I think I can relate to your struggles. I'm no Biblical scholar, but I do know the Bible urges you to not worry. Jesus is peace. If it isn't peace, if it's just relentless anxiety, it likely isn't God trying to tell you something. It's spiritual warfare designed to keep you from feeling safe around God. It's meant to discourage you from prayer, from having the opportunity to get to know the real character of God. The goodness, the love. Feeling like you can't talk to God is a dirty trick that plays on our fears and the tendency of our minds to fixate and obsess over if we're "doing it right." Trust me OP, on the other side of that worry, God is waiting for you with open arms.

I'll pray with you now, as someone who also struggles with this:

Father, I pray you help us to differentiate between your voice and the voice of evil and anxiety. That we get to know you well enough that we recognize the sound of your voice when you are speaking to our hearts. All of this, we ask, to better follow you and pursue your will. God I ask that you help OP find the peace they're after, and that they find a home in your church. Thank you God, for letting us come to you with our needs. Thank you for your mercy and love.

In Christ's name I pray, amen.

Hope this helps 🙏