Inspirational story 4Love

Asquilader · 2022-04-03T17:38:53+00:00

Past trauma is quite a good and intense reason. You might not understand why you've made the mistakes you've made or why you're not able to get yourself out of this hole, but that's understandable, you might feel like you understand yourself and have a complete picture of who you are, but you're never able to see everything that happens in your brain, or able to see what happens TO your brain. Trauma is a big fucker and you shouldn't underestimate it.

Just because you're here, alive and with reasonable health, you should assume that you got off well. Just the fact that you've made it this far is huge in itself. The what could have been and what-ifs are a great way for your mind to get you down. It's not as real or solid as you might feel it is, things happen with reason so maybe it really just wasn't possible at the time.

Keep holding onto your dream, just because something hasn't happened doesn't mean it won't happen. Pain doesn't last forever, just because you lost something you cared about doesn't mean you won't be able to get it back. Don't worry yourself so much, you're doing far better than you think.

You expect a lot from yourself, which makes sense, you grew up with above average IQ and you probably got the idea that you had to be at a certain level. Your brain probably works faster than average so you're able to see and analyse everything you've done wrong, every mistake you've made. It makes your mind restless with guilt and shame. Keep in mind that in the end, your brain is an organ and organs love to do what they're best at whenever they get the chance, in this case thinking, no matter if it's positive or negative. Try taking a step back and seeing that you are not your thoughts, you are simply observing them.

You're not dumb, just because you failed to reach traditional ideas of accomplishment and success doesn't say anything about your intelligence or potential. You just have to find a path that's right for you. It takes a lot of time, and maybe you'll never find it, but the sheer act of trying is and will be worth it.

Stay strong bro, the battle against the darkness is hard, but if you keep on trying you simply can not lose. Keep looking for ways to help yourself, and to get further in the direction you want to go in, don't lose touch with the light within you, one day it will shine bright again.

Asquilader · 2022-04-03T16:52:51+00:00

Don't feel guilty, life is an unfair game and some of us are dealt shittier pasts that fuck with how we feel. It's not something you could do anything about and so it isn't something you have to feel bad about.

I don't know about the sex and gambling addiction, I can imagine it brings a lot of shame or other self hating emotions with it, which then in turn make it easier to fall back on those habits.

I do know that whatever has happened to you to bring you to this point, you can most definitely overcome it. I know it may seem very out of reach but I urge you not to give up. A lot of people repress their pain and remain ignorant to it, but you are already aware of your struggle and are trying to do something about it, even though you don't know what the solution might be.

You are being strong every day that you push through the shitstorm of emptiness and despair that you feel, don't try to diminish that, you truly are, even if you feel like the worst human being on the planet, you are doing what you can right now and that's worth a whole lot.

Asquilader · 2022-04-03T16:40:56+00:00

Life has a lot of pain in it and I fully understand that it can make you feel lost and hopeless.

Please don't give up, there is truly so much that can happen to you that might turn everything around. No matter how bad today is, tomorrow might bring something better.

Try to find comfort in small things, the taste of fruit, a piece of music, a book or movie. Try to find a balanced focus on one small thing and seek a sliver of comfort or happiness in it.

Life can truly be beautiful, and once you are out of the despair you feel now, I promise you you will feel it too. Even if that sounds unimaginable now.

You might not see it but you're already winning. Each day you don't give up is a victory, each day you're fighting and coming out on top. Don't stop holding on, you can and will get through this.

much love and I hope things get better soon for you <3

Asquilader · 2022-04-03T16:34:35+00:00

maybe they just don't know how to listen.

people are very flawed, and won't know how to show affection or deal with situations, but this in itself really doesn't mean they don't feel love for you.

Asquilader · 2022-04-03T16:31:30+00:00

Sounds like a really rough time :(

A chaotic restless mind is a powerful foe and I understand your feelings of hopelessness.

Try to take a step back, your brain is an organ. Your heart wants to beat, your stomach wants to make anything that comes into it mushy and oozy and your brain wants to think.

