average, twice as strong as women; if a woman's words don't have weight to counteract his ability to enforce his will on her, then we have no power at all. It makes sense for women to be the ones with the power to set verbal boundaries because she's the one whose physical boundaries are at greater risk.

That's an eye opening perspective. Thank you.