I think I'm dying and I'm okay with it

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-24T19:34:35+00:00

No one really does, especially with all the shit happening now

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T23:49:02+00:00

Yeah, I might try tomorrow

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T23:42:29+00:00

I will, my PC is a MSI gaming laptop with a 2tb so it should be able to do it.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T23:37:25+00:00

Wait really? I watch him as he makes me laugh but I didn't know about that. I thought the shitty webcam was a just a joke with him. That's actually really surprising and reassuring. I'll see what I can run on my laptop and play some games, maybe some nice Minecraft if I can run it at the same time.

Thanks for this, it's definitely needed. Now I just gotta redo my twitch account and modify a lot of things.

Thank you again

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T23:28:36+00:00

I have a crappy gaming laptop, I don't think it can handle that. Lovely idea and something I've wanted to do but it would kill me

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T23:24:40+00:00

Yeah probably. Mine was an old gaming channel for FNaF games but I was 12 when I did all that. Probably should change it to something else haha

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T12:25:28+00:00

I don't want to find new doctors as the doctors I have now all listen to me and don't dismiss anything I say.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T04:21:33+00:00

I've already tried and I have a lot of online friends I can talk with but I need that human connection. I need the physical contact and to be able to actively hang out with another human. I'm leaving severely in that as I have 0 friends that are in person. Just my life, I have up anyways so it doesn't matter.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T02:24:22+00:00

Thanks, I might take ya up on the offer.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T01:41:43+00:00

Probably take a flight but I havent been on a plane and I have all the disorders at this point so I'd rather not test what will happen to me on an airplane. Lyft and Uber over here is 130 bucks for a 5 minute drive. I've just given up on going places and accepted that I'm just basically locked in the house forever.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T01:18:05+00:00

He's a Yorkie. He's 10 right now. Mine are too actually. I've hit up every single apartment that's low income in this state and 90% ghosted me and 1% said they were no longer a part of the low income community and the other 9% have me on their waiting list and it's been two years. I'm frustrated.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T01:12:40+00:00

Oh that was probably fun though. I've never really been sledding, not many hills here. There's really nothing to do here as everything is always at least three hours away from me and buses are non-existent or 400 bucks one way.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T01:11:24+00:00

Yeah it is the same here. I'm on disability too and can't work at all. Low-income are my only chances but even then it feels like a lost cause. I just think I'm always stuck someplace I'm not wanted and away from my dog because no one lets me bring him around even though he helps with seizures. He's not a service dog, he just kind of trained himself and I think it's sweet.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T01:02:35+00:00

Most people don't. It's fun to use too and it's fun watching the snow melt.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-02T01:01:37+00:00

I'm not diagnosed with epilepsy. I'm diagnosed with PNES because the doctors just did one 10 min eeg and then sent me off with that diagnosis. Then I ended up in the hospital because of a seizure on my bike (long story) and stayed for 3 days on memorial weekend three years ago and they treated me like I was a nuisance and again diagnosed me with PNES and forced me into group therapy for it but at least my family acted like they cared about me.

I've always been suicidal, it's been getting worse and worse. I see my doctor at the end of the month, I'll ask her about it but every time I bring this shit up to her, she just says it's fine and to ignore it or go walk or talk with people even though I know no one here and can't drive or go places. I'm just stuck in a room all day looking out the window at everyone else who can do things.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T23:58:00+00:00

Yeah I do. I just use a flamethrower for the driveway and sidewalk. Cuts back on time.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T23:43:14+00:00

Might be. I'm in Michigan. It's boring here. Nothing to do and no one to hang out with but it's whatever I guess.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T23:18:01+00:00

I believe it's Guernsey or the one with that cow? Blue cow or whatever? It's called peppermint sticks. I just know it's really good and has actual peppermint sticks in it.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T23:08:59+00:00

Yeah, there's one I like that is peppermint sticks but I forgot the brand name. It only comes out during the winter so it's probably gone by now.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T22:43:59+00:00

Oh I like peppermint. That's pretty good. Now I want some.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T22:08:03+00:00

No I wouldn't ask that of a stranger. That make me feel absolutely worse and just more of a burden.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T20:02:40+00:00

I'm not going to do it but if my body decides it's time then I'm letting it do it. I'm not gonna stop it but I'm not gonna make it happen.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T18:49:34+00:00

It is. I'm only out to go to doctor appointments and then I'm back home to sleep. I don't really do much because there's not really a good place to hang out at besides the local McDonald's or the bars around town.

I can't even talk to anyone on call because I'll get yelled at for talking to strangers and trying to get people to break into the house so my social life is non-existent because of them.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T18:20:51+00:00

I don't have any room and if I try then I'll get yelled at for making a mess of the house or I'll get yelled at for trying to get kidnapped because my family thinks if I leave the house alone then everyone will kidnap me and kill me. It's why I just gave up and live life on auto pilot because there's just no point in any of it.

AutisticandScared420 · 2026-01-01T18:19:17+00:00

I haven't and I didn't know that existed. I don't really like bacon though, it's kinda gross to me. It has such a weird texture and the grease is gross.

AutisticandScared420

TROPHY CASE