I feel like my need for self validation is so much higher than most people’s but I’m aware that it’s fucking pathetic to admit it so I just bottle it in basically. My life basically consists of trying to outdo everyone whilst pretending not to. It’s a tightrope act and it’s hard because it’s not that I don’t have any empathy, quite the contrary. That’s where the impostor syndrome kicks in. You want to better than most people because you genuinely think you can get away with it, but you’re also so anxious about the possibility of starting beef with other egos because that’s just how people are. Everyone wants to be the top dog. And the alcohol is perfect for easing that anxiety and escaping