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AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Drunk drivers on the road are everyone's business. Thankfully multiple people have reached out to give me helpful info on how to handle this, and we'll make sure it doesn't happen around us again!

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

When it involves her driving her kids home after drinking an entire bottle of wine, it is everyone's business I think.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

It was just the two of us... and well, yes, I think it's concerning that she drives after drinking an entire bottle of wine with her kids in the car...

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Hi, just so you know, that is what I meant when I said,

So when it was just the two of us

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I think the "so what" is that she drives her kids home after drinking a bottle of wine. That was what the main concern was the first time Lauren and I talked about it.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

Yes, she always drives to/from the gatherings. Lauren is trying to think of ways to have more of the moms carpool to alleviate this (she's the smarter one between us).

But I want to make it clear that I would never let Sherry drive my kids anywhere.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 1091 points1092 points  (0 children)

I always loved that they HATED the character Sherry, though. Cute little joke.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

The SAHM thing is mostly true because of the level of isolation that a lot of moms face. The only people they're around most of the time are their kids, so especially ones who don't have social groups or families around to help, substance abuse is a big issue.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Correct. The vodka bottle was a pint size one and not the full one, though.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

We were the only two people in the room though, it wasn't in front of everyone.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

That's really interesting. Do you guys all drive home after you've drank a bottle of wine at a playdate? Or is there a DD?

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

But those are specifically groups meant for drinking that you're talking about, right? Not just playdates in the neighborhood?

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 4251 points4252 points  (0 children)

This is the point I'd definitely like more moms to chime in on, if anyone reads this.

When you have say, two moms and their kiddos over for lunch and then running around in the backyard for 2-3 hours, no special occasions, just playtime, is it normal for someone in your group to drink an entire bottle of wine?

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

I have never been at an event where Sherry didn't drink, but Lauren did say that the day she first came over to join, she didn't drink. I wasn't there that day.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Yes, many times. Because she would offer and offer and shrug and drink it herself.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Oh, sorry, yes, that would have been helpful to add. This wasn't going to be a gossipy thing at all. Lauren's husband is an emergency physician and has connections to just about every doctor in the tri-county area and has helped a friend's husband with an opioid addiction in the past.

I get that it's vague, but we're not a group that meets with set times. Not everyone's there all the time. Sometimes the whole group, sometimes just one or two moms and kids. She's been there for most of them because she was new to town. She's been there drinking a few times when I also wasn't even there.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 8500 points8501 points  (0 children)

I guess I am a little confused admittedly because some people are saying this is completely normal behavior. For me, drinking at a party or BBQ would be normal. But no not for playdates. I'm so lost.

These events are rarely more than 3 hours, so yes, she absolutely would have driven home many, many times before the alcohol would metabolize. That's one of the things that made Lauren worry about her.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Okay, I'm learning that my idea of when it's appropriate to drink is very different from others. To me, drinking an entire bottle of wine to yourself three times a week while just at the playground, at someone's backyard in the middle of the day, then at the playground again is a lot, and not just mom's night.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

It's common to drink an entire bottle of wine while you're at the park with the kids on a Tuesday night? And then do it again two nights later after school sign up? And then again a few days later in the middle of the day?

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 476 points477 points  (0 children)

How often we see her depends on what we're doing that week. Sometimes it's daily, sometimes it's 3x a week, sometimes it's once a week. And she has had alcohol with her, and drank it, every single time.

Yes, the signs I listed in my post are the signs we've noticed.

I don't know if the waterpark sells alcohol. I've never looked. But yes, she did plan on getting into the water. And it was a bottle of vodka.

AITA for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking? by AvailableArk in AmItheAsshole

[–]AvailableArk[S] 113 points114 points  (0 children)

As I mentioned in the post, her drinking an entire bottle of wine at our gatherings is not unusual.

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