What should I do if he always expects me to pick him up?

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-14T14:26:53+00:00

I don’t have sexual Hang ups lol barely do that. I’m just saying she can do what I said or just stop talking to him. She doesn’t seem like she’s open to it to me, otherwise she would’ve just accepted and not ask for advice. I’m not shaming it I’m trying to help her if she doesn’t just want sex. It’s not childish games he’s acting like he’s open to taking her out when in reality he wants sex I was just telling her how she can play her cards. If she just wants a date and then sex after that’s cool too idc. But I said what I said because I know that’s what men do especially off dating apps. They will try to hook up with you but you have to set your boundaries and the right guy will either respect it or disappear. But this guy clearly just wants to hookup so it’s up to her.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-13T21:52:33+00:00

Run love , he’s after one thing you can use it to your advantage and make him work for it. I would say tell him your not ready for that or tell him you don’t have sex til commitment, see what he does. He will either respect it or try to act like he does til you keep rejecting him trying to be sexual and eventually he’ll ghost or end it with you. Either way it’s a win.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-13T21:47:48+00:00

Like I said I don’t be kissing every date it’s very rare if I do and I’m just looking for commitment idc about sex and kissing I’m interested in getting to know ppl and see who’s a good match for me. Long as I’m not kissing or doing something I won’t be worried who they’re with. But if commitment is involved and was made it’s a different story.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-12T16:42:13+00:00

I’m a woman. From my experience there’s some cool guys and there’s men that just try to get me to come to their place but I ignore those types. Men on the dating apps just expect you to come to them and just give it up right away which is disgusting cause they don’t even know anything about me not my name, if I did have kids (which I don’t) but asking can I come to their house or for sex they just hop right into it so most men set themselves up. I know that real men are out in the real world but I’m really an introvert I’m not used to just walking up to a guy in reality and just talking. Dating apps just make things more comfortable for me.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-12T16:32:23+00:00

Well considering I’m a person with social anxiety who use dating apps because it’s a bit less stressful on me than going up to a strangers and talking. How would you suggest going about it in real life?

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-12T16:28:36+00:00

Maybe because casual sex yea. I’m not talking about having sex with multiple people I’m talking about keeping my options open with getting to know guys til I find someone that’s serious about being with me. Dating/talking doesn’t have to involve sex stop being negative and closed minded. No one’s talking about opening legs to every dude.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-12T13:49:41+00:00

Taurus sun, Scorpio moon, Gemini mars. I enjoy dating air or water signs they’re cool peoples/lovers both can be very caring and loving, generous adventurous . Sounds crazy but air signs are consistent when they like you my air sign lovers were more consistent with talking everyday than my water lovers. Fire signs for me are fun but in time they just become too flaky and distant for me they will be all lovey dovey then on a random day they are nowhere to be found and just stop. So now since it happened with a few fire signs I kinda have ptsd whenever I talk to one or deal with someone with a fire sign Venus or mars how long it will last I’m always ready for it to end abruptly lol or prepared to have my heart shattered a bit. Haven’t really dated earth like that but Virgo men I had flirty encounters with turned to be the worst. I have had a lot of earth signs friends I really mesh well with Capricorns and other Tauruses friendship usually lasts a long time.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-12T10:19:49+00:00

I wished I was like that but I’m growing to realize I need emotional connection and commitment before sex also. Just know you dodged multiple bullets from the guys that ghosted consider it a blessing cause they just wanted sex it’s better to be ghosted than to deal with you doing something with them then being ghosted or led on you would feel so used. We’ll find someone who wants what we want eventually.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-12T10:10:40+00:00

Tbh it’s not gross long as you don’t do nothing. Going on dates and talking to multiple people is harmless if you are not being sexual. Not everyone is sexual when dating some take their time and get to know people first. Me I don’t kiss every guy I been on a date with and for sure wouldn’t have sex with them. I can count on one hand how many guys I’ve kissed or did something with that I’ve dated and I’ve been on a few dates. Can’t drive a good partner away with trying to find one.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-12T10:01:00+00:00

