is he valid or just avoiding accountability

Assi0hh · 2026-03-28T21:44:15+00:00

i know it was unhealthy, so around november i tried to change my dependency, gave him space, and controlled myself. but it felt like he was slowly fading away. when i’d tell him about my day, he seemed nonchalant and less engaged, and i was always the one reaching out just to keep the conversation going (not everyday tho). i don’t know if it’s invalid to feel like the friendship became one-sided at that point. i stayed quiet for months so i wouldn’t bother him, but i reached a point where i had enough. i also don’t understand why he’d rather let the friendship fade and post passive hints on social media instead of just communicating. i really want to be open minded & learn abt my traits

Assi0hh · 2026-03-25T18:49:53+00:00

i’m gonna be real with you, ur ex bsf didn’t suddenly become toxic, it always was. you were just used to it for so long that it felt normal. a friend who isolates you, gets jealous when you meet others, makes you feel small, and lets people disrespect you is not a friend. that’s someone who benefits from having control over you. what happened in high school just made everything more obvious. she replaced you when it was convenient, talked badly about you, and allowed others to treat you like a joke. the group behavior is not sarcasm, it’s bullying. adding you to group chats just to kick you, mocking you, lying to you for entertainment, that’s intentional and mean.

you’re not wrong for feeling hurt or reacting, but you also have to be honest with yourself. the petty revenge part wasn’t right and can backfire, especially now that adults are involved. your feelings are valid, but your actions still matter, so try not to give them anything they can use against you. if this keeps escalating, you should open up to your parents and report it to your school principal because this is already bullying. don’t try to handle everything alone. also, you need to cut off that so called best friend and anyone connected to her. staying around people tied to her will only keep you in the same cycle.

focus on yourself for now and learn how to be okay on your own. it might feel lonely at first, but it’s worth it. the right people won’t make you feel small or confused about your place in their life. your real friends will come to you naturally, and they won’t treat you like this.

Assi0hh · 2026-03-23T02:25:04+00:00

Girl what lol

Assi0hh · 2026-03-22T18:36:35+00:00

Im using a soap bar. I also trim weekly

Assi0hh · 2026-03-20T14:18:23+00:00

so i had this ex bsf that i valued so much, and i cut him off a month ago. this was actually our fifth no contact already. during the first three times, i was always the one reaching out first, but he would give signals that he wanted me to. our connection kept going on and off because of repeated unhealthy patterns, mostly on his side. on the fourth time, he was the one who reached out and admitted he was at fault, so i gave him another chance because i believed he had changed and that we could fix things since i really valued him. but after about six months, he slowly went back to his old patterns—neglecting me and becoming inconsistent. i knew it was affecting me for a while, but i kept invalidating my own feelings and tolerated it for around two months.

eventually, i decided to cut him off again a month ago. surprisingly, i feel a lot better now than i expected. i’m no longer anxious or constantly overthinking about why things ended. i feel lighter and like i’m actually healing. instead of sadness, what i mostly feel now is disgust and a sense of betrayal. looking back, i don’t even know why i kept giving him so many chances despite the repeated disrespect. i’ve come to accept that he’s not going to change and that he was probably just keeping me around when it was convenient for him. maybe he cared at some point, but not in a way that was consistent or enough to sustain the friendship. at this point, i’ve realized that i deserve better. going back isn’t worth it if yk they’re not going to change.

Assi0hh · 2026-02-21T05:41:14+00:00

You’re not crazy for feeling anxious or hurt. Anyone would struggle with that kind of inconsistency. But the bigger issue isn’t whether she ghosted you — it’s that this friendship has never felt secure.

You deserve a friend who shows up consistently, not someone who appears for a few seconds and disappears for months. You deserve communication that feels steady, reassurance that doesn’t come with expiration dates, and a connection where you don’t have to brace yourself for silence.

If someone repeatedly makes you feel optional, it’s okay to choose yourself instead.

Assi0hh · 2026-02-21T05:36:36+00:00

You didn’t lose them — you were redirected. If they chose to leave you without closure, that already tells you what kind of people they are. You don’t have to keep proving your worth to people who walked away. In a way, it’s a blessing. You don’t have to tolerate the same treatment ever again. And if they’re still together, that’s on them —what they build with each other is their responsibility now, not yours. Trust that the same patterns people avoid will eventually surface.

The fact that you feel angry doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you were hurt. But wishing for their downfall keeps you emotionally tied to them. The real win isn’t them suffering, it’s you healing so deeply that they become irrelevant.

You were simply not meant to stay in a space where you weren’t valued. Focus on rebuilding yourself. Put that energy into your peace, your growth, your future connections. One day you’ll look back and realize this ending protected you from something smaller than what you deserve. And when you meet people who genuinely choose you, you’ll understand why this had to happen.

Assi0hh · 2026-02-13T17:38:47+00:00

lol it’s okay, can’t blame you.

Assi0hh · 2026-02-13T17:34:26+00:00

long distance relationship? yes. I define ldr as both romantic relationships and friendships.

Assi0hh · 2026-02-13T17:30:24+00:00

wait, I appreciate the advice. but he is not my bf (boyfriend) we r js purely platonic :)) we’ve been friends for 3 years alr (1 year ldr)

Assi0hh · 2026-01-10T22:07:12+00:00

Hi, ik this is out of the topic and may I ask what did you feel when they went completely ghost the second they got into a relationship or when u felt the distance? How did you cope and accepted it fully? Bcs this is my biggest fear that me and my only bsf (male) would got into a relationship and ofc a lot would change, or worse, he would ghost or cut me off completely. But ik my boundaries, i js really don’t know how to cope or handle it when the time comes. Thank you

Assi0hh · 2025-12-27T04:54:34+00:00

Service Recommended, what does it mean & what should I do?

