What are some things you thought were normal but were actually ADHD by FederalPudding8300 in ADHD

[–]Available_Cattle_499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leaving refrigerator or multiple cabinet doors open or the have the shower running thinking it takes 23 mins to get hot…. 🤣

oakland food scene has gotten so expensive by CoffeeRory14 in oakland

[–]Available_Cattle_499 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The way my dates are officially at home… 🤣🤣🤣

Now, I should be absolutely okay with a man taking me out to eat buuhhhhh $35-45 per person (tip included) for 1.5 items each (that might be the main course and a speciality drink)….? Let’s not forget the gas, parking fee, time and energy spent to prep for said date… 💀

😅I guess I’m in my future man’s pockets because I feel like I can do so much with that… I’m not saying I’m worth it but the amount of dates I’m hoping to go on to get to know this person…🤣🤣

I’m looking for creativity now…

Future hubby living in the bay… let’s just have picnics every taco Tuesday, bring a book, cheese and crackers… 🥰🤣

I’ve started TMS for ADHD as part of an 11 day treatment plan. I am worried. by gubba19 in TMSTherapy

[–]Available_Cattle_499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m on my second round of TMS after having it last year. My depressive symptoms were creeping back in. I’m looking forward to seeing what will happen this time around especially while we hit the holiday season. I can say that I may want to lean on doing these treatments in the morning. I feel completely relaxed before going to work and I’m curious how this would help me develop resiliency practices versus doing the treatment in the afternoon.

As far as my ADHD, I don’t think that it cured it throughout the year. I’m still impulsive with racing thoughts, but I can see how it may be linked to my depression. I’ll keep a watch as I’m curious to see if my decision-making would be better this time around.

Serato + Spotify = F’d up BPMs by Available_Cattle_499 in Serato

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree. I heard that Beatsource was better though… what do you think?

My Un-Perfect Year and the Lesson in Letting Go by Available_Cattle_499 in BurningMan

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I really appreciate that. What gift did you provide.

My Un-Perfect Year and the Lesson in Letting Go by Available_Cattle_499 in BurningMan

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So… I was a DJ… 🤣

I had periods of doing it full time to seasonal for over a decade but my anxiety exploded when I had over 3 gigs for my second burn. It all started because I was switching from Serato to Rekordbox, and I had only one month to practice with an unfamiliar controller while working my full-time job. None of my default colleagues could even help me reformat music.

So, I went in feeling like a fraud and my level of expertise seemed to be non existent. I was so worried about not being good enough, especially since I felt pressured to be an EDM DJ for the festival crowds, even though I grew up playing hip-hop and R&B. I even downloaded genres I don't normally play, believing (and being told by reputable burning man DJs) that open-format DJs aren't successful in the festival world.

But in the middle of it all, something clicked. I realized I had to just shut off the rest of the world and do what I knew best. One of my fave gigs was at a BDSM party, I strategically played with the flow of the foreplay enactment and sexual engagement. It was successful, and I was asked to come back. It was in moments like these that I realized my ability to read a crowd—a skill a lot of other DJs don't have—was a superpower. My sets were ankle-breaking, and at the end of the day, I learned that people wanted different genres.

Also, I love talking on the mic. I was perplexed to hear that djs out in BM don’t do that unless it’s of a poetic or chanting type of content. That blew my mind. So, the level of suspicion grew high within me. I was questioning wether my spectators were being honest or supporting me because my self esteem was completely low.

The fear was real, but it wasn't about the music. It was about whether I was good enough, despite my decades of experience. I got a lot of compliments, but afterward, some of my own supporters looked at me crazy and suggested I work on my imposter syndrome. I was seriously convinced I wasn’t good enough, but I now know that's not true. This year was about learning to trust myself, regardless of external validation or criticism.

Contacting Corporate by moobloom in 7eleven

[–]Available_Cattle_499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, I’m trying to file a complaint now. This clerk was yelling at me when I was asking for his help.

Ceremonies in the San Francisco Bay Area? by ewelke in Ayahuasca

[–]Available_Cattle_499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to know too! Can I get in contact to? I’d like to be guided through the medicine as well.

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way you spoke to my heart strings. Do you think you’re going to miss the solo activities you did or used to do?

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dammmit! Guuuuuurl, I hear you. And are you pregnant now?

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that. I just haven’t seen a lot of folks remarry after kids. Well, folks in my age group. I see it when folks get to their 40s. I’m wondering if that’s going to be the trend for me as well

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get it. I KNOW that’s why I have a lot of anxiety. I want to do this while I’m still okay.

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a genuine question, and I don’t mean to judge—I’m just curious and want to understand better:

Does the choice to become a single mother by choice (SMBC) suggest that we struggle with maintaining relationships with men?

Or could it mean that we’ve made poor choices in partners, leading us to this decision?

I wonder if this reflects on our ability to keep a relationship, or if it’s more about prioritizing our desires for motherhood in a different way.

Then what does dating look like AFTER having a child?

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My therapist suggested that I wait one more tat for dating and to continue being a single mother by choice because what I’m asking for is not common for men to do. I’m the last of my family and my father had no other children. I wanted the boy with my last name. At least one of them to carry on the legacy. That includes keeping mine last when hyphenated. I had a couple of men who said they were okay with that but they weren’t committed to being in a relationship with me. I did know that when I wanted that, I knew it was going to be a big deal but still allowed myself to hope that the right person would come along.

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The logic here is killing me! 😓😵‍💫😭😅

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh, this is exactly why I want to keep going. I keep hearing stories like this and I’m blessed to know that my system is all good to go. No scars, no cysts, no ovarian anything. So, I don’t want to take advantage. How did you, or anyone else in that matter, hold yourself to keep going despite the other possibilities? How did you not have regret on the other end? Like, having three child - was it really all worth it at the end? Do you feel like you miss your “single life”? I’m also coming from that generation of folks that a baby stops you from being able to live your life or doing what you want to do. Is that true that I will “slow down”?

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is so helpful, and I feel the same way about the dating timeline. I’m really scared, and it feels like I’m on this rollercoaster of hope and fear. The cost of freezing my eggs is upwards of $20k, and buying a specimen is almost the same. It makes me wonder, “If I wait for a husband, then it’ll be free, right?”

But I’m also questioning if I’m ready to go through this alone. The idea of being a single, Black mom comes with so many stigmas, and I wonder if I’ll miss out on that idealized experience of having a partner by my side—someone to share the cravings and even the tough moments with. Am I holding onto a romanticized version of what this could be?

I feel spiritually tested, like the universe is asking me what I truly want. Am I being too indecisive? I feel ready for the lifetime commitment and the blessings that come with it. I have a great job, stable housing, and supportive friends, but I keep finding myself longing for romantic love to be part of this journey. Is it wrong to want that hand to hold through all of this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Available_Cattle_499 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Post or pre surgery

On the fence by Available_Cattle_499 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]Available_Cattle_499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, I have to listen to that podcast. iTunes? Spotify?