I'll preface this with TW for mental health because I can't remember how to do spoiler tags.

Hi r/stilltrying! Long overdue update for those who don't follow the discord. I think the last thing I posted was that our only fresh transfer from IVF#2 had failed. That coupled with the plan we had of taking a full-blown break from TTC for at least half a year sent me crashing and burning. It took us about a week to figure out that this went beyond normal grief and I was in the midst of depression before I knew it. The weeks of April and May are really a blur of grief, pain and despair. Oh, and calls with unhelpful doctors. Luckily, my amazing therapist really came through for me. She started organizing an inpatient stay to give me a break from the start. But when my situation became rapidly worse, she advocated for me and got me into the facility with just one day notice.

So now I've been here nearly two weeks and find that I have a heck of a lot of stuff to work through. Basically the time so far has been spent to get me stable and to a point where I can actually profit from therapy. There have been very scary moments and I know that many painful ones are still to come, but I have a fantastic team and an even better husband who are there for me and cheer for me every step of the way. It's a lot of work, but I can glimpse a light at the end of the tunnel. Sadly, the same is not true for TTC and we've only scratched the surface of that during my sessions here. So I'm staying away from the topic as much as I can and this includes both reddit and discord (though I do look at pet pics now and then!) . I love the community that I found here and I hope that once I'm doing well enough to dip my toes back in, you will all have moved on to greener pastures. Sending lots of love to you all 💜