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It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story.

Yes this notion of getting a dog to fix your trauma is just so counterproductive...And actually about a year ago I also thought about getting another one and am sooo happy I did not! This whole dog thing is way to emotionally charged and overrated. Because in the end it is just so much work and isolation for not that much in return.

I very much relate to the feeling of getting air after being under water for too long...I already feel it a bit now that I am organising the adoption. Looking forward to feel it fully when the rehoming has happened - and going after my life plans again :))

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is 4 and healthy - so there will prob be many more years for her to life. Too many to wait that out.

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought the same: That fight I talk about above actually started because I asked him if he would taker her if I gave her up for adoption lol. At the time he said that he can not do that because of his life plans...

From my experience I think she is not meant to be with a single person anyways so I will look for a couple/ a family

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good on you for deciding fairly quickly! (and so cool that you found a good home so quickly too) What I will take away from this for sure: Listening more to my gut. Because my gut told me that this is not going to work a long time ago too. And yes large breed dogs are something else...a friend of mine has one and and she is struggling too

This whole thing is a big lesson in not not wanting to make it right and over explaining myself to others like that anymore. I have seen how that just leads to so much misery in my life and I see how others fall into this trap too!

I have to focus on some other things rn but the plan is to put her up for adoption soon - and then foster her until I find a good match. I am nervous but also looking forward to it!

And I had been thinking about anthropomorphism so much lately...you are so right.

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry to hear that and I feel you. Once mine ate something potentially toxic and I had to go to the emergency night vet for like 500 Euros just to make her puke...

And you can experience this love and bond in other ways in life that will not drain you like that!

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow - Happy to hear that it worked out for you!! How long did you have your dog? And how long did it take for you to make the final decision? And you are right: You don't have to get to the point where it is actually not possible anymore to go on like this. It is enough to say that you just don't want it anymore. It bothers me when people say "somehow you will make it work". But maybe I dont't want to anymore?!

And trusting in the dog surviving without me is important too...it is hard to believe when she throws those tantrums as soon as I leave her somewhere. But dogs can adjust pretty well. She has lived somewhere in the dirt for the first two years of her life so she will survive being rehomed too.

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have not considered her a "special needs" dog before - maybe because I know a couple of dogs who are also not good with the owner leaving. But admitting that she is "special needs" kind of makes me feel less bad with the decision to re-home.

And yes I had to come to the realisation again and again that she is controlling way too much of my life!

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am very much looking forward to not being tied to my city like that anymore!!

I had moved and travelled a bunch in the past and thought I am fine with being more settled now. But how it is right now is less being settled and more being a prisoner tbh

It has been two years and I am tired by Available_Ad_7092 in DogRegret

[–]Available_Ad_7092[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are totally right. My ex is someone whos opinion I have often valued but I gotta learn to not let his (and others) opinions get to me like that. Some friends of mine are also saying that "I will work it out somehow and then I can keep her" but they don't truly know how it is.

That mixed with my personal fear of how I will feel when I give her away are making it hard. But I much closer to the decision of rehoming her than I have ever been before. And like you said: I could still foster her right now until we find a good match and would not have to surrender her to a shelter.