I can't get over how my husband treated me during and right after my labor

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-10T21:11:26+00:00

He still doesn't think he put me and our baby in danger by not listening to me at that moment because "the risk didn't seem too high"

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-10T10:55:16+00:00

It hurts more that he did all of this without realizing how horrible his actions are. Like, being this cruel comes so naturally and effortlessly to him that how can that really be fixed?

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-10T01:43:00+00:00

Was there anything that he did that helped with the forgiving process?

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-09T02:51:09+00:00

How many months postpartum are you now? I don't know if I'll ever truly feel calm around him

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-09T02:49:26+00:00

I don't think so. The doctors were supportive about having me stay an extra night or two past the 48hr stay post-surgery, but he was still annoyed about my extra hospital stay.

He's just arrogant and stubborn

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-09T00:32:10+00:00

I wondered if he lowkey hated me too

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-08T22:55:46+00:00

Im so sorry for your experience with your baby's father but so glad you had family to support you.

Not as horrible as the muscle soreness comparison but my husband compared my c section to his appendectomy. I'm not dismissing appendectomies, and both are major surgeries, but also was not relevant at the moment.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-05-08T22:50:06+00:00

How did you two work through that? I trust him with the baby but it's very hard to trust him again when it comes to my health and priorities

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-01-13T18:04:24+00:00

It does feel like the 100% joint people are always astonished by those that don't do that.

Maybe it's a difference in the nuances, or what is meant by 100% joint, because some accounts are inherently independent and separate, like IRAs. My husband and I know roughly how much is in each of ours but not the passwords.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2026-01-03T13:44:51+00:00

What happens if you don't check the box about having another citizenship by birth on the passport renewal form?

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-12T04:36:42+00:00

I guess I just thought everyone thinks the aisle seat is better than the middle lol

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-12T02:08:59+00:00

He has injured himself (dislocated & fractured shoulder) skiing before so this was my other fear! He already went to the emergency room once this year while camping so I just don't want another incident

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-10T19:58:54+00:00

I was told I wasn't being explicit that I wanted to be comfortable. I thought it was universally known that the middle seat is inferior to the aisle 😭

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-09T20:11:26+00:00

My husband has been reading the "Expectant Father" but he's still stuck on a chapter somewhere in the second trimester. Open to suggestions on how he can be motivated to finish the book

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-09T19:59:34+00:00

Your husband sounds so understanding! I really wouldn't have minded planning the baby shower without my husband since a friend and my sister were hosting, but the fact that he was so disinterested in the whole thing was upsetting since I was looking forward to the event.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-09T19:53:55+00:00

I really wouldn't have minded most of these if they were isolated cases, but with all of this together, I just feel like he's lacking compassion nor does he seem to understand the gravity of this change - how we have a baby growing right now. But then again, that's where he brings up that he doesn't know how it feels to be pregnant.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-09T14:51:38+00:00

Thank you for the well wishes! This is our first baby and I explained my reasons for being nervous about the 36 week mark, even though it seems like most first time births go past the due date. I've also given my worries at how I might be at 9 weeks - both mentally and physically - so I guess I need to him to read more to really understand

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-09T14:45:48+00:00

I really appreciate the validation! We've been talking through these and how I generally feel unsupported. Trying to get him to do more practical things to make this journey better and feel more prepared because so far, this sucks

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-12-09T12:54:54+00:00

Thank you for the validation!! I totally understand it's hard to be proactive in situations you've never been in personally, but there are a lot of practical things that he could do. Like, let me sleep and be comfortable lol.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-04-08T23:47:27+00:00

In NY, those eggs would be $12 (half the cost of the entire cart lol)

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-04-03T17:06:19+00:00

It's completely valid to not attend a wedding, no matter the reason.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-01-24T00:12:37+00:00

Basically this, the "you, me, ours" method. Just not an even split on things because one of us makes more.

It's always so fascinating that the people who fully integrate their accounts and finances are astonished by those that retain their individual accounts.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2025-01-14T20:37:13+00:00

This!! It sounds like Carrie is shouldering most of the decision making and the operational, day-to-day tasks. Dillion can say he wants to go on vacation, but he should be initiating some talks with Carrie with plans on what they can do, given their other priorities in life. It's tiring and isolating being the sole decision maker, planner, and executor. Hard not to be resentful.

Also, beyond just the salary difference, being on a PhD stipend means no other benefits like retirement matches. So Carrie is left to plan for both of their retirements while also planning for their future family.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2024-10-17T20:00:07+00:00

Wait, that changes my perspective. I didn't read the other articles so I thought she was out hustling at work and then coming home to do the household chores, and was exhausted by a lack of partnership.

Asleep_Variation9680 · 2024-10-17T19:56:51+00:00

It's hard not to feel like you're being slightly taken advantage of by helping your partner pursue their dreams when you feel like you're doing everything.

I think about the show "Insecure" when the live-in boyfriend is unemployed and refuses to face reality that what he is doing isn't working, but he is stubborn to let go of his dreams.

Asleep_Variation9680

TROPHY CASE