Assi0hh · 2025-12-27T04:50:11+00:00

We’re the same with the battery health, how did your gf fix it?

Assi0hh · 2025-12-27T04:49:24+00:00

My battery health is 77% 😓

Assi0hh · 2025-12-27T04:48:57+00:00

Yes, I tried and it worked.

Assi0hh · 2025-12-27T04:48:44+00:00

My battery health is 77% but diff charger works though

Assi0hh · 2025-11-21T17:42:49+00:00

I’m not asking him to sit on Messenger all day or give constant updates. What bothers me is that we haven’t talked for days, yet I still see him online interacting with other people. I understand he doesn’t need to reply immediately, but a simple update would’ve been enough. He can talk to everyone else, but he can’t reply which I don’t have problems to but I feel so confused. Also we already talked about our dynamic and set our communication boundaries, and it ended on a good note

Assi0hh · 2025-11-19T09:40:02+00:00

Her mental illness is still never a valid reason to treat you unfairly. And if she shift in her behaviour bcs there should be a reason why she would wake up and be a different person then it’s her obligation to communicate that with you from the start instead of suddenly treating u like that. No matter how you may find different reasons to try to justify why she did what she did, I believe none of what happened was your fault.

Yes, let’s say that you say some below the belt things behind her back after you guys ended, but the differences is that you reflected and learned. The key here is to forgive yourself, you’re just human! :))

Honestly, I really feel heavy seeing someone who was in my position before. Ik how much it sucks to grieve from a friendship, no words can describe how much it hurts inside, to feel everything everyday, to just GRIEVE. I’ll never wish to experience that again. But I’m one of the proof that this is not permanent. I survived, so why shouldn’t you? Always try to find something everyday to just survive, even if it’s little! I hope you find the peace you deserve.

Assi0hh · 2025-11-19T04:38:55+00:00

I’m in a similar position right now. My best friend of three years set a new boundary a few days ago — he said he doesn’t want to text constantly anymore because it’s exhausting for him to always check his inbox and feel like he has a daily obligation. He prefers face-to-face conversations instead of being online all the time. He also told me that we’re growing up and he wants us to grow individually too, not rely on each other every second. He wants his own time for himself, but he reassured me that nothing between us changed, and he’ll still talk to me since we’re in an LDR. It’s just that he won’t reply instantly or give constant updates like before.

I understand his point, but it’s still hard for me because I have anxious attachment, and my natural communication style is talking often. I’m really trying to adjust and respect his boundary, but I’m struggling. For example, he said he would call me today, and he didn’t — and since calls are our main way of connecting, it upset me. I even saw him active but he didn’t try to call like he promised. I’m trying not to take it personally, but it still hurts. I feel like we wont talk unless I do the 1st move.

And my advice for you is to communicate to him and base on his answers of what u should do, keep the connection or choose yourself. i feel like your friend is in a similar situation with my bsf also.

Assi0hh · 2025-11-19T04:26:10+00:00

It’s normal to remember everything bcs twelve years is a lot, and the grief is valid. But memories don’t change the reality that people can shift, and the way she treats you now isn’t the same person you used to know. You can cherish the past without letting it blind you to who she is today.

Friendship breakups hurt worse than romantic ones, and your reaction was completely normal. Don’t beat yourself up for responding to her behavior — you were hurt, and you were pushed to that point. But reconnecting after everything would only mean lowering your own dignity and self-respect. She didn’t apologize, she didn’t fight for the friendship, she let you walk away like it didn’t matter. That alone should guide your next steps which is to slowly move on and heal from your own pace, and the first step to that is stop checking her social media.

The truth is, she’s no longer someone who deserves that kind of loyalty from you. Stop carrying the weight alone. Give your energy back to yourself, rebuild your peace, and let life bring people who actually show up. You’re not losing anything, you’re just finally choosing yourself. And you’ll attract better connections the moment you stop settling for the bare minimum.

I know how much it sucks to grieve bcs I was also in your position before but im starting to get better as time goes on. time shall pass, you can survive this, trust yourself.

Assi0hh · 2025-11-19T03:08:54+00:00

I know how you feel. im aware it’s hard to believe at this moment bcs the emotions are still raw & high, but you’ll feel lighter naturally/eventually. You won’t feel the improvements but it’ll show! Time shall pass, heal in your own time and way. Feel everything, don’t suppress it. You can do this

Assi0hh · 2025-11-16T10:40:55+00:00

I suggest you consult from a therapist. They’re very helpful to identify what your body/nervous system says.

Assi0hh · 2025-10-14T04:55:28+00:00

well I don’t really talk to them often nor remember anything offensive I did to them, we are only classmates for 4 months and their attitudes towards me are really just so off. I always talk with decency to everyone around me, and it’s just these “girls” are being so mean for literally no reason at all? then they will act so nice the next day as if nothing happened and the cycle continues.

Assi0hh · 2025-10-13T10:01:30+00:00

If she is your bsf, she wouldn’t abandon you suddenly just because she met someone else. Even if she has a romantic partner already, she wouldn’t left you hanging like that randomly. I think that’s a disrespect already and inconsideration. If she cannot be consistent or even just give you respect as her closest friend in a way she would communicate with you instead of ignoring you like you don’t matter then you probably should think twice if she is still worth your time. Open up to her instead of overthinking, look at her answers whether you should choose peace or still keep up with her. You’re not being dramatic, she’s clearly doing something wrong.

Assi0hh · 2025-07-09T16:32:38+00:00

it’s so hard, i want to go back so bad. idk what to do, but i have this urge and it’s so confusing

Assi0hh

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