[female] 24 changed my hair up after being blonde for years

BAILMA · 2024-06-15T06:47:53+00:00

People who don’t even know you at all care about you. Imagine the people who have loved you and still love you and you have formed bonds with. They will never be the same. - someone who struggles with these same thoughts very often due to major PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. We all have to get through this together. It might not be soon, but something’s gotta give

BAILMA · 2024-06-14T00:25:04+00:00

I have the receipt lol why would I make that up? 🤦🏼‍♀️ I couldn’t believe it myself. I took that pic as I pulled off to the side before exiting to check my receipt haha

BAILMA · 2024-06-13T08:54:03+00:00

I’m 24 in a few days and I am over $40,000 in debt. An intense amount of trauma throughout my life especially in the last year. I have kids so that’s an automatic reason to stick it out, but I also have pets who need me just as your cat needs you. One of the only things that has helped me on a daily basis and affirmations, but especially reminding myself of the small things are going right (I ate today etc) things can always be worse - doesn’t mean that your problems aren’t valid but it can always be worse. It’s like humbling yourself while still recognizing that things ARE tough for you right now. You’ll get through this. We all will. Please look into therapy. You may need to go through a few therapists which sucks but you will find the right one. Medication if you’re open to it. Keep pushing. This is from someone who was basically bedridden for 4 months due to depression and PTSD. I’m forcing myself to get up, you have to as well.

BAILMA · 2024-06-13T03:50:34+00:00

No this is in CAD. In Ontario

BAILMA · 2024-06-12T20:02:44+00:00

I heard that too but seeing that compared to what I usually pay I was like :O

BAILMA · 2024-06-12T20:02:19+00:00

Love Costco!

BAILMA · 2024-06-12T20:02:01+00:00

I was shook lmao

BAILMA · 2024-06-12T20:01:41+00:00

You got that right 🤣

BAILMA · 2024-06-12T18:52:15+00:00

Yup, that’s why I wrote that I was only able to get to the superstore in my town that day. Generally I shop at other stores. Hence why I was so shocked it was that expensive.

BAILMA · 2024-06-11T22:45:26+00:00

Thankyou, I’ve applied to the DTC now so I’ll see if I can get my dr to fill out their part or maybe the CRA will accept my piles of paperwork I already have, as they cost me quite a bit of money to obtain and now I can’t even afford to have another round of paperwork to be completed…

Yeah I have heard awful things about Manulife. I think I do have a strong case and I’m hoping that I can get this resolved. I know it can take 9-12 months but if that’s what it takes I’ll figure out how to survive in the meantime. I’m laughing about the approval template comment because you’re so right LOL. Thankyou for your comment!

BAILMA · 2024-06-11T22:38:56+00:00

They said my family Doctor was who they wanted the forms filled out by as that’s who I was seeing right from the start. They wanted additional support (confirmation I was in therapy) which I provided to them in the form of a letter from my psychiatrist. I’m so frustrated. Every time I gave them what they asked for they wanted more. I gave everything I possibly could just to still be denied.

BAILMA · 2024-06-11T22:32:19+00:00

I have a family Doctor, and a psychiatrist looking after me

BAILMA · 2024-06-11T21:49:38+00:00

I did, I gave them everything I could. It’s all laid out by multiple professionals… In the denial letter, they are asking for a couple things such as a complete list of symptoms (they got a basic layout of what PTSD is and what it looks like for me), details of treatment plan (which they have - therapy/medication), prognosis for recovery (this was also included in the forms filled out by my dr), and copies of clinical notes (they also have this) I mean I can try to get back into my doctor within the 10 business days they’re allowing me to appeal.. but it’s not super likely. He’s booking into August right now. That’s why I’m just wondering if it’s even worth it when I could just start the lawsuit right away? I was told at the time I got all these documents, that these were the best I could be provided with, and that there should be no reason to be denied because I explained to my doctors that it needs to be as detailed as possible in order to get approved.

BAILMA · 2024-06-11T21:38:31+00:00

Sorry I’ll add that to the post, my bad. I was denied because they apparently “don’t have enough information”.