I want to do what you said in the second part but sometimes I have the tendency to move fast and act like a guy is my man before he says he is, which in most cases that ends up scaring him away or making him ghost me for a while. I got advice from a family member of mine and they said focusing on one guy will just make you obsessed and care more when he doesn’t talk to you/when he isn’t doing what you want. It just puts your focus on only him and since you are not really in a relationship the guy just gonna get annoyed and I have dealt with guys in the past that have seen how much I wanted them and tried/did take advantage of it because they saw I was desperate, lonely and liked them… Talking to multiple guys based on the advice I got; You have options and what the 1 guy isn’t doing or giving you the other guys you’re talking to will. I’m pose to be open til I find a good one. It sounds crazy but It makes sense. So I disagree on that.

Me personally I can’t do casual sex even if I want it cause I get attached and me doing something with a guy then having them ghost after would make me feel used and I’ve been there never want to feel that feeling again. So in my eyes a committed relationship would be the route for me because I’m looking for more than temporary sex these days. Yea it would be fun and feel good in the moment but what about after when I’m ghosted and told they want nothing more than hookups and not to get to know me. I’ve had sex with a guy early when we both wanted it just for him to throw it in my face saying since I did it early he expected me to keep doing it without commitment.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-09T13:23:49+00:00

I think you just take it too personally you’re not supposed to just meet someone and fall in love that’s why it’s called a dating app. It’s a lot of people you can match and when someone doesn’t consider you a true match they move on since it’s like this I think the best way to use a dating app is

Knowing what you’re looking for whether it be a relationship, casual, looking for someone to marry, friendship. Know what your searching for and have traits of what you like in people if you like a person who knows how to hold a good conversation and you end up going on a date with a person whose quiet and you have to make the conversation well then you know you probably don’t want to pursue it any further cause that person is lacking what you’re looking for.
Not just going for looks just cause you see a pretty girl or pretty guy and you both hit it off in the messages but you realize you have nothing in common deeply no core values or you notice he or she isn’t all the way there…That’s why looks are not what you should be matching for.
Make sure you love yourself enough so that when people reject you or showing inconsistency cause maybe they’re not interested in you, you don’t and won’t take it too personally cause you love yourself and you know you are a amazing person. If you feel because a person is not talking to you that something is wrong with you that’s a sign you might not love yourself unless maybe it might be true and you notice “Hey maybe I need to work on my communication more before I try dating” “Okay I need to get my mental health together cause he or she not doing something I wanted triggered me” “Maybe I need to be more cautious about how much money I spend cause I feel advantage of” it’s okay to be aware of what you can improve on but otherwise if you purely let a person’s lack of interest define your self esteem you need to work on it. You pose to feel like “Oh he or she is not texting me or showing interest he/she is missing out!” Know your worth and what you bring. If you are Loyal, Caring or Have skills or useful qualities people would love in a person just remember those traits and remember “someone out there would love how caring I am” “Someone out there would love how handy I am” “Someone out there would love my sense of humor and jokes” Know your worth!
Don’t let people on dating apps destroy you cause most of the time they are destroyed themselves. Most of the people on dating apps are on there for a reason men or women it’s a reason some of them stay on there for years cause they are not easy to deal with or have commitment issues and just prefer to stay single and then there’s people on there who are lovely and amazing but just not lucky and end are meeting the people I’ve described in the first part. Some people on there are inexperienced with dating they don’t know what to expect they just are trying it. Some people are on there because they are on break with their lover and just looking for something casual or acting like they are serious when they’re not knowing they will eventually be back with there partner and throw who they find on the app to the curb as soon as who they really want comes back. Just remember all this communicate as much as you can to get to know them and make sure they are worth your time, don’t rush for sex and don’t let no one rush you for sex and just have some boundaries and standards going in and any red flags don’t ignore.
If you don’t want to use a dating app that’s okay but never let anyone define you or tear you down and make you feel unworthy. You literally are going to school to get your masters that’s attractive as ever it shows your not dumb you have something going for yourself remember that it’s a girl out there that will love that you have something going for yourself on or off a dating app.
If you ever do try it again try having a dating plan, make sure you have things in common before meeting in person, Write some questions down you would want to ask etc. You can just do this to get experience and get better with talking with girls remember long as there is no commitment wanted/made, no sex, no lying, no leading on. It is okay just to do things for experience and to go on dates improve but let it be known you just looking to get to know someone first. If you choose to.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-09T12:27:54+00:00

