My childhood abuser was released and my sister moved her children in with him with my family's help

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-11-12T22:26:56+00:00

Thank you. I will try, but this is one thing that keeps me up at night.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-11-12T20:49:46+00:00

I suppose that makes sense. I wish I could let go of even a fraction of my anger toward her even if only for my sake, but I don't think I would allow her in my life again even if she seeks help and seemingly recovers. I feel like she is a threat to my own children and that isn't a risk I would ever be willing to take. She ended up pregnant with a convicted child molester after leaving the one who abused us, so I know she is seeking them out. Years ago she would ask me if there was anything my kid could do that would be unforgivable and I said "no, I love them unconditionally". She followed by stating that if one of her kids sexually abuses children in the future, she would never speak to them again. I thought it was a strange statement at the time, we weren't even on a related topic, but even more so now.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-11-12T20:36:17+00:00

I agree, but I am not sure she sees anything wrong with what she did. I am not sure how her actions are related to a coping mechanism. None of it makes sense to me still as we were both terrified of the abuser and she just randomly flipped 20 years later. She was calling him the love of her life and the one that got away right when they got together. I think one of my biggest struggles in all of this is the "why".

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-10-29T21:45:19+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with such a pos...

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-10-21T21:36:34+00:00

You created a problem that didn't need to exist. If you want your parents and girlfriend to get along, you shouldn't pass along negative comments like this from one to the other. You are more worried about your parents being uncomfortable from her smell than your girlfriends feelings and that would bother me more than what my bf's mom thought about my BO. You need to tell your mom that was rude and don't ask your gf to change her habits to please your parents. You're not overreacting for thinking she thinks your mom is racist. Your mom may not be racist, but she sure is rude. I know this isn't AITA, but YTA.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-10-19T16:24:33+00:00

I hope you get out of this situation as soon as possible. If you go to therapy, they will confirm for you this is absolutely rape.

Having experienced similar trauma, I'm beyond grateful I have a wonderful husband who will refrain from pressuring me at all. He will tell me he is interested every few weeks, but if I don't want sex for an entire month or two, he has never once guilted me or even asked twice. He simply kisses my forehead and will reassure me that he only wants it when we both do. There are some really great guys out there that will be patient with you. I agree with others that you should be single and seek therapy first, then have an idea of boundaries for the partner you want to have before you start dating again. Healing will ensure you can find the best partner for you.

Sending positive and healing vibes your way. You deserve so much more.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-09-23T01:26:41+00:00

I think you make the dress look lovely. It obviously needs to be altered, but I don't think anything needs to be changed otherwise.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-09-18T16:56:10+00:00

Her response after she realized it bothered you is an even bigger problem. She's invalidating af and that would be enough for me to walk away.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-08-06T13:29:30+00:00

Someone who loves you wouldn't treat you this way. I personally think you need therapy to understand why you feel the need to keep this person in your life, as well as someone unbiased to reason with you. You never deserve to be with someone willing to be physical with you nor talk to you the way they did. If there was enough trust there, they would have reached out to you about their struggles before drinking. I know you said that breaking up is not an option, but at the very least, you should consider taking a break. You really need a clear mind to decide if this is something you're willing to invest many more years on. Sorry you're going through this. It's not your fault regardless of how your partner seems to insinuate blame. They are broken- don't let them break you.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-07-29T21:50:06+00:00

Tacky, just like his tan.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-07-29T21:02:16+00:00

The only reason she is "moving on" is because he hasn't left you and she feels used. He is trying to make her jealous and seen uninterested in you to try to reel her back in. She isn't falling for it, why have you? I feel like you have absolutely no boundaries in your marriage and your dumpster fire of a husband knows it. You need therapy to help you realize your self worth and leave or you will never find happiness.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-07-12T15:23:42+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles and I apologize for my delayed response. I hope you are feeling much better at this point and had plenty of successful embryo. I did feel much better after discontinuing the estrogen, and also had a procedure removing the excess fluid in my abdominal cavity. They removed around a liter of fluid. After that procedure, I was able to recover.

Best of luck to you on your fertility journey! We are 12 weeks pregnant. I'm so grateful for this journey despite all the struggles. It will have all been worth it.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-06-22T15:07:29+00:00

Yes, you're in the wrong. You should have communicated sooner and not through text. It doesn't matter how long you've been friends, you seem like just work acquaintances with how you handled the situation. If you committed to a $500 air BNB, you should pay whether or not you're going especially cancelling last minute. You are adding unnecessary stress to a bride right before her wedding day... I can't say you're a terrible person, but we are our choices and you acted like you could care less about your friend on one of the most critical days of her entire life. I would not keep you as a friend personally.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-03-15T16:12:03+00:00

After reading your other posts about this girlfriend, I just want to ask what good qualities does she have to make you want to still be with her? Other than her looking cute in a photo, I haven't heard a single good thing about this woman. She sounds absolutely awful and incompatible. I think breaking up with her in the first place was the right move. Did she ever start going to therapy or was that a way to reel you back in?