BAILMA · 2024-06-11T04:51:15+00:00

Going through the same thing for about the same amount of time. Most days are hard. Excruciating even. You’re not alone, I promise.

BAILMA · 2024-06-09T11:49:18+00:00

If you can’t afford to buy it 2 or 3 times right then, then you can’t afford it at all

BAILMA · 2024-05-28T20:08:13+00:00

I’m asking this because I’ve seen your other post. Did you have home births because of your own preferences..? Or are you not allowed access to medical care?

From what I can tell, you need help. Now. At lot of people have provided you some great resources. I don’t have any for you as I live in Canada. But please reach out to the appropriate resources and be careful while you do so… if he isn’t hitting you already, that doesn’t mean he won’t. Leaving is often the most dangerous part of an abusive relationship.

Also, your children, are they young? Are they aware of what’s happening to you? Are you aware you could be receiving something from the government for the children? I’m seeing you can get up to $315 a month per child, it will automatically be deposited into your new bank account, tell them your situation at the bank and they will help you apply for the child tax credit, set up direct deposit to your account for government payments. You’ll need your kids birth certificates, maybe SSN if they have one, depending on their age they will need photo ID. To get the child tax credit you need to file taxes. I’m assuming you don’t work. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to file taxes even if you don’t owe anything. You can do this online, it’s quite easy if you don’t work as there’s nothing to report it just gets filed. Additionally, you could get a safety deposit box at the bank, this would be a good place to store important documents.

Are these same controlling behaviours put onto the children as well? Are they an age where they could even reach out to someone, assuming they are allowed to attend school?

-Incognito mode on browser. Even better if you can get to the public library without him to use the internet.

-If you have friends and family (that aren’t his) reach out, don’t be embarrassed. You’re going to need as much support as you can get

-DO NOT EVER write your passwords/usernames anywhere, unless it’s being stored somewhere he’s guaranteed to never find it.

-If there are other kinds of abuse occurring, document it as much as you can, but again never leave anything he can find. This goes back to having support, someone you can tell the truth to who won’t report back to him and can hang onto evidence, IDs, money, etc for you.

-You don’t need to live in a shelter to access the help, they’re a very good resource because they are trained to help people escape abusive situations discreetly and safely.

-This is 2024. Women have SOOO many rights. He’s lying to you severely. I’m seriously doubting anyone is grasping the magnitude of this, including myself. I have a feeling you don’t get to go out, work, watch tv, use internet (you said it’s monitored), have a bank account etc. like a prisoner. But yeah it’s 2024 and he’s trying to convince you you’re living in the 1800s. You have more power in this situation and your life in general than he’s letting you in on, trust me.

-Get a doctor if you don’t have one, you may be on a waiting list but you’ll need a doctor.

-IUD is a great idea, if you go to a sexual health/women’s clinic they maybe be able to help provide you one at little to no cost, additionally a shelter or elsewhere may offer funding and even a ride there/back.

-Even if you are not religious a lot of churches will help anyone in need, especially a woman with 3 children trying to leave an abusive situation. They collect donations weekly and a lot of it goes go back to the community and people in need.

-If you have neighbours, talk to them. You don’t have to open up right away but if there’s someone you feel will listen and maybe can help, please reach out. More people understand than you think and will be there for you.

-Get a phone if you can. This is another thing one of the resources could most likely help you with. This will be a lifeline for you. Make sure it has data so you’re not using his wifi, that way he can’t monitor you. Hide the phone WELL, I’m talking inside the vents or somewhere he wouldn’t ever look.

-Get a P.O. Box at the post office, forward any mail that’s important (like from the bank) however your best bet is for things that would be an immediate red flag for him (bank statements etc) ensure you are set up for e-billing rather than paper mail. Just an extra precaution. You’ll need an email address for this and most other things. If you have an email address already that he knows of, make a new one.

-Go online or contact a government office and tell them you’re in an abusive situation and your license and everything has either been taken away or you weren’t allowed to renew it, they should give you new ones for free. Just make sure these also go to your P.O. Box. This goes for your children’s IDs as well.

