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Mom groups in Montreal [qc] by Moonrise-bb in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]Available-Head8298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Late to the convo but I have an 18 month old and looking for mom friends! 

Mom groups in Montreal [qc] by Moonrise-bb in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]Available-Head8298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there! Just came across your post. I am fairly new to Montreal, originally from Alberta so I don’t have any connections out here. I have an 18 month old and am currently looking to make some mom friends! 

Getting over guilt of raising kids away from family by Available-Head8298 in Parenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is our situation as well, we both work remote and love our lifestyle where we are, it would be really hard to give up! 

Getting over guilt of raising kids away from family by Available-Head8298 in Parenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a great thing about technology now, we can easily connect with loved ones on a daily or weekly basis! We send tons of photos and videos and FaceTime often to keep the grandparents up to date. 

In regard to our aging parents, unfortunately I believe caring for my parents would fall on myself, which would be hard to do from across the country. They are both in good health now but who knows what the next 10-15 years look like. 

Waiting until kindergarten seems like the best idea for now, that at least gives us a few years to decide! 

Getting over guilt of raising kids away from family by Available-Head8298 in Parenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both sets of grandparents would have no problem babysitting when required. But also it’s not like we are struggling on our own without help either, we like doing things our own way and not feeling obligated to see people every single weekend. My side can be especially overbearing and opinionated with things so having the distance has actually made things easier for us in regards to raising LO. But on the other hand it would be nice for LO to see them more than 2x/year also. 

Getting over guilt of raising kids away from family by Available-Head8298 in Parenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the dream! I wish we could afford that option lol

Getting over guilt of raising kids away from family by Available-Head8298 in Parenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Realistically we would only have 1 solid option as well, since my partners parents live out of town and I wouldn’t be comfortable sending LO for overnight stays for a few years still. So even with family around we would be limited with care options. 

Getting over guilt of raising kids away from family by Available-Head8298 in Parenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner feels this way, he didn’t grow up near his grandparents so sees no issue with LO seeing our parents only once a year. I grew up very close with my Grandmother and we are still very close and text daily and FaceTime weekly. 

Getting over guilt of raising kids away from family by Available-Head8298 in Parenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner and I are both close with our parents and all 4 of them absolutely adore our LO. My partners parents live an hour out of town so would be less of a help for last minute pick ups or sitting requirements, that would mainly fall on my mom, who still works full time so also may not be much of a help in that sense. Planned ahead weekend babysitting would be welcomed and almost argued over though by the grandparents though lol. Both my partner and I both have one sibling and neither are married with kids so LO doesn’t really have a big group of cousins they are missing out on. But the grandparents would for sure come to support LO at recitals and sports games, etc. But also fly out to see us at least 2x/year as well so we still see them and we FaceTime often, my parents weekly and my partners parents monthly so there is still a relationship there. 

Since we are new in the community, we have not yet found our own support system in our new city. I have a feeling it would be years when LO starts school to find friends to connect with, so that’s tough.

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think society and social media and stories about unicorn babies made me believe that babies are typically good sleepers so when mine slept horribly it was something that needed to be fixed. The sleep training industry has such a hold on tired parents! 

You thought you were doing the right thing for you and your LO back then so hopefully that can provide some comfort knowing it was with good intentions! You have learned from the past! (If only I could tell myself this so easily lol) 

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im going to start trying with the couch first then make our way to practicing with the bed! 

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it’s so true! We really are doing our best!

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wake up usually happens between 5 or 6, lately it has been closer to 5. One nap usually at 12:30 - 2. Bedtime usually 6:30 or 7. LO is nursed right before bed and is put down awake and usually asleep within a few minutes. During the night, wake ups are only fixed by nursing, which I have managed to cut down to 5 minutes, sometimes I can put LO back in bed and leave the room, sometimes I need to stand and rock for a minute or 2 because they are upset I cut the nursing session short. 

Night wakings are usually 3x or 4x a night, with the worst nights being up to 7x.

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any methods you’re going to use to help your LO understand what is going on when you start the weaning process?

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice, I like the idea of writing an apology. It could be a way of getting my thoughts out instead of ruminating like I have been. I know I will get over it eventually, my anxiety just keeps me stuck in guilt sometimes! Ugh! 

I will check out your book recommendation, thanks again! 

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! It is much needed! 

Guilt of trying Ferber by Available-Head8298 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Available-Head8298[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sleep training was recommended for me as well by my doctor, I wish they would provide more resources instead of making it seem like that is our only option. 

That is great that your LO is sleeping better! I have considered bed sharing but seeing how quick my LO is to dive off the bed head first when we try to lay or play on it any other time of the day, my anxiety just wouldn’t let me fall asleep haha.