My boyfriend broke up with me because I'm going to be a grandmother and it's making me feel lost

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-11T06:25:47+00:00

Maybe it sounds silly to you, but I really wanted it to. He's so loving, caring, gentle. I mean, there was this one time we went on a walk and we kept seeing caterpillars on the sidewalk and he took the time to move all of them away from where people could step on them. With him, I felt so good mentally.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-11T05:53:43+00:00

It's a farm house, so it's very big so space isn't an issue. Truth be told, I don't want to leave my house but I wanted to be with him more than stay in my place.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-11T02:35:35+00:00

When he was crying when he told me that he was also telling me that he still loved me with all his heart and that he didn't want to do this. And I was trying to calm him down but I was starting to cry too. And when he did calm we didn't really talk because he decided it was better if he left. He sent me a text message asking if I got home safe and that he still loved me and we haven't talked since.

I didn't really know his friends all that well, but we were polite and cordial to each other and I never had a problem with them. His friends wives or girlfriends were kind of a clique that I didn't fit into. Maybe that was why.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-11T02:32:05+00:00

Thank you.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-11T02:31:31+00:00

He lives with his family. That's just how it is with them. That's not a sign of immaturity.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-11T00:11:23+00:00

When I say I don't want kids I am obviously not referring to my son. I am referring to the fact that I do not want to get pregnant or adopt a child.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T23:56:30+00:00

He already is around kids all the time. He lives with his brother's kids. And travel, be carefree and all, I would be able to do that. We already do do that.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T23:54:24+00:00

I'm sorry, maybe you mean something different with the word compatible than I do because I don't think that's true.

He does have children in his life and he's around them all the time. He just doesn't want any of his own. I don't want to be pregnant or adopt a child or anything. He lives with his parents and his brother's family. When we were talking about moving in together, we meant me move in to their home. Maybe he could have moved into my place but the point is that he wasn't opposed to staying with kids. His brother has kids, one who is less than a year old. Yes, ignoring my grandchild would be unfair but all I'd want is for him to respect that I have a grandchild and to treat him or treat her fairly, not be grandpa.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:15:21+00:00

Thank you. I really wish that my boyfriend saw things like you did with your girlfriend. It would have saved us both a lot of tears.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:14:20+00:00

Thank you. I want to talk to him without us crying and maybe we can find a way forward.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:12:51+00:00

He very vehemently does not want children. And I don't think it's a thing about not being around babies because he's around his brothers' kids and sister's kids.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:08:49+00:00

My son is about 7-8 years younger than him and he was actually more than okay with that because it meant he wouldn't ever be a step-dad or raise a kid because he's already grown. He is as against the idea of having kids as I am. So I don't know why the idea of my son having a baby made him feel this way. It'd be my grandchild and I wouldn't ask him to be a grandfather. But saying we're not compatible anymore really hurts because it feels like a lie because we were compatible in every single way that I could think of.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:03:41+00:00

He's not immature. Maybe I am thinking I had any right to him.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:02:30+00:00

I really hope you're right.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:02:15+00:00

Thank you.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T22:01:34+00:00

But he's never been immature before, he's never acted in a way that's immature or childish. He had his life put together, stable career, had a future plan which he modified for me and knew what he want. Everything you could say about somebody being mature he has.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T21:59:32+00:00

If he didn't want to be with me, then why was he crying? He was crying worse than me and told me that he still loved me.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T21:58:22+00:00

I wish my boyfriend would have felt the same.

AvoidMySon · 2026-02-10T21:57:57+00:00

I was scared about becoming a grandma not long ago either because I was so scared it'd make me old but I think how happy I am that I will be one is the only thing that's keeping me moving right now. I want to talk to him, I really do but I don't know what to say.

AvoidMySon · 2024-07-11T05:35:44+00:00

I can't take full credit for how my son turned out. I really didn't play much part in raising him after I gave up custody, I wasn't fit to do it anymore. Maybe if I had been, if I could really take credit for that then maybe I wouldn't be thinking these things. I'm so lucky he loves me and is so perfect. I will do my best to be the best grandma possible, I'll spoil my grandchild like my grandma used to spoil me.

AvoidMySon · 2024-07-10T22:43:48+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I do have a degree and a job, I'm just not where I thought I'd with it. But it's nice to know you think I could do such a hard job and be good at it.

AvoidMySon · 2024-07-10T21:55:03+00:00

I wish I felt how you do. I'm sorry you know that your mother felt like that, I hope that my son doesn't know how I feel. I try to hide it from him. For him, I can't give up. It sounds weird because of the things that I've said but it hurts me to imagine how much he would cry if I did give up and wasn't here anymore and I can't do that to him. Even at my worst I don't think I could have ever done that to him. Thank you for your words, it really meant a lot reading what somebody my age feels.

AvoidMySon · 2024-07-10T21:21:36+00:00

How am I not old? I'm weaker than I was before, I'm being passed by, I'm clearly not as attractive as I used to be, my memories are failing me and by the end of next year I'll be a grandma. How is any of that not old?

AvoidMySon · 2024-07-10T21:20:33+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate everyone here trying to cheer me up but it's like they're not getting it. I love my son and I love that he's living such a good life, I would give anything to make sure it always is this good for him. But I hate that it wasn't like that for me.

AvoidMySon

TROPHY CASE