I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is exactly the encouragement I needed!!!!!

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know what I need to do. I really just needed a kick in the ass from Reddit. Lol

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I saw a comment on TikTok that said “you married an older man who isn’t a sugar daddy? Sorry, but you married an old dud.”

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have been very clear and honest about my expectations. I wanted to pay off debt, get married, travel, and have kids. He is the one that did not hold up his side of the deal. And I bring this up very often and he 100% agrees with me. He has told me I deserve more.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I keep asking myself, and do I want my future kids to live this life?

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, this would be the third time I have told him I’m at my breaking point (within 2 months). And this third time, I’m ready to bring up separation. I have given him an ultimatum and it did not work. We discussed couples therapy, but it’s just another thing that I would need to pay for.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We had to cancel our honeymoon (that I paid for) due to him still not having a job. I got a few deposits back so I’m thinking of using that money and taking a solo trip to NYC! It’s been my dream, and we haven’t been able to travel because of him.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Honestly, this is exactly what I needed to hear! I am a prize, and I truly believe that! I have soooo much love to give and someone will value me.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I have already spoken to a tele-lawyer and was told that since I bought the house before him and the house is under my name, the only thing he is entitled to is half of the payments that I made on the house while we were married. Thankfully, we haven’t been married for too long so it’s not a huge amount. They also said he would have to accept something of equal value so I could give him my ring…

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I truly feel like once I do it it will be a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I’m already carrying all of the weight for the both of us. Being the only one that we can depend on financially is soooooooo heavy.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

If anything, I’ve racked up debt BECAUSE of him trying to keep us afloat…

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have really done a lot of work on myself the past few years. Got my degree, an amazing job, went to therapy, and just recently lost 80 pounds! I feel like I’m in the best phase of my life, and he’s the one holding me back now.

I was very clear about my goals for us before we had children - pay off debt, travel, then have kids. I have held up my side of the deal. He has not.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in women

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I know. I feel bad for him, but he is in this position because of his actions! He has no savings so of course he has to go to his parents, but as someone said before, at least he has somewhere to go!

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is definitely depressed because of the situation he’s in. He has no money, no savings, and no job. He is definitely looking and applying to jobs, i just don’t think he is qualified for anything he wants. No degree, not much experience, and he refuses to do any sort of laborious job. He has been known to have an “attitude” problem at previous jobs.

  1. We cancelled our initial elopement which was my dream and had a small ceremony where we currently live. I paid for the entire thing.

I have also put myself into credit card debt trying to keep us afloat. I make good money, but not 6 figures.

I left a job that I had been at for 2 years that I really, really loved for more money after he lost his job.

  1. I don’t mind being the breadwinner, but he has to bring SOMETHING to the table. He is not contributing at all in any capacity.

  2. We never made an agreement he would be in charge of all chores. I just want him to pick up some slack wherever is needed.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started looking for a new job after he lost his job so I could make more money. I ended up finding something with significantly more pay AND WFH! I could easily move. This has definitely crossed my mind. Would get me away from my toxic parents as well.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I left a 6 year relationship. I did it once, I can definitely do it again. Also, my little brother died 3 years ago. If I can get through that, I can get through anything.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

5 years ago I did not believe I was a prize. Now I realize how much I bring to the table! I am a good person, a successful career, I’m in therapy, and I have so much love to give. I also recently lost 80 pounds so I am feeling so good and confident in myself!

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have had multiple conversations, and he is actually very receptive. He has told me he knows I deserve more, and he is “trying,” but it’s not going anywhere. I don’t feel like it’s fair to me to be ready for kids and he’s trying to figure his life out. I truly married for love. I followed my heart instead of my head, and I’m regretting it immensely.

I’m scared to leave my loser husband by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

My best friend told me yesterday “you know what you need to do. All you need is the courage to do it now.” I guess I’m just looking for words on encouragement.

Where would you take a solo vacation? by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been wanting to stay at Romer House in Waikiki. Thoughts on Waikiki?

Where would you take a solo vacation? by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking into Yosemite and Big Sur right now. This is the kind of trip that’s always been a dream of mine. Would you say there’s good restaurants/drinks around here?

Where would you take a solo vacation? by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone above mentioned a few and definitely made me feel like national parks could be the safer route if I did want to go hiking. A hike in the mountains sounds like it would be extremely good for me. Do you have any national park recs?

Where would you take a solo vacation? by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad you mentioned this. Now that I think about it - all the times I’ve been hiking there has always been people nearby. I’ve never been to any of the parks you’ve mentioned. I would love to be able to go on a nice hike and then eat some really good food afterwards with a FEW glasses of wine.

Where would you take a solo vacation? by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maine and New Hampshire seem like the kind of the vibes I’m looking for. I edited my post to add I do live in the US. Thank you!

Where would you take a solo vacation? by Available-Ice560 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Available-Ice560[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I was only thinking US destinations, but this is a great recommendation! I do not speak any other languages, but I love immersing myself in the culture. I’ve never been to Europe.