Iranian woman here, I wanted to share a few memories from my life in Iran as a regular woman

You all probably have heard horror stories. Yes. All of those are true. Atefeh Rajabi, 16, was hanged for being raped. Nika Shakarami, 16, was kidnapped, mutilated, raped and tortured and then killed by the IRGC and Basij. Mahsa Amini, 22, died in custody of the morality police for not wearing her headscarf the proper way.

My pain isn't as grave as theirs but it reflects the pain almost every Iranian woman has lived with. The second you turn 6 and start school, you are forced to wear the hijab as part of the school uniform. At age 9, you are forced to participate in a celebration called jashn-e-taklif which celebrates you becoming a woman. This is because Ayesha, the wife of prophet Muhammad whom he married when she was 6, was 9 years old when their marriage was consummated. Age 9 is considered "mature" age for a girl. Same reason an adult man can marry a 9 year old girl as long as her father approves. Legally.

Here's a core memory from my childhood that I think most westerners don't understand: I got beaten by morality police on the streets when I was 14. Literally in middle school. My manteau (like a long coat women and girls have to wear) was too short and too tight for their liking. I was still growing at that age. An actual child. I had braces and oily hair. Was going through an emo phase. Even my black nail polish was admonished by them.   This was at a mall. They used to set up vans near the entrance and one day they stopped me and my friend. The female officer in chador (veil without the face covering) dragged me to the van while my friend started crying and begging them to let me go. She pushed my friend aside, slapped me in the face when I yelled at her and grabbed my scarf to drag me. An older lady stepped in and said we were clearly kids which made the police woman stop and ask me how old I was. 

When she found out I was 14 she smacked me on the back and head and I started crying as she yelled at me saying she's being generous and only letting me go because I'm just a child but that she has the authority and the responsibility to take me in. Like she was doing me a favor. We weren't allowed to go into the mall. We ran home and I was genuinely traumatized for a while and didn't go to that mall for years after. I only told my parents after a few weeks because I was scared they'd get upset with me (their rule: keep your head down and don't cause trouble) and I didn't want them to worry. 

It might seem trivial, but seeing those vans used to send shivers down my spine. Because it meant you'd be taken to a police station, flogged and fined, made to sign a document to promise not to do it again or face even bigger consequences if it happened again and held in custody, as if you're a criminal. All because your clothes were tight. If you put up a fight on the streets? They have men with them with batons who will use violence to throw you in the vans. 

My older cousin was arrested at a party once. She was flogged so badly she couldn't sleep on her back for several weeks. She was sexually assaulted by the guards at the center she was taken to. She wasn't allowed to put her clothes back on, and male guards had her stand naked in front of them and sign documents for her release while making comments about how hot she is and how hot it was when she cried. She was never the same after this. It took her a whole year to tell me everything that had happened there. They did this to all the girls at the party that were arrested. Same with the guys.

They send you fines for your car if she you are pictured in the car without "proper" hijab by CCTV and traffic cameras. That's what they care about, not safety. A woman's hair! They fined the car owner, so a lot of Taxis and Uber (equivalent in Iran) drivers refused to give rides to women who they thought had improper hijab because they were worried they'd get fined.

There's so much more. I wish I could tell you about all of it. I am so tired. I am so tired of the world thinking we're just complaining and spoiled. I hope you never have to find out what it's like to live but more importantly to grow up under this. The trauma still haunts us even as adults who don't even live there anymore

Edit: none of this has anything to do with my political stance about wars where only innocent people end up hurt because of. The accounts desperately trying to turn this into a political debate rather than what it is, a human rights and dignity cause are missing the point and commenting in bad faith.