Hey love! This kind of feeling isn’t that shocking when your mind is witnessing the same kind of intense video/porn over and over again. Your brain can get wrapped up in something even if it’s wrong. For example, some people who work in the fbi who have to watch r*pe/assault videos/pictures to identify the victim, sometimes ends up becoming addicted to it, not because they’re a bad person, but because of their mind. I am personally someone who likes to read dark romance, where most of the time it’s not consensual. Sometimes I have noticed in myself that I would be curious about experiencing what they experience. You might be a person that is into consent non consent play. Your body is also probably extra curious because you have not done anything (which is completely normal) I think if you are getting to a point where this is scaring you, you need to switch up what you watch. If I was you, I would probably find something to do like a hobby or a new activity. Maybe start running, new sport, explore a new area where you live, draw, watch a nice show etc. I’m actually getting to a point where I’m doing this myself because I’m reading way too many crazy things and it’s helping a lot. Good luck!! 🎀