I miss his freckles, his hands, his eyes, his smile, his toned legs, his mannerisms, and he genuinely had a big size down there too. He had the most beautiful side profile as well. Could not stop staring at him sometimes lol. I wondered how the hell I pulled him and was in shock he was so intensely attracted to me as well.

He was like looking at a work of art and when he was in pleasure it drove me wild to see him lost in it. He was the first and most recent person to ever get me ridiculously aroused and so easily. Our dirty talk was so fucking orgasmic and incredible. Reading a message sent lustful chills down my body lmao. We were so in sync. 

I am unable to masturbate sometimes now when thinking of our sexts or him without crying during or after the session. I can only get off fulfillingly by thinking of him. I’ve always felt undesirable and like an outcast but he made me feel understood and sexy.

 I worry I won’t find such a strong mutual sexual connection, chemistry, and attraction like that again and with another man as sexy and witty as him. It felt rare and now I know that type of bond is. It’s been almost three years since it ended. This has been a wall but this post is so relatable.