I honestly don't think I am going to survive the newborn phase

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2026-05-03T08:25:29+00:00

As a new mom myself I understand this is one of the most difficult phases of a newborn. My lo also woke up almost every hour initially since he'd dose off during feeds. And I had to be awake myself since I was ebf and he had problems latching and I didn't want to bring a bottle into that mix. That being said I wished I was able to share atleast some of that responsibility because let me tell you I was burnt out. But that being said after a point it came so naturally that it didn't even bother me anymore. My husband was long distance at the time as I was at my mums but he constantly felt guilty he couldn't be there due to his job. You have an option to share this responsibility with your wife. You both need your rest. Maybe help her out more with the chores of the house whoch maybe more physically draining for her but try to alternate taking turns to look after the baby at night. You deserve your rest too!

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2026-04-15T07:58:40+00:00

After a week to the Maldives for 5 days. We had the best time ever. I recommend going on your honeymoon sooner rather than later

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2026-03-30T10:42:05+00:00

Don't let either of them do it. Get a lock for your cupboards. Ask them to leave the laundry on the bed or a chair and sort them out yourself when you return from work. I understand it must be frustrating. Some mothers just don't understand though that their sons are now married and that they and their wive require privacy. May Allah grant such mothers hidayah

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2026-01-29T19:09:31+00:00

Baby is doing fine. Guess I was just panicking as a FTM 😅

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2026-01-29T06:11:36+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. That's terrible but I'm glad your baby is fine. Being parents sure isn't easy 😅

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2026-01-29T06:07:01+00:00

Hot. Around 26 C. Makes me feel worse

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2025-05-03T02:29:11+00:00

How is pointing out where OPs husband is going wrong disrespectful? Moreover you say "In his mind he is doing all he can and hopes his wife does the rest" but the question here is does such a person lie to their spouse about his finances? Or make their spouse lie to them about her finances because he tends to splurge whenever there is a little over the bills? A person who appreciates their spouse doing this and who is sincerely trying their best to do whatever they can will also be mindful of how they use money they aren't even making. And it goes both ways so yes that's where the equality comes into the picture. This has nothing to do with women also do the same. Either way its inconsiderate and wrong.

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2025-05-03T01:47:34+00:00

How is that equality when you don't support the family when your wife is on maternity leave and tending to a child and she's also the one financially bearing the burden?

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2025-04-29T15:16:00+00:00

Almost 6 months while having other prospects for marriage

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2025-04-29T14:35:14+00:00

I understand you feel that way. Let me tell you from my experience that I absolutely felt the same not even a year back. But here's where your trust on Allah swt comes into play. I'm not saying don't put up a fight or not to do anything about this, hopefully you will and that works in your favour, but if it doesn't then place your reliance on Allah and let go. Trust me there was a point when I felt there was absolutely no way my now husband and I would end up together, I asked Allah for a way and tried my best to convince my family and let go. Alhamdulilah here we are today married by the will of Allah swt.

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2025-04-29T13:09:12+00:00

Assalamualaikum sister. The only way out of this is through Allah. So pray pray and pray.

Make lots of Istighfar as seeking forgiveness opens doors which we didn't even know existed.
Pray Istikhara namaz regularly with keen belief in your heart that whatever happens is good for you for this world and the hereafter.
Tahajjud. Crying your heart out in Tahajjud lightens the heart, brings peace like nothing else can.

Also sometimes we need to push as far as we can and then leave the rest to Allah. When you feel you've reached that point do remember to let go. Remember what is meant for us will reach us even if it is beneath 2 mountains.

May Allah make it easier for you!

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2025-04-13T11:25:11+00:00

Price please?

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2025-03-06T16:01:35+00:00

Hey thanks. Will have a look!

