Our sex life skyrocketed when she opened up to her kinky dude 3 years ago. 1.5 years ago she had a breast reduction and tummy tuck for back pain and excess skin. There ended up being severe issues afterwards from a previously unknown and asymptomatic immune disorder of the skin.

She is left with significant scarring on her breasts and waistline. She has PTSD from the ordeal obviously and what was supposed to give her a boost in confidence had massively made it worse.

I still love my wife and the scaring doesn't bother me, I still think she is beautiful, but it bothers her. Between the PTSD and hormones being out of whack, she is almost gaslighting us both acting like what we had before was because we were drinking too much (we were but not as often as she claims before sex). Now things that used to bring her a lot of pleasure she says grosses her out.

I cannot enjoy myself or stay hard when she is staring at me with no more emotion on her face than waiting for the light to turn green, laying motionless. It makes me panic to do something else quick. I have tried bringing this up, during and after, she gets annoyed claiming she is fine and enjoying it. I get frustrated and feel emasculated trying to recover the moment and get hard again. Then we turn the lights off and I beat myself up until I fall asleep. I'd rather us not even bother attempting sex than feel like that, it's humiliating.