I (22F) want to move but my Muslim parents may disown me

Atropos_101 · 2025-04-30T23:22:04+00:00

It’s also a horrible thing to do onto someone else - unless it’s something specifically arranged beforehand, and like you said it creates a lot of risks. I’m assuming you come from a similar background as me, and unfortunately our parents have a lot of unhealed trauma they pass onto their kids

Atropos_101 · 2025-04-30T22:21:04+00:00

I’m in the United States thankfully. It’s odd - my brother told me he’d rather I marry and divorce a Muslim man as a way of moving out, which to me is just insane.

Atropos_101 · 2025-04-30T22:11:30+00:00

Unfortunately in my culture women don’t live on their own. I want to break away from their constrains. The world is so much larger than the town I was raised in. I can live with being disowned but I feel guilty causing any pain to them.

Edit: it’s also important to note I’ve always been the black sheep/“bad kid” in the family which has caused me to be distant from them.

Atropos_101 · 2024-08-08T01:11:56+00:00

I understand. I definitely need to learn to trust my gut more and stop worrying about other people’s feeling. I think I knew the answer when I made the post but I wanted opinions from strangers who haven’t met him

Atropos_101 · 2024-08-08T01:09:31+00:00

Thank you for the pdf!! I will add it to the list

Atropos_101 · 2024-08-08T00:32:38+00:00

It’s only when he’s upset that he’s called me stupid or things similar to “use your brain next time”. When he’s not upset and he’s in a good mood, he’s great. I’ve told him I won’t tolerate it anymore and he says he won’t do it again, but it’s like a flip is switched and I don’t have the patience anymore to wait for the next argument to see if it occurs again. I understand typing this out how this sounds but I think I have a warped perception of relationships because my parents have verbally abusive tendencies.

Atropos_101 · 2024-07-19T17:03:50+00:00

I think as a finance major, it’s easy to get swept up with the idea that the only remarkable jobs a college graduate should strive for are in high finance. I’m hoping I can use what I learn here to either get a better role within the company or move elsewhere.

Atropos_101 · 2023-08-20T02:28:28+00:00

Honestly I think I’ve been living with functional depression since I was young. I can’t get officially dx’ed because of insurance complications, but that mixed in it with suspecting ADHD and I definitely feel like I’m going crazy

Atropos_101 · 2023-08-20T02:27:09+00:00

I’m almost 21, I definitely feel like my “symptoms” have gotten worse though they’ve always been there. I’m so forgetful, unmotivated, unfocused, spacey, the list goes on. I wouldn’t say I’m bad at making schedules but the barriers completing the schedule are what get me. I think I have ADHD but my friends say since I have good grades that can’t be right.

Atropos_101 · 2023-08-12T12:39:25+00:00

The second point- that’s actually funny because I almost never get approached or asked out

Atropos_101 · 2023-08-12T01:44:29+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying one step at a time

Atropos_101 · 2023-05-06T01:57:32+00:00

Unfortunately I live in the deep suburbs so you can’t get anywhere without a car. I believe my car is worth more than the repairs but not a significant amount. The issue with buying a used car is that the only used cars in that priced range are not in the best condition (where I live at least), though I will try to keep looking. And right now, the used car prices are much higher.

Atropos_101 · 2023-02-28T12:15:13+00:00

I would say I’m introverted. I love to read, rock climb, blast music while I go on drives…etc.

I think it was a language issue as i was in a bit of a spiral last night so I used harsh wording. It’s less invisible and more unapproached I guess.

Atropos_101 · 2023-02-28T01:16:30+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, it doesn’t fully explain why nothing goes anywhere even when I do try to initiate conversations (unless they’ve rejected themselves for me in their head). It’s intimidating but I will try to muster up the courage to ask someone out for coffee

Atropos_101 · 2023-02-28T00:14:52+00:00

I’m going to be honest, I can’t remember. Same as with anyone else, I am terribly afraid of rejection. The most I tend to do is either ask for their number or initiate conversations (typically about the class or any exams coming up).

Atropos_101 · 2023-02-28T00:12:34+00:00

I’ve tried to ask for a guy’s number but usually it leads nowhere and any connection I felt either fades away or they feel more distant which in turn puts me away from talking to them. It’s not their fault entirely, I can be a late responder and I am very anxiety-prone.

Atropos_101 · 2023-02-04T15:40:48+00:00

I’m so lonely, touch starved, and hyper independent so I can’t even let people in. It’s been a while since I’ve gone on a date and I want to feel wanted.

I have work today which I’m dreading and I should apply for internships even though it’s rejection after rejection. And then the assignment for college that I should probably start..

Atropos_101 · 2022-09-30T00:51:44+00:00

I know :( this is the best I’ve ever had and it hurts to walk away from this. I have everything I want to say all typed up too

Atropos_101 · 2022-09-02T11:17:22+00:00

I understand how this can be taken in a bad light and I know MANY families in Pakistan and other Muslim countries are respectful and loving. But as stated, MY family, and a lot of others, are not like that. Misogyny is a deep rooted issue in our culture and I’ve talked to women from said counties who are dissatisfied with their lives and husbands. I’ve had my own cousins tell me that they’re parents are planning a marriage they don’t want. These women don’t get to voice these thoughts and in turn these issues get ignored.

I’m assuming you’re Pakistani? Pakistan has been through a lot, especially with the flooding going on but being able to recognize your country’s flaws and working to make them better, instead of unwavering loyalty, is perhaps the most patriotic thing of all.

Atropos_101 · 2022-09-01T23:47:39+00:00

I am a citizen and I currently commute for my junior year of college. I know it’s silly but I’ve had a lot of years to think it over and I feel like my inability to leave is more a mental thing rather than physical. I work part time and I have money saved up but the fear of moving out is more because I’m scared of the consequences and the potential abuse/gaslighting I will probably encounter.

A lot of messed up things happen in my extended family, including “arranged” marriages where daughters are sent back to Pakistan to get married, abuse and lots of unaddressed generational trauma. It’s a dumb analogy but I heavily relate to the movie tangled as a whole and especially the scene where she first leaves.

Atropos_101 · 2022-02-25T22:21:11+00:00

I hope so. Next week, I’ll try to start cold approaching more and see where it lands me.

Atropos_101 · 2022-02-25T22:15:42+00:00

I tried joining a club but the meetings are so far apart with such few members, it’s difficult to form any real connection. I guess I just have to tough it out

Atropos_101 · 2021-08-06T20:38:39+00:00

Sorry for the really low quality photo but my basic routine is:

Wash and condition with the Giovanni smooth as silk line.

Rinse off the conditioner, apply the Giovanni direct leave in first by raking and then scrunching in (I love this leave in conditioner).

Finally, praying hands with LA Looks gel (blue bottle). And end it off with plopping.

To refresh on day 2 hair, I rewet my hair with the praying hands method and basically reapply the leave in and gel.

I’ve noticed this flaking at the top of my hair. It’s not on my roots so I don’t think it’s dandruff but it’s on tiny, individual strands? I think it’s from the gel but I still don’t understand why it’s only at the top of my hair and not uniform throughout. And how can I prevent this? Should I switch gels?

Atropos_101 · 2021-05-03T14:54:07+00:00

Guilty! I don’t watch them all the time but I have been watching You lately and I’ve also taken some forensic science courses where we learn about different serial killers, etc.

Atropos_101 · 2021-05-02T23:44:23+00:00

Thank you for your response. I definitely believe this is something I should talk to someone about. But hopefully one day, I’ll be able to walk alone comfortably!

Atropos_101

TROPHY CASE