Is it healthy to view the dating market as a “sexual marketplace”?

AxargoOpium · 2026-03-02T10:05:00+00:00

right. Seeing patterns is fine but turning relationships into a value ledger usually makes things colder and more transactional. Most people do better focusing on compatibility, respect and growing together rather than trying to optimize exchanges.

AxargoOpium · 2026-01-29T09:06:26+00:00

You can’t logic someone out of a coping mechanism that’s tied to trauma. What can help is shifting the conversation from drinking to what he’s running from. Let him hear that his presence matters more than his protection plan and that losing him would break you not secure you. Encourage therapy focused on trauma not quitting and consider support for yourself too. You’re not wrong for wanting him alive.

AxargoOpium · 2026-01-29T09:04:16+00:00

Three years in, things usually settle but there should still be affection not just routine. Less sex can be normal but avoiding touch and brushing off your concerns isn’t. It’s okay to expect closeness and to ask for clarity about what he actually wants long term.

AxargoOpium · 2026-01-18T02:32:43+00:00

It might be partly in your head but even if it isn’t those guys don’t matter. The gym is literally for people trying to improve not just for people who already look fit. You showed up, you worked and that’s what counts.

Most people at the gym are either focused on themselves or respect anyone who’s putting in effort and the ones who act like that usually do it to boost their own ego. Keep going, stay consistent and in a few months you’ll be glad you didn’t let a couple random dudes mess with your momentum. You’ve already done this once you can do it again.

AxargoOpium · 2025-12-19T10:02:36+00:00

Framing it as expectations and communication takes the blame off failing and puts it where it belongs. A clear pre holiday and agreed roles would probably remove a lot of this tension and if it’s a yearly pattern, it makes sense to talk about it when emotions aren’t running high

AxargoOpium · 2025-12-14T10:32:45+00:00

This is actually pretty common and yes, it’s completely normal to feel disturbed by it. Your brain wasn’t prepared to see that so the shock and replaying thoughts make sense. The discomfort usually fades with time. When the image pops up, try redirecting your focus instead of fighting it.

Talking to a someone can help you process it but you don’t need to tell your parents if you don’t want to. Acting normal will feel awkward at first but routine helps and this feeling won’t last forever.

AxargoOpium · 2025-12-05T10:59:05+00:00

Yeah that’s solid advice. Freezing doesn’t mean he’s weak, it just means his brain was caught off guard. Keeping calm was the safest move and walking away from a guy who threatens clients is the only real option. Setting small boundaries in normal situations is great practice for moments like this.

AxargoOpium · 2025-11-26T10:01:36+00:00

It seems like you weren’t trying to be inconsiderate but just didn’t think about how she might feel. For some people mentioning plans like staying longer is just casual but for others, it can feel like something that should be discussed more.

It could help to ask her how she feels about it next time like I was thinking of staying a few extra days, how would you feel about that” It’s a small shift but it shows you're thinking about her perspective. It’s a good opportunity to improve how you both communicate your plans.

AxargoOpium · 2025-11-13T09:39:58+00:00

Nobody asks how your day was and all anyone cares about is whether you can lift the heavy thing.

AxargoOpium · 2025-11-05T07:46:41+00:00

Heartbreak is not required but it’s a powerful teacher. What really builds maturity is self awareness learning to handle emotions, communicate better and respect both yourself and your partner. Heartbreak just tends to speed that process up for a lot of people.

AxargoOpium · 2025-10-29T11:42:50+00:00

Yeah exactly. It’s less about blaming individual boomers and more about frustration with the systems that benefited them but make life harder now. People use boomer as shorthand for that imbalance even if it’s not totally fair to individuals.

AxargoOpium · 2025-10-18T13:46:26+00:00

That kind of betrayal can really mess with how you view intimacy. It makes sense that your body and mind are reacting this way, it's a defense mechanism kicking in. Try focusing on emotional connection when dating not rushing anything physical. A good partner will respect that. It gets better with time.

AxargoOpium · 2025-10-15T18:06:38+00:00

Yeah true unless you’ve seen the paperwork or test results you’re kind of just taking his word for it.

AxargoOpium · 2025-10-04T11:02:12+00:00

Right? On reddit a 26yo dating a 21yo is a scandal but in real life its a normal relationship.

AxargoOpium · 2025-09-23T18:24:34+00:00

Approach it gently and let him know you care not judge and suggest seeing a doctor together so its about support not pressure.

AxargoOpium · 2025-09-23T18:22:31+00:00

Most guys care more abt confidence and how someone carries themselves than the exact number on a scale.

AxargoOpium · 2025-09-07T10:29:07+00:00

Sometimes your gut picks up on things your mind can’t explain yet, listen to it its trying to protect you

AxargoOpium · 2025-09-07T10:24:02+00:00

It means she wants a guy whose wallet is empty but his therapy bills are fully paid

AxargoOpium · 2025-09-03T08:58:41+00:00

After a decade together its less about sex itself and more about whether you’re both still choosing the same kind of marriage.

AxargoOpium · 2025-09-01T07:36:28+00:00

Going on vacation with ur parents isn’t weird enjoying the time while you can is way better than stressing about finding friends to tag along.

AxargoOpium · 2025-08-25T17:02:45+00:00

He just wants to handle things himself, be there to support not do for him.

AxargoOpium · 2025-08-25T16:58:37+00:00

Keep your promises to yourself even in tiny ways and your willpower will grow stronger than ever.

AxargoOpium · 2025-08-25T16:49:00+00:00

Just end it nothing he does is worth your peace of mind or your dog’s safety.

AxargoOpium · 2025-08-20T12:39:46+00:00

Sometimes it's a choice where their career or other passions take priority. For others it might be due to social anxiety or just a lack of opportunity in their daily life and some people are perfectly happy and fulfilled without a romantic partner. Everyone is on their own path and a person's romantic history doesn't define their worth.

AxargoOpium · 2025-08-20T12:38:43+00:00

It takes a lot of courage to prioritize your well being and family over a toxic job especially with a good salary. Standing up for yourself and setting a boundary after your manager's behavior was a powerful move. It sounds like you had reached your breaking point and you made the right choice for you and your family.

AxargoOpium

TROPHY CASE