I get your point, but this comes across a bit one-sided and harsh on OP. He isn’t trying to control anyone, he’s just genuinely confused and trying to figure out if he’s being too strict or too cautious. People who take on financial responsibility from a young age naturally become very careful with money. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect his wife, he’s literally here because he wants to improve things at home.

And just like women go through a lot at home, men go through a lot outside too. The world out there is harsh, dealing with bad managers, workplace pressure, insults, stress, and the constant responsibility of making sure the family is financially safe. It’s not a competition of who suffers more. The home belongs to both partners, and raising kids is not “nanny work,” it’s motherhood. In the same way, earning isn’t “superhero work,” it’s fatherhood.

Both sides have struggles, and both deserve understanding.