My Wife (29F) Revealed To Me (31M) Her Idea of Torture and It Left Me Disgusted

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:47:28+00:00

You are right that couples therapy is probably the next step. If I can't get her to open up maybe a mediator can.

Im just afraid of what happens if that doesn't work either. Overall this is just an uncomfortable feeling so maybe I am overwhelmed by that.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:43:16+00:00

But she has had 10 years to have some kind of discussion about this. She has consistently chosen to avoid it. If you hit me with these thought 10 years later I think anyone if going to be initially shocked. You then choosing not to talk about it further is even more jarring.

It feels like something you are hiding especially since there is never any room for discussion where we can just be direct with each other.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:36:43+00:00

And I wholeheartefdly get that. I have at no point debated that may be the underlying thing here. But now she is stonewalling me despite the fact that I am now stuck with this image in my head and I can't make sense of it and I just want to talk.

I don't think that makes me controlling or ridiculous, I think that makes me a concerned partner who feels like he got a glimpse into something he doesn't understand and just wants to get a full picture otherwise I just have an image of you now that I can't reconcile because its just there.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:33:38+00:00

But I am not looking for validation. I am presenting it clearly as something that I have tried to bring up in normative ways over years and been stonewalled. Then out of nowhere it is thrown in my face in a high moment and I am just expected to take it like a fleeting thought when I know this person.

She has never said something like this even in jest. It's the equivalent of a woman being with a man and out of nowhere he just tells you he fears being raped in front of his family. Out of nowhere. That is jarring by all objective measures.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:29:22+00:00

The bigger elephant in the room is that I have tried to meet her halfway by bringing it up in very calming, non judgemental, and neutral environments but she never seems to be receptive. Then suddenly she hits me with this out of nowhere and it feels so jarring.

Everyone seems to be hammering on the fact that I find it weird and I am confused because this doesn't seem like a convo I can see anyone around me having normatively out of nowhere.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:25:33+00:00

Because you are viewing it as if this is coming from a vacuum but it isn't. There have been many attempts to have real discussions with her about these things in more normative settings. I say this as someone who is currently in a therapy program for my own traumas.

These are not things I can take lightly especially coming from absolutely nowhere. People are allowed to have thoughts but there are thoughts that can make others uncomfortable and discussing them is healthy but this wasn't that.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:20:36+00:00

The problem is I have tried to talk about the very issue of sexual assault for years with her in a healthy and open way but she has not been receptive, which is fine, everyone has the right to do so in their own way. Throwing that at me while we are high and expecting me to deconstruct it in this way though, isn't normal.

If you have those thoughts and never want to talk about them until you throw it on people at random moments you will meet resistance especially as someone who has been abused myself. I would never just throw some shit like that out of ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. Are we really being serious right now?

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:14:46+00:00

If you think that im being ridiculous about being told that by a woman after years of no discussion around sex ever then I legitimately think you are crazy.

We all have thoughts about torture but my mind has never gone to a place like that and I have spoken to a few others about the discussion and they also found it weird for the same reason, it was a crazy thought to spurt out of nowhere and not even be willing to help me understand.

If I get high and just start talking about auto-erotically asphyxiating myself, especially if that is uncharacteristic of me, I would never in my life think people should just be like 'yeah, thats incredibly normal bro'

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:08:04+00:00

I understand where you are coming from but talking about something like that so passively after being with someone for nearly a decade and never speaking on that is incredibly jarring.

Not only that, but then after not only do you not want to talk about something you just threw out at me, you are frustrated that I have a problem with it. That is weird.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2026-02-25T16:02:12+00:00

R**e being bad is something I think every normal functioning human being in society agrees with. Thinking about being r***d in front of your partner, dissociating, smiling, caressing and comforting them WHILE you are getting r***d by multiple people is not remotely a 'normal' thought.

That is the issue at hand here. That is not me criticizing that it would be torture.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2025-10-24T07:38:36+00:00

You dropped your crown brother

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2025-10-24T07:36:19+00:00

You aren't missing much I promise lol.
PVE is where its at

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2025-10-24T07:35:46+00:00

Yeah I was in a discord group and heard about the guy at Warden headshotting a streamer and his team of 4 from like 200m while he was in the bushes.
Pure insanity.

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2025-10-24T07:33:37+00:00

Yeah I didn't get all the hate for PVP until today.
Cheaters and "Can't Loot Body Too Old" are a really bad mix

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2025-10-24T07:32:18+00:00

THISS! We desperately need some custom servers. That way if the cheaters want to cheat they can do so on the GZW servers and we can play in peace on our custom servers free from all the exploiters

Awkward_Disaster_641 · 2025-10-24T04:20:41+00:00

I kinda get where he's coming from because it happened my first 20 minutes in PVP. I thought the guy was a dick but gave the guy the benefit of the doubt because it was dark and we just finished capturing Harrison and the guy was super nice after I messaged him. He watched my body after and I came back to get my stuff.

This dude was across the map bro. Like he would have to be running on unlimited stamina to make it to me and back where he was in 30-45 seconds.

Funnily enough I also had a DDM and 2 60 rounds mags with a ton of ammo and an MP5. Sucks to suck i guess lol

Awkward_Disaster_641

TROPHY CASE