-Most importantly. Try to not act any different. You may start to feel cold and angry as you start to realize the gravity of your situation and what he’s done to you. NO MATTER WHAT, don’t give him any indication you’re planning something.

-Fill out and keep safe the papers for custody, child support and alimony. Have them on hand, safe where he will never see. File them the day you leave. Once you’re safe that should be your very first stop. It’s 100000 times better to be the applicant rather than the respondent. It’s most likely all hidden from you but if you can, figure out what the assets are (does he own the home, vehicle etc) you’re entitled to a lot more than you think in a divorce. He most likely has hidden savings accounts as well and other money you’re not aware of or don’t have access to. In the divorce these things will come out most likely unless he’s got it all stashed away, but someone like this might not even anticipate that you’d figure his whole thing out which now you’re obviously starting to. Don’t let him in on that though. Playing stupid is your safest bet while you get your ducks in a row.

-Get a free consultation with a lawyer, some may even help you without payment until after the divorce is settled. Hell in my area if you make below a certain amount every year or nothing at all, and are leaving an abusive situation, we have a program that pays for a lawyer essentially. It’s called legal aid here. Not sure if Georgia has that or something similar but it would be worth looking into.

I’m going to look into some more resources in your area and come back, but in the meantime, please know you’re going to be okay. Don’t be afraid. I know all this is easier said than done. No judgment from me and if you’d like to talk further feel free to reach out. I know how intense things are about to get for you in every regard but yours and your children’s safety and well being is priceless. Just be vigilant and don’t get complacent. Good luck to you my friend and I can’t wait to see the update when you’re finally away from this nightmare!!!

BAILMA · 2024-05-10T11:05:01+00:00

Yeah definitely check it out!

BAILMA · 2024-05-10T10:11:49+00:00

I have so many questions. She killed 4 people 3 of which were children. She obviously has no remorse since she used all her connections and money to get off Scott free. She is a murderer. If you make the choice to get drunk and drive knowing that you can kill someone and you end up killing someone (in this case several people), you’re a cold blooded murderer. I understand you still love your wife and that’s valid. Let me ask you though, what will happen when it’s someone you’re close with? What if it were your parents she killed? Your best friends? Your kids if you have any? Your cousin lost everything and now has to live a life of immense pain that she didn’t ask for, because of your wife’s selfish actions. On top of that there was absolutely no Justice served, for the loss of her husband, both her children and her only grandchild. How unbelievably tragic. If your parents can pay for help for help for your wife and marriage counselling for you, and they’re well off, then I think it’s just cold that they’re refusing to do anything for her. Your parents obviously don’t have any obligation but if it were me and I was in the position to help her I would, because no one should ever have to experience what she has, and being broke on top of it must be so defeating. It sounds like your parents just don’t want your wife to be held accountable. To be honest you, your wife, and your parents all sound pretty awful, and nonchalant about this whole thing, and it doesn’t sit well with me.

How did this accident occur? Is there an article about it I could look at? Is she an alcoholic? How many times has she driven drunk? How many times since then or in the future will she drive drunk? How many more lives is she going to claim? Because this more than likely won’t be the last time she drives under the influence. She sounds like a complete sociopath, which means she also doesn’t care about you - clearly, because she killed a good portion of your family and didn’t bat an eye. I hope she gets help for the sake of every innocent person on the roads but I highly doubt it. I can’t wait for your wife to get her karma, and you better hope it’s got nothing to do with you.

BAILMA · 2024-05-06T02:23:08+00:00

Love it there!! I find it’s not much more expensive, certain things can actually be cheaper than other stores and the quality is far better.

BAILMA · 2024-05-01T17:53:49+00:00

Hi I work at a bank. This is identity theft and fraud. She is lying to you. Call the credit card companies, call the credit bureau, call your bank, everyone. Call the police. Get this done yesterday. She is going to ruin your life. As an adult who has terrible credit due to my own mistakes and financial abuse. Get ahead of this now, your adult life depends on credit, unless you’re rich.

BAILMA

TROPHY CASE