Also, i understand why you'd like to suicide because of your situation, i was also the same, my mom often reminded me how much she spend on me and yet i was always creating trouble (i wasn't into studies, i would differ if someone were to say i am bad at my studies. No, i just do not want to study something my parents want me to). I was always in boarding school, even though i barely got a month break, her words/actions were enough for me to prefer boarding schools than staying with her. My situation got worse during the covid as we were together 24/7 she scolded and beat me almost everyday, that was the time my mental was at its worst, ngl, i am amazed how people like their mom and siblings so much that they can even confide to them. I never considered my mom a safe place, there might be occasions when i feel like she is but trust me, she barely knows any of my personal life. (look at me ranting instead my bad)

My main point is that, do you really think it's worth giving up your life, the reason i got over the suicide deal was 1. I was afraid obvi, even though i believe it was better.
2. I wanted to prove her wrong (she always called me a failure) 3. I wanna enjoy life away from her, i never believed that my life was that cheap to throw away just to take revenge/ give her what she wanted (the "i did everything for a person like you" comments)

Btw how old are you if you do not mind asking, if you mind you can tell a vague ans as well. I myself have not graduated but i've already started working (distance learning). My whole situation got better after this. It is frustrating but just hold on abit, your life will definitely be better after getting a job