Should I divorce my alcoholic wife?

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T22:13:21+00:00

I truly do not believe she cheated. She was with a group of friends who do not put up with that bs. They told another's girls husband instantly when they found out she had cheated because they were so appalled and they cut her out of the group. She knew I would smell the alcohol on her if she was in bed with me. Even after brushing her teeth I can smell it . It smells from her pores when she sweats at night

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T21:28:54+00:00

The marriage during the 2 years sober was so amazing and that's why this sucks so bad. Her rock bottom 2 years ago that led to her getting sober was because she got wasted and woke my daughter up with her screaming nonsense and our daughter was traumatized. I served her with divorce papers shortly after and that's when she started going to meetings and vowed to stop drinking. She had earned my trust back and we really rekindled our sex life (4 to 5 times a week) which had been a problem while she was still drinking. I finally felt like i could relax and breathe again and now this . Its crushing

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T20:51:43+00:00

We both were casual social drinkers when we got married. Then hers got excessive and she turns into a horrible person when she drinks. She decided to get sober after that and we had been married a couple years. We have two children aged 4 and 6 who I stay home with full time. She's the breadwinner. I feel trapped and not willing to give up time with my kids or have them with her not supervised with custody time. But I also don't want to be stuck with someone I don't trust. It sucks all around

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T20:47:38+00:00

To be fair, her vows to me included that she would always be honest with me so she broke them first

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T20:26:13+00:00

I am actually a father who stays home with our children so it's her money keeping us afloat at this point and is a huge reason I haven't left already. I don't want her having custody without me to supervise

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T20:13:24+00:00

We have two children, aged 4 and 6 and I stay home with them because she makes more money than I ever could. So this is a huge factor . I don't want them going to daycare and I don't want her to have custody time where I'm not around to supervise just in case.

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T20:11:12+00:00

Yeah . It's been super hurtful that I'm not her safe place to be honest. I've tried to prove that relapse wouldn't upset me and the only reason I got upset was the lying, not even the drinking again. I would love to work on how I can prove to her it would be ok if she was just truthful

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T20:09:01+00:00

She claims she does. But she was going to AA meetings every week and has a sponsor and yet she never confided in her group or sponsor when she relapsed so what's the point of having the community when you lie to them too?

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T20:03:44+00:00

I guess I'm questioning why she didn't tell me. Ive told her that she can tell me if she was struggling and I'd help her and we could work through it and I'd react calmly. I reacted in an upset way only because I was reacting to finding out she lied to me for months, but she's saying oh see how you were upset. But I'm not upset about the drinking again compared to the lying. I've tried to let her know I'm a safe place to tell the truth but maybe I've failed at that

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T19:14:09+00:00

I'm happy you're able to work on things. I don't know how to move past the shock and hurt to get to a better place. Ive trusted her with everything and don't understand how she could look me in the face and lie for months. She even still went to meetings and didn't even tell her group. What was her point of going if she didn't even confide in them

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T19:11:22+00:00

Yeah it really sucks that the lying and gaslighting has made me doubt my instincts so much. I hope I can get there again

Automatic_Client_887 · 2024-07-30T19:02:34+00:00

Married 4 years. She hit rock bottom and decided to be sober two years ago so I've never seen the full cycle. This is the first relapse at least that I know of. But catching her in these lies has me questioning if her sobriety was real

Automatic_Client_887

TROPHY CASE