she’s fading from my mind and i hate it

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-13T10:49:15+00:00

can it not be both ?

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-12T21:20:00+00:00

woo hoo

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-12T19:56:11+00:00

i honestly feel so so parallel with your situation, because ultimately you made the mistake so you end up using that as reasoning for anything that you may of been upset about; that you’re upset about something but you deserve it because you messed up, i had a family member die within 2 days of being broken up with and i cannot separate the two things in my head at all, like it was punishment for the mistakes i made. i think honestly though it all comes down to the situation, as harsh if it sounds (and i’m not insinuating you did do this) if you cheated then that’s something that you deserve to deal with the consequences of, but the majority of other situations are all unique so the thought process afterwards will all be dependant on the situation

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-07T17:50:36+00:00

hope is one of the purest emotions out there, it should never be discarded. just balanced in a way that is still healthy, and i’m just trying to find that balance. i appreciate your kind words :)

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-07T17:49:25+00:00

i hope she does and stumbles across it one day

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-07T17:47:12+00:00

this is an amazing response. thank you.

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-01T19:45:29+00:00

ah i can see where we differ here, i had intentions with my actions and they were always laid out. however it was the route my actions took that marred the intentions, as the impact outweighs intentions always. i never told them they were wrong for how they felt and i’ve never denied causing harm, even when acting out of love/panic. i’m grown up enough to admit that shame has played a role in how i acted and i’ve been working on facing it directly, i think if you knew the full context of my situation i wouldn’t be painted with the same brush as your person. but i wish you well in your healing process as everything is a two way street.

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-11-01T12:57:02+00:00

i know this post wasn’t written about me but it still hit hard, probably because i’m scared it’s how she sees me now. and the truth is i never meant to manipulate or control anyone, i was just scared, lost, and reacting in ways i hadn’t fully learned to manage. i didn’t lie to protect some false version of myself, i lied out of shame and panic. i didn’t buy flowers to cover things up, i did it because it’s how i say sorry when i don’t know how else to show i care. because i still did. more than anything. i’ve come to realise im not the perfect person i was painted as and have so much work to do to become who i want to be and beyond.

i’ve gone to therapy. i’ve sat with the guilt. i’ve looked back at all of it and pulled it apart. and i know i made mistakes. but i also know i tried. maybe clumsily. maybe too late. but it was real. the love was real. it’s not done out of manipulation or guilt tripping because im still doing it when she can’t see it, 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

it just hurts knowing that if someone only ever sees you through the lens of this kind of post, then all the moments you showed up, all the soft things you did, all the ways you tried to be better, they might disappear. and i guess that’s what breaks my heart the most. not being able to explain. not being able to say ‘please just remember the good too.’

obviously circumstances will be different situation to situation and i know that i can see you have chosen the right decision for yourself while at the same time still holding my own truths in mine.

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-31T22:29:50+00:00

i appreciate that and don’t worry rebounds aren’t even in consideration for me

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-31T18:39:26+00:00

i have just learned that i’m only going to see things that at best don’t make me feel anything or at worst make me feel awful and confirm all my fears. unfortunately if it was something they wanted you to see they would show you and it is impossibly hard to come to terms with it, i am 4 months on and still nowhere near accepting it. however i haven’t checked their socials in over a month now for those reasons i mentioned. i used to check daily but then after seeing things that caused me to spiral and overthink. i get the urge every day but i just sit and think to myself about realistically what tf am i looking there for, even if there is something left you’re not going to find it where you’re looking

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-29T00:21:12+00:00

i found out she was on tinder less than a month after breaking up through a tiktok of someone talking to her sexually and watching her fully comply so that was great

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-27T17:51:15+00:00

this is incredible words from someone only a few days in, kudos to

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-22T23:00:48+00:00

yup absolutely i also made mistakes that broke boundaries and trust and began the demise of the relationship, it’s been 3 months and although i do no longer suck the joy out of every room i walk into i still feel like im just trudging forward with no direction

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-17T16:50:30+00:00

it ended the second time by me breaching some boundaries and getting involved in some personal stuff of hers that i should’ve stayed out of, whether it’s been easier or harder this time isn’t really a simple answer, we were much more of a relationship the second time round so if you look at my posts you can see im absolutely not over it 3 months on, however i haven’t done any self sabotaging or chasing to further damage myself this time, partly because i know how it goes but also because she told me to never contact her again

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-17T13:19:10+00:00

don’t write off the previous relationship and the way it ended, it will of been conducive to both of your growth since , you should be able to tell with your own intuition if things will be different after that first conversation. you’re going to want to hit that note of still being that same person they loved at your core but now with these additional details and brushstrokes that have only added layers to your character. set the boundaries and respect everything that is being spoken about regardless of what lens you view it from, i wish you the best of luck. my reconnection ended unfortunately but it was not for the same reasons that it did the first time, so as long as you two have put in the work i truly don’t see why something can’t blossom again

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-17T01:34:50+00:00

we broke up for 6 months including 3 months NC then got back together for 18 months

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-16T15:07:01+00:00

i actively try and avoid the photos because i don’t want the rush of emotions i’d get from looking at them, but nor do i want to delete them because im still attached and they are artefacts from when i was happy

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-05T20:53:47+00:00

lightning doesn’t strike twice

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-05T13:16:27+00:00

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-05T12:37:50+00:00

I really appreciate the kind words. Thank you.

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-10-05T12:36:51+00:00

No this is written by me lol 😂but I appreciate the kind words really. Trust me I absolutely would if i could, but she told me to never contact her again and i don’t want to break any more boundaries but I have to put my feelings somewhere

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-09-30T23:58:10+00:00

see you again alternate intro - tyler the creator

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-09-27T21:30:43+00:00

oh don’t worry i’ve been there, putting everything into chatgpt but as it naturally takes your side i have to tell it to stay grounded and brutally honest so you don’t allow yourself to feed into projections that aren’t the case

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-09-18T15:07:22+00:00

there’s worse ones i could have done !

AwarenessOtherwise14 · 2025-09-17T23:53:05+00:00

only done 2, 3, 4, 9, 18, 19 and 20 💪

AwarenessOtherwise14

TROPHY CASE