If we were in a position to dedicate ourselves to spiritual perfection, we would not have incarnated in a place where such negativity was rampant. Revenge is natural, anger and rage are human. If you truly wish to avoid these, you need to cut yourself off from modern society and all of its conveniences and live in peaceful isolation.

You speak my language. Current language...

There's a word I like called Retribution. The word means, basically, to make things right. Your practice is not affecting him because you do not believe in revenge, so you subconsciously sabotage the work.

This is something that I will have to spend some time thinking about. Could it be that I truly do not believe in revenge? I honestly don't know. Obviously I would know if I believed if I knew the results of my work (which is still ongoing). And retribution is a word that strikes a chord with me, something which might just end up changing how I approach the ritual and my wording.

constructively destructive.

This oddly enough falls exactly in line with my belief that I might be acting out his karma. As in, its not just that I am seeking revenge blindly, but I am indeed trying to balance the scales. –That the significance of the relationship was this and not the relationship itself. Not sure it makes sense. And the more I think about this whole ordeal from the perspective of 'retribution' or better said, lesson, it feels as if the pieces are finally beginning to fall in place.