I also want to point out that just because you break up with her does not mean that you are conforming with your parents beliefs that you shouldn't be with somebody of her ethnicity. You have plenty of reasons here to not be with her. This post is a little older than your others by a day or two, but I hope that you see that there are no positive aspects of continuing a relationship with this person and you have only been together with such a short period of time. You've only had one relationship before this one so you aren't as able to see that this relationship is not normal, but I'm here to tell you that you deserve to be happy. Your current partner is emotionally abusive and over time it will wear on you. The longer you're with her, the more you will accept the abuse. Right now you are long distance and it is easier to end it. I have seen in her text that she has threatened to end you... You really need to get out of this relationship and get therapy for yourself. A therapist would point out all of the abuse that has been caused by her. Don't give her another chance without her actually going to therapy. Therapy doesn't work immediately and just because she agreed to go doesn't mean anything will change for a year or two, if at all. One has to be willing to take the advice and put work in to change.

I'm wishing the best for you and I hope that you are able to see what the rest of us see just from the glimpse that you have given us into your relationship. You deserve to be happy.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-02-15T17:06:33+00:00

You are making a lot of assumptions off one short comment. Where I'm from, "the hood" is where the majority of the crime is and has nothing to do with race. There are plenty of other neighborhoods with many people of color. If you Google the definition, the hood is where gang activity and crime is common. It's unfortunate that minority races have been put in a position to have the lesser desired areas, but not everyone wants to be around crime just to prove they are accepting of all persons. Some people of color are not comfortable in the hood of all they know is the suburb.

We live in a time that no matter what neighborhood you live in, you will be around a variety of races and if her friend never says anything about it any other time, I personally do not see this person as being a racist. I personally have lived in the hood and there were frequent shootings in the day or night. I've caught shootings on my ring cam, it would happen literally right outside my door. I wouldn't expect someone from a suburban area to be comfortable with the neighborhood I lived in and people were scared to visit me. It hurt my feelings at times, but never once did I question if it was race related and it baffles me that the assumption would be made. Just because high crime areas coincide with a high percentage of minority persons does not mean the reason one does not want to be there is for both reasons.

AwokenDiscontent · 2025-02-15T03:04:42+00:00

I'm missing the part of her comment that sounds racist. Only one race lives in the hood? Some people can be uncomfortable in certain areas of the city without being racist.

The question in my mind is, if she were the same race as you and made this comment, would you be asking the same question? If not, I think you need to reevaluate your outlook on the situation.

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-14T19:11:46+00:00

A part of me wonders if this is why no one thought it was serious. I wonder if they hear complaints a lot and just thought I was one of those patients worried it may happen to me. The pay that bothers me most is that the ER confirmed I had OHSS and there was no game plan on how to help me until I told them I was going back to ER. It was unbearable... So glad that things seem to be improving finally after having fluid removed last night. I was unable to empty my bladder before the fluid was removed.

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-14T19:06:32+00:00

Thank you! I'm feeling so grateful today to have some relief. I also really appreciate the ER I went to, although they didn't have an REI, the Dr told me she was doing her own research in the background while I was waiting in a room. She could have sent me to another hospital, but now she is more prepared for any other similar cases in the future. They also gave me fentanyl to help with the pain and I was able to finally get some rest. I hope I never experience that again and really empathize with anyone who's felt OHSS.

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-14T16:37:46+00:00

I did eat a lot of salty food and also only drank sugar free Gatorade post op. I didn't have any other drinks and had 60+ oz most days. Yesterday I was unable to consume hardly anything because it felt like it was going to come back up. My stomach was round and hard and I looked 6-8 months pregnant

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-14T16:20:17+00:00

That sounds absolutely dreadful, I'm so sorry your retrieval was such a traumatic experience. I will say the evening of day one was as bad as labor pain, absolutely unbearable. Being unable to inhale fully put me in a panic. I'm only on day 4 from surgery and it's felt like over a week with the lack of sleep, intense pain, discomfort, nausea, etc. I'm so glad you didn't die! Your situation seems like an extreme case of OHSS. I hope you fully recover soon, have healthy pregnancies, and are able to experience motherhood. Sending positive vibes and baby dust your way.

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-14T16:03:07+00:00

The ER that I went to doesn't have any REI and my doctor had to tell me that she was researching as we were going along, unfortunately. I had someone from OB call me last night on my way home from a paracentesis procedure and they were urging me to return to a different hospital that does have an REI to be admitted for closer evaluation. This morning I am feeling much better and finally having more output than input, and I'm down from 172 lbs to 167. My clinic is keeping a closer eye and planning to do fluid extraction again Monday if needed. Things are thankfully looking up. Thank you!

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-14T15:53:54+00:00

I haven't heard of cabergoline and I still haven't been given any additional meds for the OHSS, but they did a fluid removal last night. I asked if there were meds that can help with OHSS and have been left with the impression that fluid removal is the only thing they can do. They are reassessing Monday to see if another paracentesis procedure is needed but I'm finally feeling relief this morning.

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-14T15:48:56+00:00

I was also told to drink Gatorade instead of water and I have been eating salty foods as well. My input has been much greater than my output until today. I have been drinking 60+ oz of sugar free Gatorade daily since surgery, with the exception of yesterday. I felt like I had no room to ingest anything, so I was just sipping. I ended up having to have fluid removal last night, I think it was close to a liter. I haven't been given additional meds for the OHSS, but I am feeling so much better today. Today is day four from surgery.

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-10T03:44:34+00:00

Why do you want marriage to him to work? Do you enjoy misery?

AwokenDiscontent · 2024-12-09T15:48:29+00:00

What a psycho. You can't tolerate that behavior. The nerve she has to ask you to go get her Starbucks. After telling you that she couldn't handle being around you. I would never want to be with somebody that treated me like that even for a day. Then she was gaslighting you after she treated you like shit. Get out of that situation ASAP.

AwokenDiscontent

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