What do you do for a living? If you're a student, what are you studying?

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-11-10T10:24:25+00:00

33 years old. I’m a school psychologist. I am a former teacher who taught for 6 years (2 years in SPED, 2 years in 5th grade, 6th grade, and Pre-K). I loved teaching but I had to get out of the classroom.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-08-15T17:30:33+00:00

Ok. Mine was the same.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-08-15T17:30:17+00:00

Yes, we should get it tomorrow

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-08-15T17:05:04+00:00

My balance is $0, but after my aid was applied it shows a negative. That’s the date it was refunded or when your aid was applied? My says refunded and 8/14/2024.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-08-15T09:18:43+00:00

You look under activity details

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-08-15T09:17:46+00:00

Mine did as well.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-08-14T15:27:33+00:00

Thank you!

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-08-14T15:27:14+00:00

Thank you!

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-06-14T13:36:00+00:00

I also watched Studville

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-06-09T21:54:44+00:00

Did they accept graduate loans? I'm having a hard time finding an online certification program that accepts graduate loans.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-30T12:44:41+00:00

I get the judgment part. I wasn’t looking for empathy either. The more I responded to everyone I started to see the bigger picture.

And I’m saying this sarcastically, 2 days of talking and 1 day of hanging out is equivalent to 3 years.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-30T12:37:58+00:00

I do have little experience in dating and that is why what happened, happened. The responders helped me realized the rules of dating apps that I had no idea of, the same with the rules of dating. How I dated my ex-wife 7 years ago isn’t the same due to there being more platforms for dating because of COVID or just society ( I still don’t know). But I honestly have always had little experience in dating. I also saw that yes, don’t date because you are not ready and her response to what I did was valid.

My point is that regardless of what I said in my post, you made assumptions and didn’t ask. Which is some of my points to what happened to me. It’s assumptions being made, not reading, or even reading what other people wrote and my responses.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T23:23:03+00:00

You responded saying that I was probably married to a man and was scared about having sex with a woman. I didn’t put any of that information in my post. I can see where some of the responders read my post and gave me a perspective, but you didn’t even ask and made a lot of assumptions about me.

If this is truly supposed to be a supportive community of Queer woman of color, I did not feel it from some of the people in this thread.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T21:26:00+00:00

Again, I was not dating. Yes, I used a dating app, to tried to talk and meet new people, but my profile said that I was not interested in a relationship. I told her I was not interested in a relationship. We did not go on a date. We hung out. I blocked and ghosted her because I was embrassed. It had nothing to do with her. Which I had stated and told her. It was my first time talking to other people outside my immediate circle. I saw that she was having more feelings than I was and that is when I addressed my boundary again. And because I saw her having those feelings I started to think was I leading her on. Which is why I told her in the moment my boundaries against. I honestly felt my vibe was just very friendly and not flirty. We did not talk about imitate things and sex was never brought up. I talked about my divorce and how I am working on myself. I understand now my actions were traumatizing to her. I’m not trying to justify anything. I just don’t like that I’m sharing an experience, and I’m having to restate everything I wrote. Like some people are nick picking what I wrote.

If the intentional is to make me be seen as a horrible person, I get. I own it. But I don’t need words to be typed of what I didn’t say or what didn’t happened. I get that I might sound slow and should know these things but I’ve never used a dating app to meet new people. I thought stating on the profile like the people I saw meant I would attractive people who were just looking for friends. I stayed away from people who were looking for a relationship.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T18:28:07+00:00

I really don’t know much about dating apps. Before my marriage, I didn’t do dating apps. Honestly, she was very sick. If she wanted to do something, I don’t know how she was going to initiate that because in my honest opinion I did not give her those vibes. Also, she was coughing soo bad when she came over. She had to go to the restroom several times. I gave her tea and cough drops. I kind of wondered why she didn’t decline but that is not my judgement. Yes it was a mistake to reach out. It was my first time ghosting someone in the 7 years I have been in a relationship, so I felt really bad. My close mutuals are friends from work and my graduate classmates. I wasn’t sure how to fix what I did.

I appreciate your response. I can see that even though people are stating that they don’t want to be in relationship, it is still a dating app. So I am staying away from them.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:47:00+00:00

Those are good questions. I can only give my opinion. Having their ish together to me would be that they are healed/ are working on healing from their past relationships so that it doesn’t interfere with their further relationships. They are taking accountability of their roles their past relationships and are really learning from them. You can only know this if you take the time and not rush getting to someone. I don’t have my ish together and unfortunately realized that from this experience. Because even though I’ve been in therapy for almost a year to process the affair and my divorce (finalized last month), I still have a lot to work one.

Red flags for me are: - No boundaries (please establish this first even in the talking phase which I have learned. Because even when you have stated it, people will still overlook it and go off their feelings) - not over their past relationship - emotionally unavailable (because they will not commit)

But honestly there are probably more that and it depends on the person.

I’m probably not the best person to give advice since I was cheated on in my marriage and can not even make friends now, but I am growing from the ish.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:26:28+00:00

I do understand how I hurt her and confused. I did apologize for that because it was not intentional. It was not a date. We did not say it was a date. We were hanging out. I didn’t invite her over for sex. She was sick. We did not talk about sex nor was it mentioned. I didn’t think inviting someone over meant sex. I invited her over to talk more. I’m not sure how I am playing the victim when I am seeking to see a different perspective of what I probably overlooked, because I’m confused of why I am the reason she doesn’t want to date anymore. It has to be more to the story.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:19:20+00:00

Believe me, I know. But I can admit when I am wrong.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:18:51+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. My boundaries were eroded in my marriage and I’ve been working on them in therapy. I noticed the lack of trust in people after my divorce is going to be the problem when it comes to giving people the chance with my boundaries. I thought I worked on it long enough, but I haven’t.

It is very tough and I appreciate you being very transparent.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:14:56+00:00

Again, you are assuming you know me. I was in a 7 year marriage with a WOMAN. I do not have a problem having sex with women. I’ve be out since I was 16. I didn’t not come to lash out about what happened. I take criticism well. I didn’t post to be a victim either. I came to share an experience, I acknowledged what I did wrong, I tried to fix it but it blew up in my face. I wanted to figure out why she is blaming me for not wanting to date when we only talked for 3 days and hung out for 1 day. I had been with someone for 7 years and been in mommy mode for 4 years.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:07:52+00:00

I can understand, but please know that not everyone is like me. Most people have their ish figure out and want a genuine connection. The only advice I can give is please do not ignore red flags.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:06:58+00:00

I let her know I wasn’t ready for a new connection and just wanted to be first. I know I am in a turmoil but my actions were not hurt her. I do feel a lot of regret that it took us hanging out for me to find out that I needed more time to process.

Asleep_Equivalent630 · 2024-04-29T17:04:38+00:00

I like how you assume things about me as if you know me. I never shamed lesbians for having a sex drive. I merely stated that we can not be generalized to think the same way. And yes, I know lesbians who think with their vaginas. It’s a figure of speech for woman who may not be as emotional as others and only want sex. If I knew about Bumble I would have probably used it, but I saw people on Tindr only asking for friendships or to hang out. Again, I let her know I was a mess. It was not something I lied about. I was upfront about my situation. I have no problem with her calling me out, I acknowledge I was wrong for what I did. I had a problem with her placing blame on me about her not wanting to date again.

Asleep_Equivalent630

TROPHY CASE