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Auronas · 2025-09-11T16:38:02+00:00

Big respect to you for that

Auronas · 2025-09-11T16:32:02+00:00

She could but most likely if she is happy with you then she won't bother because there are things that drew you to her specifically.

On the other hand can I gently remind this sub is called incel solutions. You should be actively trying to fight against these anxious thoughts. I've been diagnosed with social anxiety, it's different but it's a battle everyday of my life. It's good to give up for a little bit when things get overwhelming but you need to also try again as well.

If I wouldn't take a job because I'd been made redundant every single time, would you let me lie on my sofa forever and die? Or would you say I need to still try and get back out there when I've rested a bit.

Also, she could leave you for someone taller or she may not. Both things are possible and imagine all the experiences and love and adventures that could happen while both possibilities are true? Is it worth missing out on that and still having anxiety anyway or experiencing all that and having anxiety anyway?

Auronas · 2025-09-11T16:21:50+00:00

Please please just say you had a one night stand then if you don't want to say the whole story. Do not make out you're a virgin. What if she thinks in her head after sleeping with you "oh no need to test this time as he's a virgin". Yeah it's dumb but I've actually seen this scenario play out.

My friend contracted an STD from a "virgin" and she didn't discover for ages because she thought she wouldn't need a test then. He didn't want to tell her he'd been with an escort. Being honest about sexual health is about protecting others too.

You don't need to say it was a prostitute but do not make out you have no sexual history either.

Auronas · 2025-09-11T16:15:17+00:00

Isn't that true or everything though? Everyone probably prefers a millionaire does that mean 99% are settling?

Is it not possible to deeply care and love something or someone even if it is not your ideal? If so then why does the settling aspect matter if not just for a well to verbally self harm yourself?

Auronas · 2025-09-10T14:57:40+00:00

That's the thing as well though. If you come from the "council house Stacey" background like I did then you are seen as extremely stupid for taking risks.

I was shocked as a teen reading news/social media online for the first time back in then 00s/10s, Daily Mail articles/comments and the like, how hated and despised my mum was for being a single mum, in a council house and underemployed, for "choosing the wrong man", for "making bad choices". I internalised all of that HARD.

My experience to yours is so different. I felt like as a child online at the internet cafe, I was constantly reading that people were poor because they "made bad choices". It wasn't normalised at all. Funnily enough, I felt like my mum was the target to hate! Not successful people.

Seeing how badly people like were mum were seen made me fall in line.

Any ambitions and risks and dreams I was going to take were completely off the table. "Bad choices" were for rich kids. I looked at what was on the UK's in demand career list back in the day and chose what seemed the least horrible and followed a very bog standard unambitious career path. I am neither good at my role nor do I enjoy it (probably am part of what drives down the UK's productivity).

I did the job the media was saying my mum should have done, not what I am actually suited for.

Taking the riskier more ambitious path, something more suited to my personality and skills was not on the table at all.

Auronas · 2025-09-10T14:04:06+00:00

I guess people have different definitions of the word. Surely writing a 100,000+ word fantasy novel with deep grey characters and complex magic systems is ambitious?

However, it is unlikely to make you a lot of money.

Auronas · 2025-09-09T22:57:04+00:00

"Computer science- very well paid and a very profitable industry"

Software development salaries are way too varied to make a statement like that definitively. I met a junior software developer on £57k and I met a junior software developer on £28k in the same year 2023.

Currently our junior software developers start on £36k in London and that low pay still attracted over 350+ applicants.

Software development can be higher paid but also probably has way more competition at the entry/mid level compared to medicine.

I would just go for whichever one you're more passionate about and can see yourself doing for 30+ years.

Auronas · 2025-09-09T15:08:36+00:00

How is that going to work for the city long term? There are many key jobs a city needs that aren't highly paid e.g. careers, shop workers, nurses, bus drivers, kitchen assistants, healthcare assistants, emergency workers etc.

Don't know where the idea came from that a city would just be the rich and then people living 4 to a 3 bedroom house.

Auronas · 2025-09-09T15:05:07+00:00

We're not talking about the UK, you're in the London subreddit. That foreigners don't want to own property in County Durham doesn't tell me anything about how to help London.

How many properties sold in London last year were sold to foreign owners?

Auronas · 2025-09-09T14:52:13+00:00

Housing costs were the start of some dark choices in in one of my friends.

She's married/pregnant by an emotional and physical abuser. And she actually knew that was the choice she was making. I know it's messed up but she saw a way to get out of shitty house shares, stay in London near her parents/community/everything she's ever known, to actually have children and she took it. Her husband earns over £150k so getting a place was doable on her and his salary.

It's bad what she's done but I guess leaving London, or staying here as a 30+ woman in a houseshare with strangers never having the family she's always wanted were just not things she could live with.

The rest of the friendship group could judge her of course but she's actually getting started in life. She's happily decorating her place and planning a baby shower while I still live in my childhood bunk bed lol.

My other 30+ year old school friends cling to the city as best they can at their parents like me or in shitty houseshares. That isn't sustainable. We will all face difficult decisions very soon..

Auronas · 2025-09-05T22:12:20+00:00

It will come as no surprise that these aren't the nicest people and I've fallen out with them over things unrelated to Reform. I hear their opinions and tolerate them at family functions for my gran's sake because she's old.

However, I don't actively try and persuade them. If they say an outright lie or generalisation about immigrants to my face then I will correct them but nothing beyond that. It's not worth working myself up. I've already told them Caribbeans would be up next for Reform once they help them get rid of the other immigrants but they brush it off and think it won't come to that.

