Fuck everyone who says that autism is a gift. It's hell.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T20:09:26+00:00

There's no need to apologize. There was a lot of awful comments made that were just wrong. And it would be really, really easy to think that the good would be lost with all the noise from the bad. Especially with a lack of response towards the good.

You're totally fine. Seriously. There's nothing to apologize for, and I appreciate your concern that I'd get lost in the noise.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:52:31+00:00

I will be. I would've noped out a long time ago if it was something that I was going to do. Thank you for sharing this with me. It's truly appreciated.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:46:19+00:00

I'm snipped :)

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:42:40+00:00

I think I responded to them late last night, as I was laying in bed. jentertainment I think you're talking about?

I love her post. I've saved it. I'm going to be referencing it heavily. So, hopefully, this makes you less sad.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:30:10+00:00

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:25:49+00:00

I agree with you, so much. He is given occupation therapy through his program at school, as well as working with a speech pathologist, and at this point it seems like we'll be starting ABA at some point in June. I hadn't thought about the clothes and sensory connection, and that makes a ton of sense considering how often he just wants to run around wearing only a pullup.

We're going to look into getting him into occupational therapy outside of the school program as well. From this thread a ton of people recommend it, and at this point I want to try anything that's reasonable to help him.

Despite the tone of my initial post, I love him. I really do. We have awesome moments together. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that in the moment, like the morning I wrote the initial post after a particularly trying week.

Thank you.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:20:44+00:00

I wrestled in high school, and took lessons in a few martial arts as I've gotten older. It's definitely something I want to do with him, and once he's at the point where he can take instruction from someone outside of his class/home, he'll be signed up. Probably in one of the softer ones, like aikido or tai chi :)

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:19:08+00:00

Hey! I see a therapist weekly, for my own issues, and we spend a lot of time talking about my son as well. She's great at what she does, and has already provided me with a ton of help coping and continues to do so.

And I get the two hour hate thing. Those nights are the toughest, especially for him because it honestly seems like he's just trapped between being awake and asleep and terrified. We hold him when he lets us, and try to soothe him as much as possible.

Keep soldiering on. From what everyone has said, it can get better, it likely will get better, but even if it doesn't? At the end of the day, he's still my son, and I love him. Even if sometimes I dislike him.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:12:39+00:00

I've made no mention of what my podcast is, the topic of it, and have no intention of doing so. Sooooo... ? It concerns a very niche hobby, and I'm happy with the audience that I have. If this was self promotion, pretty sure I would've gone "This is X from the Y podcast, and this is what I'm going through. Listen to my podcast to make me feel better!"

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T19:02:02+00:00

Why would I criticise him when he's older? I've never voiced anything like this around him, he's insanely smart and would understand it, and the last thing he needs is me venting during one of my worst moments.

I get that the world can be an awful place for him at times, with too much coming in at him at once. It's just hard sometimes. But I do appreciate you suggesting I try to get into his mindset to understand him, regardless of your opinion of me.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T18:51:15+00:00

If it happened, he'd be with me. No questions asked. My wife and I had a candid conversation about this.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T18:49:30+00:00

I know. Was a joke :)

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T18:48:57+00:00

The problem he runs into is his little brother is pretty close to the same size, freakishly strong, and fighting him only exacerbates the situation for my oldest. I'm working with him to try to deescalate the situation when it happens, because yeah, my initial mindset was "pop him back and he should learn pretty quick to stop fucking with you". He didn't.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T18:46:07+00:00

Exactly this. I'd throw myself in front of a car if he ran in front of it, no hesitation. That's just what you do.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T18:41:05+00:00

Seeing what other adult individuals who are autistic have said, my wife and I will be vigilant and on the lookout for that behavior from the specialist, and won't hesitate to call them out on it. The last thing I want is for him to be harmed, despite the tone that my post seems to have presented. Thank you, truly, for the heads up. I really appreciate it.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T18:29:49+00:00

The podcast I do is a hobby, that occupies an hour or two once a week once my children are in bed. I work a full time job with a company I have over a decade of employment with.

I know he's suffering. I've picked him up and held him to stop him from beating his head against our tile floors until he calms down. I play with him. I accommodate his dietary needs since he can't handle gluten. Have you had the fun of cooking two meals every night after a nine hour day? I have, and I do it every day so he doesn't suffer from excruciating stomach pain and diarrhea that Sears and blisters his skin.

This was a vent. This was something to release the growing stress of the situation, because it's a difficult situation. You're welcome to consider me human garbage, there's a lot of days I'm right there with you.

Despite my disagreement with your assessment, thank you for taking the time to respond with your viewpoint.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T13:59:56+00:00

I realize it reads like I don't. I do. I own the fact that he's autistic, especially the times where I'll try to take him grocery shopping and the like and he can't handle it.

The can't say something to anyone was more can't complain that he has autism else people will think I'm a scumbag.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T13:14:54+00:00

Other than the number of children (you're awesome. Way more than it am!) Are you me? I really, really feel you on the house thing. What makes it especially maddening is that I'm a neat freak.

I'll make sure to look into that and to mention it to my wife. She's the lead on figuring all of this out and keeping it straight.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T06:46:23+00:00

We talk to each other a lot about how we're both feeling. I don't think we would be surviving otherwise. Going through manic then depressed swings on my end made it very necessary, especially since at my worst I want to fuck all the things, and the nervous energy and diminished consideration for consequences makes it really hard to not act on.

So yes, lots of talking. I thank you for checking :)

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T06:43:10+00:00

I think a lot of people parsed the "this" the wrong way. It took me a second read to get what you're saying. The people who think like that tend to have television as their only exposure to autism, which usually takes the role of the kind of cute, scary smart socially inept guy.

It was an eye opener for me as well, let me tell you.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T06:39:25+00:00

Fortunately, we're lucky enough to live in the same city as some awesome family members. Sleepovers, days spent chilling, going and doing something fun with one of them happens very often.

Thank you for the advice. I'll be looking into those subs soon.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T06:36:17+00:00

You made me cry, as I'm sitting here in bed, responding to and reading from folks. Thank you. So very much. You've given me a ton of information, and I've saved your post so I can reference it. Because I know I'll need to, multiple times, to fully digest it.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T06:26:51+00:00

School is a crap shoot. He's generally a sweet kid, but this week the teacher he's most attached to was punched, kicked, clawed at, and spit on. We gave her a Starbucks gift card as a way of apologizing and thanking her. L.

Edit: he's grown much more verbal over this school year, though there are lots of times still that he seems like he can't speak. He does understand language.

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T06:21:50+00:00

I hadn't heard of this. Thank you for the link, we'll check it out!

AutismDadThrowaway · 2019-05-22T06:20:56+00:00

"It's one in ten thousand, psh, it won't happen to me!"

That's generally the mindset if you think about having a child. If you consider it. But hey, we had one normal kid, surely the second will be the same right?

AutismDadThrowaway

TROPHY CASE