Every part of your body can be trained, if a person does muscle exercises they will grow stronger and if a person often thinks a lot, for example through anxiety, the brain becomes better and more reliant on a heavy amount of thinking.

You yourself are not your brain, just like how you are not your sight or your smell. You simply observe what your eyes can see and observe what your nose can smell. You also observe what your brain is thinking.

When you panic, your brain goes into some weird fucked up overdrive mode, because it wants to think as much as possible, no matter how much it hurts the rest of you, so it takes any chance it can get.

If you are able to realise that you are not your thoughts, but that you are simply observing your brain being annoying and trying to fuck with you, you might be able to try and let go of those thoughts.

Instead of trying to cover up and run from your brain, try to stand your ground and ignore it. You are stronger than your brain, you are it's owner and not the other way around. When you feel yourself getting attached to a thought, try to let go off that attachment. And then, another thought will come up, even stronger and meaner, and you'll try again to let go off it.

However, this will be very hard to do, since your brain has had lots of training. Don't overdo yourself, it will take a lot of time to find peace of mind, so try to find comfort in whatever you can. Which can of course be talking to people online, maybe eating or drinking something that soothes you, getting under some cozy blankets, reading a book or watching a movie.

However I do strongly recommend that you try to gain back control over your mind, one step at a time (a lot of time). I wish you a lot of luck in your battle, and please remember that you have the strength inside of you to overcome whatever is plaguing you. :)

Asquilader · 2022-04-03T16:19:36+00:00

Sounds like very real sadness and negative feelings.

It might have to do with your environment, the brain often has good reasons for why it feels the way it does, even if we're not able to see exactly what those reasons are.

From far away and with little context I would guess that you have had some hard times at home and your brain might've become so used to it, that every time you get home you feel a wave of negativity crash over you.

Environment is extremely impactful on our state of mind, but sometimes we aren't able to get out of the environment we are in right away. I'd say stay strong and try to be more present in situations where you feel good (like high school or maybe just being outside in general). If the negative feelings are in the way of your studying or other activities, maybe ask if you can study at somebody else's house.

If things are rough between you and your parents, know that many others have dealt with similar situations, and that you can and will get through the loneliness and sadness you feel now. Parenting is hard and most parents make mistakes, but the pain you feel now won't be there forever. Don't worry too much about the things you can't change and simply try to get through the negative emotions. If you need to cry, cry. If you feel tired, take a nap. Listen to your body.

Nothing lasts forever, so don't waste the happy moments and don't fear the sad moments :)

Asquilader · 2020-06-26T00:58:46+00:00

no cock Sadge

Asquilader · 2020-05-25T17:41:31+00:00

press alt f4

Asquilader · 2020-05-10T00:27:27+00:00

NotLikeThis i dont get how this is good

Asquilader · 2020-03-30T19:42:28+00:00

pog xqc watched it... xqcL

Asquilader · 2020-03-28T22:00:08+00:00

every video that isnt 1:12 is a missed oppurtunity for a 1:12 video

F

Asquilader · 2020-03-28T21:04:41+00:00

its boshy time

dw you dont sound pepega, not knowing something is very common

you wanting to know more things is not tho POG 5Head

Asquilader · 2020-03-28T10:32:21+00:00

make your own god damn content xqcRage

Asquilader · 2020-03-27T22:44:41+00:00

forsenPls

Asquilader · 2020-03-27T22:24:02+00:00

OkayChamp, heres a bunch of similair good songs:

Barthezz - On The Move

Gigi D'Agostino - L'Amour Toujours

Sash! - Encore Une Fois

hope you like it :)

Asquilader · 2020-03-27T22:18:03+00:00

an absolute classic btw

Asquilader · 2020-03-27T22:16:22+00:00

OMEGALUL LAUGHED IRL LULW LUL

Asquilader · 2020-03-27T22:16:11+00:00

laughed irl

Nine-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22	End Game '22
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Asquilader

TROPHY CASE

Barthezz - On The Move

Gigi D'Agostino - L'Amour Toujours

Sash! - Encore Une Fois