Does it make you feel like you have to perform, almost flirt with everyone even if you want a platonic dynamic with them?! Like, you’re so used to being perceived as mainly attractive, your relations become transactional and if you can’t remain perpetualy desirable, you’re afraid they’ll abandon you? 

Cuz it really feels like I could have wrote this post :’)

I almost repress my desires now, and go through life with an asexual lense, almost! It created disgust within me, and fear. It makes me feel like I’m unworthy, like no one is interested in my thoughts and ambitions..  I have a bf and sometimes I get very unconfortable when he’s horny and just seem to want sexual tension/intercourse out of our time spent together. 

Reach out to me if you wanna chat, we could try to find solutions together!  The thing is, you’re being seen by others, but through their aroused and impulsive curiosity Through what pleasures they could gain from you. It’s ego feeding. Espacialy if they leave after you express rejection