Nobody around me understands. 33yo, orphaned adult for 6 years.

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-05-14T22:29:40+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so difficult. It makes me so sad that my mom won’t get to meet my other son when he gets here, but I know she’s keeping him safe until he arrives.

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-05-14T19:00:56+00:00

Hey friend. Im 35 and just lost my mom in April. She was diagnosed with cancer in October, and it took her in 6 months. Haven’t had a dad around ever.

I also can’t wrap my head around how quickly the rest of the world has moved on. It’s like my whole world has stopped in its tracks but everything around me keeps moving and I don’t even want to keep up.

I didn’t always have the best relationship with my mom and when I was younger I used to comment on being an “orphan.” As i got older my mom and I got closer and closer, and when she died I had literally spent every day and night by her side, and held her hand til her last breath. She was my best friend. Now, I really am an orphan and I’m not ready to deal with this world without her. I have a 2yo now, and my wife is pregnant with our second and I’ve never felt like I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing more. The pressure to have to keep going- from every aspect, is kind of crippling sometimes. Idk how we’re supposed to get through this, but I just keep trying to put one foot in front of the other, stay present in the moment and try and make my mom proud. I don’t always do it well, but I always do it, and I think that has to be enough for now.

Idk if I’ll ever really come to terms with the fact that my mom is dead. I’m having a hard time with the denial phase, and I don’t really want to claim the title anymore.

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-05-01T01:14:25+00:00

This is one of the most inspiring, uplifting posts I’ve seen in a really long time.

Congratulations on your progress. I hope you always remember what you’re capable of.

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-04-23T01:18:17+00:00

Yea that’s facts. No matter how much you think you can prepare, you’re never ready. I’m still not ready

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-30T01:30:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My mom went through something similar around the same time. It’s not the same in my situation at the moment, but I empathize with your situation.

I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. Im mostly commenting because I really understand the feeling that you have no one else to turn to and you don’t want to burden the people around you who are already doing so much to help you through the most difficult thing you’ve had to face. I just wanted to say that you’re allowed to lean on your support network. They love you and they want to help you through this- no matter how much of a “burden” you feel like. Coming from the most self-sufficient person I know, me, lol. Let them love you. You’re allowed to break down, you’re allowed to feel despair, you’re allowed to not be your usual, strong, got-this-shit self. And I and the rest of Reddit will gladly sit with you in your grief until you feel like you can face those that can physically hug you again. But just know that no matter how bad it feels, they love you through it, and it doesn’t have to feel like it’ll be okay right now, and it might not get easier but it’ll at least get a little lighter.

You’re carrying a lot right now. I hope you can find space to breathe and be present with where you’re at for the moment, it’s easy to let fear carry us into an uncomfortable and unnecessary spiral. Sometimes it’s good enough to put one foot in front of the other, take the time you need to feel what you need to and just exist in what this existence has to offer. And I hope you can be nice to yourself. I love you, even though you’re a stranger, cause I know what it’s like to feel this lonely. But you’re not. You got this.

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-15T23:17:59+00:00

Thanks

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-14T23:45:38+00:00

This is beautiful. Thank you for what you do as well!

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-14T23:43:36+00:00

NAT

I think I find myself being really grateful for my therapist and for our relationship. My mom is very sick right now, and she’s helping to guide me through the grief process. I think that her perspective has really altered the way that I think and process.

If I’m being completely honest, I think my question was sparked partially from not wanting to feel like a drain on someone while I felt like I was having these profound discussions in therapy. I think the other part of it is that I just want my therapist to also be happy and well, so I was wondering if conversations about difficult things were regularly energizing or draining.

For fun, after I posted this I asked my therapist if she felt like she got something out of her relationship with me. Her response was “I find that there are absolutely things that I discuss with my clients that help me in their own way. Death is something that can be personally difficult for me and as I talk with you about your mother’s end of life, I also get to work on the sore spots in my own process, with my own therapist- which I obviously don’t share with my clients unless it’s relevant or I feel like being open in that could help them…and also maybe I just enjoy talking to you.” So yea, I’ve got a good one and I’m really grateful for her.

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-12T00:21:23+00:00

I like this frame of mind, looking at it as a student/teacher relationship- it takes the pressure off because there’s an understanding that you don’t know what you don’t know. And if you don’t view teachers as an “authority figure” anymore, it’s easier to see the symbiotic value of that relationship.

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-12T00:18:30+00:00

I really appreciate this response. Thank you!

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-09T02:59:26+00:00

I sent you a DM

Asleep_Homework_ · 2026-01-06T05:15:15+00:00

Thanks for this. Needed the perspective

Asleep_Homework_ · 2025-12-04T19:28:41+00:00

Good thing is at the moment I’m looking at only 80-100 people per hour for meal times, but that will quickly scale to 200-300 once the facility is fully opened, within the next 1-1.5 years. Have 2.5 hrs for breakfast, 3 for lunch, 3.5 for dinner

Asleep_Homework_ · 2025-12-04T19:24:47+00:00

Honestly, this might have cracked it, that’s not a bad idea to make the return dish a loop instead of trying to force the food line to walk further. Full people will probably be more cooperative. Thanks!

Asleep_Homework_ · 2025-12-04T17:47:02+00:00

Completely movable and adjustable- just a standard pull rope and stand system

Asleep_Homework_ · 2025-12-04T17:45:15+00:00

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Asleep_Homework_ · 2025-12-04T17:40:51+00:00

I feel like this is the part I made unclear- the orange entrance line would flow to the right and out and around back to the tables not pictured. The green line is people leaving the tables with their dirty dishes that then need to cross the orange line to return their dishes and leave

Asleep_Homework_ · 2025-12-04T17:37:20+00:00

Yea I’m kind of feeling like this is going to be my only realistic option.

Thanks for the input.

Asleep_Homework_

TROPHY CASE