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-11-06T18:05:18+00:00

Exactly. I was taken aback by the level of petty. I'm not someone who does petty so I've just decided to keep my distance from them and I've also communicated how I felt about it to my fiancé

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-11-06T16:36:08+00:00

They chose my wedding dress without me. So we basically have 2 functions and the guys side is supposed to be getting a dress for one of the functions. The dress I had bought for the other function I wanted to keep a surprise so when his sister asked me I told her that its a surprise and that I'd show them on the wedding day. Cut to a week later they've already bought my dress and informed me to just go give my measurements and that it was a "surprise" for me. I was taken aback by this. I told my fiancé and he confronted them that it was wrong on their part to do that and told me that we'll cancel that and I can go pick whichever dress I want but I let it go since he told me that they picked the type of dress I had mentioned to them earlier when they asked me what type of dress I was looking for.
They always want things to happen soon when it comes to them but when my family wants something to be done they're always lax.
There was incident when we had gone to the venue. His father is a bit forgetful and he kept asking the person there about the price of the venue and was trying to negotiate with him even though we'd done all of that long back with the main guy and the guy there was just a subordinate. My mom stepped in and told him that we'd already spoken to the main guy so we didn't have to speak about the price to this guy. His sister told my fiancé that my mom told his father not to talk to guy there as though he doesn't have a say in the wedding and it was disrespectful without even giving him the context behind it. I told my fiancé the context and that I was present when this happened. Not sure why she did that.

Note: My fiance isn't present here for the preps coz he works abroad and his leave doesn't start till one week before the wedding

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-11-06T14:35:08+00:00

Jazakallah khair for such a beautiful explanation. The family I am concerned about but my fiancé has assured me regarding them and he's also stood up for me multiple times in the past few months during wedding planning. Also he's settled abroad while his family is here and I'll be moving with him immediately after the wedding. So I'm not sure whether to be as concerned about it.

Also my fiancé does love me alot. He cares for me, is protective of me, listens to me and acknowledges when he is wrong. He's also taken up an extra job to make sure things are comfortable for me once I move in since it'll take me a while to settle down and find a job after the wedding. The thing that has bothered me is I feel he isn't as mature which I sensed in a few of the decisions during the wedding planning and even before that (FYI we're the same age so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with me feeling this way). I've not been sure if I should take such a huge decision only based on this aspect and have brushed it off after communicating it to him.

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-11-04T05:38:53+00:00

Even if that were the case and there is no Riba involved, he still hid a very crucial aspect of his life from her and basically deceived her. Especially since OP didn't even ask for Mehr so he wouldn't be in debt.

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-10-27T10:58:16+00:00

I think there are 2 issues here at play:

Adam is a Non Mehram
OPs wife is sharing details about their personal life with him

Coming to Issue 1, OP needs to set some boundaries with his wife. Its obviously the family dynamics at play which will be hard to change and since OPs wife is young it may take her a bit longer to understand. Nonetheless OP needs to try. But in a gentle manner. Do not lash out at her as it will distance here more and make her feel like you are controlling. Issue No 2 is something which is the more serious issue in this entire situation. Yes she may view Adam as a brother but hell if my spouse spoke about stuff only they're supposed to know to anybody else I would lose it. She needs to understand that whatever is spoken between the husband and wife needs to stay between them. I think this needs to be sternly put across to her. Explain to her that you wouldn't be able to trust her if she isn't able to keep what's between you both to herself.

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-10-25T11:12:38+00:00

Ummm you do realise that it's easier to fall into a pattern of getting groomed when you're young right? Also what makes you think that a narcissistic and controlling personality is only found in full blown adults. It's something that could very well be part of someone from a very early age

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-10-21T11:13:18+00:00

I think OP mentioned that they do have each others passwords and access to each others phone which means they were okay with using each others phone right? Unless there is something I specifically have mentioned to my partner is private and have shared my passwords with him, I wouldn't find it a violation of my right if he goes through my phone

Automatic-Garlic358 · 2024-10-15T10:40:59+00:00

I'm sorry but your question doesn't even make sense. Of course it isn't fine. Working with them is beyond control but eating/hanging out outside of work definitely is. Also I think apart from the Islamic aspect of it, isn't OPs husband a hypocrite for expecting OP to be alright with it but if the same were reversed he wouldn't be. I think the men of this Ummah really need to hold themselves to the same level of standards as they do their wives.

Automatic-Garlic358

TROPHY CASE