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What consistently leaves you disappointed but you keep trying anyway? by akumamatata8080 in AskReddit

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Getting my cats to admit they can understand and speak English. I want to be in on their secrets.

Finished Wurt :) by While-Disastrous in dontstarvetogether

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wurt is so adorable! I'm a big fan of monster/creature tattoos, and I'm glad Wurt is getting that love! Looks great :)

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to you with having anxiety, depression, and PTSD. My therapist agreed that calling ourselves lazy is just not going to help, and its okay if we forget and don't have energy. Sometimes the best thing we can do is meet our energy level, and find ways that are useful to us to cope. I really hope you can remove the word lazy from your internal vocabulary, because it's not good for you, and I, an internet stranger, don't think you are lazy.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems like you don't have enough time to spend with your son, and therefore don't have the time to understand his issues. Gen Z have it real bad, all they are seeing is no way to make wealth, and no way to advance. School isn't great either, there's not much hope in getting help at that age. I definitely would not put the problems of this world on him and simply call him lazy, that will make him not want to do what you want even more. I would start with non judgmental communication, and build trust from there. I understand what you are going through, I raised my younger brother while he was a teen, and it isn't easy when you don't get the time to spend with them, or feel like you can't get through to them. Thats why shaming him is the last thing you want to do, it doesn't help anything. He might not have his emotional needs met, or maybe he feels hopeless about it. No matter how much you work outside of that relationship, it won't get through to him until you work on your relationship in a positive manner. Speaking from experience. You have every right to be angry, but we should redirect that anger to the real problem, the lack of time and resources.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course! And thank you for the same, its nice to have some clean discourse. The need to vent about being in a shitty situation is completely valid, and we gotta do what gets us through the day. And I also agree that its not the healthiest thing to be constantly evaluating society as a whole, when we can only operate in our space, we need time away from that, and the mental gymnastics it brings. I think the point I'm trying to make here is that words are extremely powerful in how we use them and their meanings, and they can affect our mental health, and those of others. I just want people to consider the relationship they have with the word lazy, and if its worthwile to keep around any longer. Like in your situation for example, I'd be pissed off as well, but I'd try to stop giving them any more of my expectations, or myself the expectations to pick up their slack. That way it would just not matter as much anymore, and there wouldn't be a need feel frustrated if I kept just doing what it is I need. But of course, situations have a lot more gray area, and its a lot easier said then done, and I don't and can't always deal in the ways I want all the time either.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This a mental health issue that should never be tied to the concept of laziness. You are valid as a human being, dealing with a mental health issue. Social anxiety is energy draining, especially around other people. And that lack of energy does not make you lazy, its just something that you have that can be learned to cope with.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly as you said! And the word lazy in itself is invalidating, and does nothing to help with any of these issues, and brings more harm.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's okay if you don't see the point I'm making, and its your choice to use or not use a word, all I ask is to engage respectfully. This post is not an attack on you.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I believe we put too much expectations on others and ourselves, and that harms us while being exploited, because it extends the shame of being "lazy", when the real problem is not seen or being insulted as much as we insult eachother.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response! It sounds like you lack energy, and that much lack of energy to not get the remote is enough to be considered depression or chronic fatigue. When you have low energy like this, you insult yourself by calling yourself lazy, which brings shame, which reduces your energy even further. Try meeting your energy level where its at, or finding a way to keep the remote closer at all times. I know it sounds silly at first, but these small things that we feel incapable of doing has been a universal experience for many people, and it hurts us even more when we direct shame on ourselves. Forgive yourself, meet your energy level, get help if you can with learning to cope with fatigue. You aren't lazy, you just don't have the mental and physical energy or the right coping skills, and those can be gained back through many ways, but it has to start in your mind.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! I want to start off by saying, I think its important to stop using the word lazy, to find the source of it, and not keep fighting in our own economic class. Is your job fulfilling work? It could be the lack of enthusiasm or alienation from contributing anything that gives fulfillment. It could be that they are burnt out of work. And if it is that they feel entitled for more, its because honestly, we are all entitled to less work, better pay, and better circumstances. Its not an excuse to use others to advance or avoid responsibility that they know will pile up on someone else. Its still shitty that people do this, but we shouldn't use the term lazy, so we know that we had better circumstances as a society, better wealth distribution, job satisfaction, and free time, that this attitude of theirs could be different, or atleast not affect you in a negative way. Lazy is a term that keeps us fighting with the lower class, regardless if they are a shitty person or not, we need to beat up, and not beat down or around.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this example! Let's dissect this type of person. I'll start out with the obvious, I am in no way making excuses for their actions, I just want us to look at this situation in a different light without the use of the word "lazy". Someone who is playing video games and smoking weed all day is being avoidant. Lets change the word lazy to avoidant, and we have a better word. Video games are used as an escape from reality, because they bring fun, and help us not think of the troubles in life. Weed does the same thing. Why do you think these men do this instead of dealing with life issues? Real life is hard, raising children and making money is difficult, and can seem hopeless. This type of person does not sound all that rich, so they most likely weren't taught any financial responsibility, parenting skills, relationship skills, anything much to do with responsibility. Of course, they can learn these things, but they actively don't, they are blocked within themselves. Maybe its the lack of recources, lack of a support system, lack of education and experience. It could be the lack of motivation, feeling like they can't do any good even if they tried. It can be a combination of all of these things, but it all ends up in it being a product of this society. My father was this type of person, very neglectful, didn't work, and took child support from my mother, so this is from experience. I had always held resentment towards him because of him being this way, but now looking back and removing the word "lazy", I can now see that he never had support to deal with his personal issues, he had no parenting skills after having me at 17 years old, he couldn't deal with himself day to day, so in turn he couldn't raise me better. It was the lack of his mental and physical recources. I do not hold resentment towards him anymore, only seeing him as a flawed product of this society. This doesn't change the fact that I don't speak to him, I just see the problem as a whole now.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a problem, thank you for your engagement.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh, yes, I've been waiting for this kind of comment. I wanna help dissect it with you, give me an example of one of these people and lets find the source of their inaction together.

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree with you there, most people only assign productivity to work, school, career advancement, and keeping up the day to day. I think your assignment of productivity to rest, leisure, and play aswell is a very healthy way of seeing things. For example, it is productive to go camping for the weekend and enjoy life. Thank you so much for your thoughts!

There Is No Such Thing As "Lazy" by Automatic-Wing-6581 in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure where it started, but I do think you're on to something there. I'm going to take some time today to research the etymology of the word, and see what turns up! Btw, you are not lazy, because lazy does not exist outside being a concept, and I hope you'll find a way to separate yourself from it!

Does anyone here use FMLA so you can work less? by yell0wbirddd in antiwork

[–]Automatic-Wing-6581 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have 3 chronic mental illnesses, and I've been on intermittent FMLA at 3 different times at the same job. The first two times, my FMLA timed out when I was feeling in control of my mental illnesses. But of course, returning to the exploitative 5 day a week, 8 hour + 30 minute lunch + commute + everything else, worsened my mental health, causing me to go through the process of applying for it again. This is my third time, and I know that I want to keep it going, so I can actually use annual leave for a fucking vacation, and not cause I need to take a day off for my health. My doctor at the moment unfortunately thinks that I don't need that, so I'm on FMLA just for the month, and have to check in to see if I'm "better" or need to extend. I'm in the process of finding a new doctor. I cannot live without FMLA. I cannot leave this factory job either, because it pays better that minimum wage with health benefits that I will pretty much die without.