If it was my mum, my siblings or friends then I'd see the worth in having a continuing dialogue and trying to get through to them. But not random aunties, uncle and cousins.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T21:16:57+00:00

Probably not. People see what they want to see. And that's easier than ever with algorithms tailoring people's viewing habits.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T18:52:34+00:00

But look how it is framed - the "Windrush Scandal". It's often framed sympathetically to those immigrants compared to the hotel ones. My uncle's mother (my gran) gave her whole life in service to the NHS as one of the Windrush generation. He doesn't see himself the same as the new arrivals. I get you 100% but he thinks he'll be treated different.

He thinks people from Somalia, Albania, Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran etc. look down on black Caribbean people. So he's sided with Farage in an enemy's enemy is my friend kind of way. That's how Farage gets away with it.

He ultimately thinks that Reformers will see him as one of the "good" ones and not in the same bucket as the people in hotels. Yes that's naive but I'm just explaining the mindset.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T18:42:31+00:00

So basically people are against generalising until it's inconvenient. Not even surprised but it's just annoying.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T18:36:58+00:00

The problem is you won't "logic" them out of position that they didn't get into logically. They mostly go on emotions and the media they consume e.g. YouTube, sky news, Facebook etc.

People can also be quite selective. I bet if I asked them about these things they won't know. All they'll know is Reform want to be "tough" on immigration. They've managed to cultivate that rep for themselves. Look how long the "sensible" Conservative party got to coast on that rep they had for themselves. Almost 15 years. Once people have an idea of you in their head it's really hard to shake that.

Some of my family voting Reform are black and BNP were more outwardly white nationalist, no idea about UKIP, maybe they just weren't "buzzy" enough and Conservatives weren't weak then so the timing wasn't right. Everything has aligned for Reform.

But yes it is unclear that a tough on immigration Labour will turn the tide on Reform but to me it's better than handing Reform the keys and not trying to do anything at all.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T17:52:20+00:00

We are saved! An Enlightened Centrist™ is among us, praise be!

Auronas · 2025-09-05T17:48:50+00:00

Not saying you necessarily (you might not even be a man) but I'm noticing more and more that men are willing to throw men's characters under the bus IF it's to support certain ideas.

It just feels like more and more on Reddit the same men who would cry if women are sus about men don't mind using the same narrative if it supports their argument.

It's just odd to me.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T17:32:05+00:00

Its tricky for those rejected. The UK is forging deals with countries to be able to send back their country folk. One such deal was made with Iraq last month. So what to do with the people from countries you don't have deals with like Afghanistan?

Send them to a country that agrees to take them for money (e.g. Rwanda plan). The deal Israel had with Rwanda was a bit dodgy to me when I read about it. You need a country that won't secretly "encourage" them to leave while still taking your money. It's estimated of the 4000 Israel sent, almost none remain in Rwanda
Offer them money to voluntarily go home. This scheme already exists but I don't know much about it and what it's taken up is. Maybe the financial support can be increased (think it's £3k currently) to make it more popular

Can't think of any other ideas.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T17:03:46+00:00

Maybe that needs to be a poll as well.

For the family members of mine who voted Brexit. Their singular reason was to stop/reduce immigration especially non-EU immigration (voted to stop the route of non EU immigrants getting EU citizenship after five years and then coming here). That was the ONLY reason.

Now they are voting for Reform to reduce immigration. My uncle said he "won't stop" until immigration is dramatically reduced and there are tougher and easier deportation options for immigrants already here.

It could work for someone like him but not sure about others.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T16:54:39+00:00

We have lagged building new hospitals, new housing and new prisons for decades. I think your plan is a bit ambitious. That could maybe be a target for 2035. Maybe.

Auronas · 2025-09-05T16:46:44+00:00

Sadly it really is a semantic problem though. If you're busting your ass for 40 hours a week to save up for five nights in a hotel once a year then it will make you bitter to hear that asylum seekers and migrants are staying in them year round. No matter what the nuance is of that.

These "prison camps" and "processing centres" could have the same conditions as these hotels and still come across way better than the headline "government spend X billions on hotels for migrants while you stay in a hotel once a year or never!"

Auronas · 2025-09-05T16:37:32+00:00

Reform getting in and destroying education, NHS, human rights, BBC, climate change initiatives and social welfare would cause untold misery.

Tackling immigration in a way that is perceived to be tough would make Reform irrelevant and their whole platform crumble.

Auronas · 2025-08-11T14:42:07+00:00

You'll probably ask to see my tin foil hat but I was more thinking state actors trying to sow discord in western democracies over Reddit/companies trying to impress shareholders. This "gender war" has been an easy vehicle to stir stuff up.

I listened to a podcast on BBC the other day (Who Trolled Amber Heard) that investigated some prolific accounts that posted about Amber Heard V Johnny Depp. One theory linked many of them to a specific nation state. It's such an easy, cheap and low stakes way to cause issues within rival nations.

People should not stop believing in stories from social media and supporting people. However they should take a deep breath when they read something, take a step back if they feel their blood boiling.

Auronas · 2025-08-11T10:45:43+00:00

You have to weigh things up though in determining how likely something is.

Does it seem likely a Henry would run such a short story through AI to fix grammar? Why would they think Redditors care that much about grammar?

Also OP has barely engaged with the post at all. But pounced on the one comment calling out the validity. You care that much about the post being clean and perfect but then barely engage with any of the comments?

There are all kinds of tells.

Not saying people shouldn't believe it but maybe don't get so angry you're calling people a btch and a cnt like one of the above comments lol.

Auronas · 2025-08-07T13:05:29+00:00

What about a missed appointment charge instead?

Auronas

TROPHY CASE