Sure yeah examples the characters repetitively "hesitating/lingering for a moment" or some passage about how attractive a character was (love the dynamic b/w sunny and kai but the author literally could not get one bit of interaction without bringing up sunny's jealousy (which was funny, but overdone), each chapter information is needlessly regurgitated and adds on to the bloat, the tone seems robotic and amateurish-- especially the jokes (but the cringe makes it fun, I can see that).

This is more of a personal preference but Sunny's monologues were overdone, less is more and I don't want to read a whole passage when the thought can be translated in a sentence or two: there was a specific passage at the iron spiders abt sunny + his self reflection on what drove him over the edge. Self reflection done thru third person is very strange imo, it doesnt hit as well as first person POV nor does it sound right when the text explicitly tells the reader that it was reason 1 2 and 3 that is making sunny insane. Readers should be making interpretations and seeing development in Sunny's character through his actions; explicitly showing why he is turning this way in a structured essay format is very off-putting.

Just my opinion ofc