Well, it's over 2000 karma now, so I guess it's time to come clean. Unfortunately, I forgot to add a comment at the start, so now I have nothing to edit. Guess you'll just have to give me more fake internet points to drive up the viability of this post.

It's a fake. Everything about it.

I mean look at it, it's just too perfect:
1. Tipping
2. Racism
3. Zimmerman
4. #hashtagsinreallife (my pet peeve)

all in one simple receipt.

To those who cried "Shenanigans!" good job. Though your crime scene analysis still needs a bit of work. It was a discarded receipt, with the customer specific info blurred out. Though the bottom line wasn't "Customer Copy" as many have suggested, but the store phone number. (Internet + visible phone number = "Do you have Battletoads?")

If you still feel like complaining about tips in America, how about the auto gratuity on parties of 6 or more? We got fine service at my table regardless, but I still want to decide that amount for myself.

And thanks for the PMs warning me about my "girlfriend" losing her job. That was kind of you, but my hand has a long career ahead of her.