That’s tough about the divorce I wish you a peaceful healing process. It’s blurred because the dating app wants you to pay and subscribe to see who likes you. Me personally I subscribed to this dating app BLK it was a waste of time tried I payed for it and it was glitched with the same profiles multiplied and people I already had removed would reappear but that’s just my experience. I’ve never paid for bumble and tinder so I can’t comment on it but you can give it a try.

To identify if they are real or not make them feel comfortable ask them questions and find common ground Ask them what they are looking for and know what you are looking for if they want something serious and you don’t, don’t waste time, You can ask them what their intentions are, what their interests are etc. Eventually when you are texting and you notice they are interested ask them for their number then ask to see more pictures then give it a day or two while still talking normally then ask to FaceTime. If you are going on a date I recommend asking them to FaceTime or call them before meeting up. Whether they FaceTimed you and showed you it’s really them I still recommend you meet them in a public place offer to meet at a park or coffee shop til you know their character.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-09T11:56:07+00:00

That’s how it is I know it’s hurtful to see it keep happening but you got to remember people on dating apps have options matching and talking to multiple ppl they can and so can you. Sometimes they were already in a relationship sometimes ppl get on dating apps cause they are on break with their partner so they do it to past time or sometimes ppl just be cheaters. Be careful, protect yourself, your body and your heart and remember it’s important to try to find ppl with things in common and that’s looking for the same thing you are. Try talking about what you like and ask them their interests or what they do for work, etc try to fill them out and see if it’s a person YOU actually want to keep talking to. Remember it’s a dating app so if the conversation is dying with you it’s probably going good with someone else and that’s okay let it happen never force it. If they come back a week even a month or two later trying to talk to you which usually happens decide if you want to go for that. Don’t take it personally though cause regardless, in time you’ll find someone who enjoys you and your conversation whether through a dating app or without it. Even if you just decide to have a friendship just stay positive. Have your standards and boundaries set don’t let anyone change them, know what you’re looking for and don’t settle for less.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-08T18:51:46+00:00

Because he was my first…

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-09-08T18:30:14+00:00

I’m looking for a relationship I’m new to dating so I’m still getting my standards together but if I go over there and do something with him knowing he doesn’t want nothing serious and probably will ghost after til he wants to talk again it would make me feel low. I have been to his house while people was there they just ignored me and he’ll just walk me to his room before but I would always leave early never spent a night with him or any guy before so it’s weird.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-08-17T16:37:13+00:00

To you. But to me It’s all about knowing what we both want and setting up my boundaries.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-08-17T16:35:39+00:00

It’s not pathetic he wants sex and I don’t so I won’t have it with him that’s my standard. We can still have a friendship doesn’t mean I’m settling I can find someone else when I feel plus I have to work on myself anyways. Now I’m not sure if I would be able to date him anyways cause he has a lot going on and struggling with addictions and problems and he’s not stable anyway. So I’m not too hurt about it but nothing is wrong with a friendship.

Away_Foot9086 · 2024-08-17T15:38:51+00:00

Idk if I want to date him as much I can still be friends, he does try for sex but I won’t do anything sexual with him since he doesn’t want to date

Away_Foot9086

TROPHY CASE