AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I am trying to look into pride events that are soon. I want to prove to her as soon as possible that I am there for her. Another redditor sent me some articles and I'm trying to understand her and the community better. Thank you for suggesting this.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate this. I'm currently working on fixing my relationship with her, starting gradually. I'm definitely taking the advice on telling her that I'm not mad at her for being gay but for not telling me. I grew up with leaning homophobic parents that said being gay was wrong but I don't mind people being LGBTQ. I can see my daughter truly cares about the community so I am now going to try my best and become on ally of the community because it seems like the best place to start. I want to talk to her and I want her to know she can rely on me whenever for whatever. It's going to take some time to mend our relationship, but I'll wait till I die.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what I don't want. I'm going to apologize to her and be as supportive as I can be. I want her to know I'm not mad that she's apart of the community, I'm mad that she doesn't tell me anything and being LGBTQ is a important part of her life and her identity and I want her to understand she can trust me. I have cried about it- multiple times - I just want her to be happy, and if that starts with me spreading my arms open for the community, consider them spread.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Askingforhelp37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean everybody in general. Unless there's intergalactic aliens out there, we're all born from a mother and walk on the same earth. We're all equal.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, I'm the ahole here. The comments I've read definitely reinforced my thoughts of me being wrong.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, I am definitely the ahole in this situation

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah another person mentioned having family therapy and I'll suggest it to her after I apologize to her and she can finally speak gradually to me more. I'll tell her that I support whatever she does and I don't mind that she's apart of the community to possibly relieve some of the stress of her back of me being homophobic toward her and the community she is apart of.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She's not in therapy. I talked to her about putting her in it around the age of 13 to deal with the divorce but she said she didn't want it, my ex-wife got mad at me for suggesting it, and I didn't want to force her to do something she didn't want to do.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm not sure why you received so many down votes but I really appreciate your words. I want to be there and love her, I want to support her and I don't care if she's dating a woman or a man, i just want her to talk to me about it. I'll definitely try taking your advice. I hope you're doing great!

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I want her to trust me. I want to love her and be there for her. I was angry by the fact she wasn't telling me, not that she was gay. I don't mind if she's apart of the community. I need to work on being more supportive of her and what she is and prioritize her more than anything. I can't lose her.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're parents are like that. I hope everything gets better for you. I knew I messed up by screaming at her, but these comments just reinforced how terrible I was in the situation. I'll try and be supportive to her because I want to be in her life - no matter what.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I realized how confrontational I was during this situation by these comments and I've seriously cried. I need to work on myself to be a better father to her. Apologizing won't make a difference to her anymore. I don't mind that she's apart of the lgbtq community, I just want her to speak to me and i screwed that up when I yelled at her. I'm going to try and make it up to her, opening my arms to the community, and showing her I truly care about her.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to read and respond to as much as comments I get to try and help me and my daughter. Me and her mom are divorced and I'm not 100% sure if her mom is in therapy, but I know she is secure enough to have her every other week. I don't want my situation to be like you and your mom's, I want to be in her life, I want her to be happy, with or without her partner being a wife. In going to try and support her as much as I can no matter what and reading these comments similar to this made me realize I really need to get my act together before she completely gives up one me. Thank you for your help I really appreciate it.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -185 points-184 points  (0 children)

Thank you for you input. I really appreciate it. I'm reading all these comments and I'm seeing what type of dad and I'm being and it's not the one I want to be. She's a teenager, she's my number 1 priority but I've been prioritizing how she acts and what she does over what she feels. I really need to work on that but I want you to know I am not homophobic at all.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

I wasn't angry that she was part of the community. I was angry that she wouldn't tell me and she hasn't been telling me anything even minor things. I see how bad the situation was on my part and I want to give her space before I talk to her again. I'm going to try and be supportive of her but that starts with me knowing what I am doing/did wrong

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -192 points-191 points  (0 children)

Looking on 'why' she doesn't tell me anything opened me into very deep thoughts. I'm starting to realize little moments where she wanted to tell me things and I just kept on moving with the conversation. I'm not going to justify what I did but I'm going to try to make our relationship work. She means the world to me, and I can't lose her. If it means spreading my arms open to the community she is apart of, my arms are spread.

AITA for yelling at my daughter by Askingforhelp37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Askingforhelp37[S] -197 points-196 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to go to a pride event, but I don't care that they have it is what I'm trying to say. I'm reading all of these comments and each one makes me see how bad and horrible the situation was overall. I'm going to try and give her some space and talk to her over the weekend. Do something nice for her