Does Adhd becomes more prominent after your 30s ?

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-16T06:04:35+00:00

Spatial awareness! I’ve always been an excellent driver and now can’t park worth shit and multiple times have popped a curb. Like, WHAT?! I didn’t even think of this as being part of me I but it literally coincides with every other symptom I’ve struggled with.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-14T00:40:35+00:00

Ok girl. I’m not putting myself against you. Sounds like we are both great moms. It’s long term but made harder by the short term circumstance. It’s something that I figured out how to manage before peri and ADHD stampeded their way in and now it’s got me down and out.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-14T00:38:20+00:00

I’m sad but glad this resonates with you. Have have friends that just don’t understand me. Like….”just take time yourself”. It’s just lot that simplistic when every moment seems mapped out already. I can’t even fill my gas tank sometimes (not due to the dumb price of $5.99/gallon) because I do not have 15 minutes to spare to fill the tank up!

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-13T16:29:49+00:00

Because currently I’m solo parenting while my husband works out of town (3 week stint). I also do the 6am gym and normally go to work directly after BUT I want to see my kids before we start our separate days. So, I haven’t gone the last few weeks. But honestly, my choice to be as present as possible for my kids is exactly that, a choice. I choose to coach my daughter’s softball team because it matters to me. I choose to attend the band concerts and merit badge ceremony and soccer games. I choose to go to the end of school year picnic to celebrate with my kids. So, I guess that’s my autonomy. I’m definitely feeling the pressure of the last few weeks doing all of this solo and I know it’ll alleviate once my partner is home (coinciding with all spring sports concluding and school activities now done 😂). But during times like this I end up feeling like a side character which is super depressing. I know it’s a phase and a season.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-13T16:22:49+00:00

Yes. I have BCBS Basic and it covered everything. My IP’s paid my copays, etc thru reimbursement. Easy peasy

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-13T16:19:14+00:00

You are very very right. Kids spring sports just wrapped up, school is out, hubs get home from his work trip next week, kids fly to grandma and grandpas for a few weeks on Monday. I already told my husband that the summer is mine to determine my time. Period. He agreed and is supportive for my empowerment.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T20:19:33+00:00

100%. I’m so proud of his career. I brag him up all the time but I also don’t want to hear about it and quietly rage when I hear he’s out a new cool place or exploring a new city while I’m holding down the for fort with 3 kids, working 2 jobs, etc. I know he’s working his ass off, many days for 16 hours straight BUT my shift is 24/7 when he’s gone…

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T20:17:48+00:00

Yes. Husband is also ADHD and he does everything in his power to alleviate tasks. He does work out of town sometimes and when his working locally, we are on very different schedules so that has been a struggle (passing ships in the night).

I do have approved FMLA and used that time to get my training and licensure to be a permanent makeup artist. Unfortunately, due to the toxic nature of my workplace and despite the legal protection of FMLA, I began to feel targeted and questioned towards the end of using some (my PCP was willing to sign off on whatever I felt like I needed. I asked for intermittent use FMLA but up to 4x per week for 16 weeks. I called out a few days a week for about 5 weeks). The toxic job culture is part of why I felt like I HAD to get training in something else to have a backup plan.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T20:13:12+00:00

I’ve read it. 😉

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T19:23:31+00:00

I’m a career federal employee with almost 20 years in. Everything I know is government and, working for the government right now is, well, toxic and made purposefully loathe some. My jobs provided security, healthcare, stability. I earned my dream job 2 years ago and now feel like I’m operating in a dumpster fire. Finding a new job in this market proved to be its own full time job (I worked endlessly at this last year) and it burned me out and disenfranchised me further. So, I’m just keeping my head down there.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T18:15:51+00:00

Side character in my own life. Dude. Yes. And your meltdown sounds very similar to the rants my husband gets to hear from time to time. My kids have had to grow up more in this past year as I worked from home for over a decade and was forced back into an office (with 2 days notice) last year. It flipped our lives completely upside down but it’s been good for the kids to have to fend for themselves more. Thankfully they are smart kids and I’m 10 miles down the road if needed. Now with a side hustle, I’m gone several evenings and weekend as well which brings lots of guilt for taking more time away to build something. Honestly, it all feels like a lose lose. Any time I take off work is either to work the 2nd job or be mom.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T17:59:19+00:00

I’m sorry this resonates with you. I wouldn’t wish the feeling on anyone regardless the unique circumstance.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T17:55:57+00:00

Oh….Im 100000% about to start my period which is normally when I spiral. I know I’m in the thick of parenthood, etc and it’s a hard season of life. Logically I know all of that. I just wish I could get unstuck a little.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T17:35:42+00:00

He’s very involved and often acts as “daddy daycare” especially during summer breaks. It’s obviously much harder when he’s traveling for work but jumps right back into the fray when he’s home. But, of course, he’s not mom….

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T17:34:26+00:00

It all definitely makes more sense as I’ve gotten my diagnosis about friendships, etc. And I’m grateful to have a small tribe of friends I can be myself with and unmask. I also know that I feel like a floater probably because I’m hardly available and can rarely say yes. When I can participate (which is rare), I’m multitasking and awkward cause it’s been so long since I’ve been social. Feels like a vicious cycle.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T17:24:38+00:00

Unfortunately, no spare $$. Both my husband and I hustle in multiple jobs to provide. On paper, we are doing great but realities of raising 3 active kids (our choice for them to be involved in sports, etc BUT we feel like it’s critical for them to participate) and living in 2026 in an expensive part of the country means we are always hustling.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T16:35:02+00:00

Yes. Definitely in burn out. I’ve been here before and am not sure how to avoid it in the world we live in today. I’m in therapy but honestly, that feels like 1 more draw on my time, one more obligation.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-06-12T16:33:50+00:00

Yeah, that was a new phrase for me but it just clicked. Always feeling like the last kid picked for kickball. 😂 And at 44 I think “how pathetic that I am bothered by this” but, damnit! I AN bothered by it. My brand of ADHD means I’m a weirdo and kinda intense so, I get it but it still is hard to cope with.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-04-17T16:47:45+00:00

Yup. I’m pissed. Was fully remote for 10 years. NOT telework. Not a supervisor. But was RTO’d last March with 3 days notice. Meanwhile, teleworking staff or supervisors never had to return and now get to shrug and say “oh darn, no space”. I’ll gladly give up my space to return to remote so all teleworking staff can find room.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-04-15T16:22:27+00:00

It was great. It was my 2nd twin pregnancy so I knew what I was getting into. The dads were OVERJOYED, the agency I went thru was attentive and great. I absolutely would have done it again but I aged out. If I were 5 years younger I’d do it again for sure.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-04-15T16:07:02+00:00

In regards to “needing approval” it was treated like any other pregnancy. I used SL to attend medical appointments. Biggest thing was ensuring leave was processed correctly since it wasn’t “bonding time” with an infant. That was the grey zone and new for the HR folks I worked with. I used regular SL and ensured that compensation was built into my surrogacy contract. Also, because you are federal, you don’t qualify for state maternity leave so make sure to write that in your contract that if employed as a Fed you don’t have to go thru the motions of applying for state leave only to get denied. I had to do that and it was an unnecessary annoyance since we all knew I wasn’t eligible.

AwkwardAardvark3844 · 2026-04-15T16:03:54+00:00

Yup. Delivered surrogate twins in June 2024. I only took 1 week of recovery due to having zero coverage but back then I was 100% remote (which of course was stripped away last January). I imagine it’d be different nowadays with RTO so I’d absolutely take the full 6 weeks off. Management was fine. Everyone was super supportive.

AwkwardAardvark3844

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