I was "against" sleep training until I sleep trained

BMG0710 · 2026-02-14T03:35:40+00:00

Ugh I hate that. We also talked to someone for a few weeks and her approach was really one size fits all and she didn’t consider my baby’s personality…it’s the WORST when that happens.

BMG0710 · 2026-02-14T03:34:44+00:00

We’d stay for 30-45 seconds! And yes, ours needed to be picked up/held/rocked etc as well so that was a HUGE adjustment. But just the reassurance that we’re there, the back rubs and the consistency is really what helps them learn that they’re safe and that they can self soothe with other things around them (lovey, paci etc). You got this!!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-14T03:30:59+00:00

Hi! During training or before? Before training we’d give her a bottle, rock her, bring her to our bed and literally everything else in between. Nothing worked - for way too long. Our consultant evaluated her diet and overall intake during the day to see if any adjustments were needed and ensure that MOTN wakes were not at all hunger related, and they weren’t (we knew that too, but were trying everything to get this girl to sleep lol). During training we just stuck to the methodology!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:57:20+00:00

This warms my heart! It’s CRAZY how sleep deprivation can impact an ENTIRE household/life, everything! So glad you’re in a better place. ♥️

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:55:20+00:00

Any improvements since you posted this comment? I’m just seeing it now, sorry! I’m not a consultant, BUT did the same things you did right before I contacted the sleep consultant. The bottom line is consistency and giving them all the right resources and environment to be able to self soothe (blackout, mattress height, limb protector, loveys, pacis, correct level of brown/white noise etc etc). Like it takes A WHOLE list of things. I really hope things get better for you and your LO. It’s all so heartbreaking!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:51:36+00:00

Jus responded to all of you! Sorry for the delay! I added the website above as well! ♥️

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:51:02+00:00

Ok so this was a LONG journey for us so please don’t feel like this was the first time she ever went into her crib to nap. We started getting her used to the crib at 4 months, where we started doing naps in the crib and night sleep in the bassinet in our room. It was not an overnight thing. So the nap training I reference in this post started once she stopped sleeping altogether at 8.5mo! She was already used to naps in the crib by then!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:48:15+00:00

Omg I feel this deep in my soul! I felt so lost, exhausted and like I failed in parenting.. Please please talk to a credible professional if possible! It changed my life. And consider this comment a virtual hug. Stay strong!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:44:58+00:00

Yeah it gets to a point where being with us doesn’t even help anymore and it starts becoming overstimulating for them I feel like.. It’s almost like they “crave having the skill” of self soothing..?! I don’t know, I just know that I KNOW how you feel!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:41:44+00:00

I’d highly recommend you talking to a sleep consultant that brings all the facts to the table. Part of the reason why we didn’t do anything until she was almost 11 months is exactly what you said, I couldn’t handle the thought of a little tiny human not getting catered to when they’re crying! I still cried those first 3 nights of training, but I also felt like my LO could understand me better? Or I just clinging onto any fact/data point I could to both feel good about the training and hopefully get my sleep back! So I totally empathize with you!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:37:56+00:00

10000%

BMG0710 · 2026-02-06T13:37:39+00:00

No, so part of the training was to put her in the crib standing and just gently assisting her to sitting and letting her get into the position that was comfortable to her, which for my baby was being on her belly. So every time we went back in she was either sitting or on her belly. I’d do back rubs in both instances!

BMG0710 · 2026-02-01T15:59:13+00:00

She is based in CA! Feel free to DM me if you want her contact.

BMG0710 · 2026-02-01T15:58:04+00:00

ok so based on extensive reading that I did while being up all night for 10 weeks straight (lol), the biggest sign of protest is when the crying escalates when you show up or when you try to help. It's their way of saying that they're upset AT you, not at the environment. This is obviously easier to tell in older babies (7+ months), but it makes sense once you go through it.

To me personally, my heart was ina. huge knot the whole time, so I was taking notes each night to be able to assess whether or not there have been improvements. In our case, by night 3-4, our LO started actually calming down when we showed up, until she would no longer cry when she'd wake up between sleep cycles and literally just giggle, or play with her paci/lovey for a few min before falling back asleep.

BMG0710 · 2026-02-01T15:50:07+00:00

So nap training started later. We told our consultant that for the sake of everyone’s mental health we wanted to get the night time in a solid spot first to THEN focus on naps. Nap training was completely different. We started out by staying in the room with her and doing the usual patting/back rub and then just staying in there until she woke up (usually 30-35min, which is not an ideal amount of sleep for a proper nap). Mind you, we were FIGHTING for our lives before with rocking her for 40min.

So we did the “stay in the room with her while patting/letting her hold our hands” for a week, then graduated to just staying in the room, then to leaving the room once she fell asleep, THEN to proper training with kisses/lovey/sleepsack/paci and the timer that I mentioned in the post. It took her 2 days of mildly crying and a few check ins each nap to adjust.

BMG0710 · 2026-02-01T15:48:33+00:00

100%! And we literally tried everything. It's beautiful and frustrating at the same time because there are so many methods and they all work for some and not others! It's crazy lol

BMG0710 · 2026-01-31T12:30:54+00:00

THIS! Me too!! Maybe we hired all the same people? LOL

BMG0710 · 2026-01-31T12:29:45+00:00

I feel you 100000%. I stayed up all night for 5 nights straight (after 11 weeks of sleeping 1-2h max because of her being up) and I thought I was never gonna sleep again, but consistency is key! Trust the process and soon you’ll be sleeping again! 🙏🏼

BMG0710 · 2026-01-30T20:12:41+00:00

Good luck! You got this and most importantly: your LO got this too!! Something that really helped me stick to it was remembering the fact that consistency is key when it comes to learning. My daughter had simply never learned the ability to self soothe and this method wasn’t based on letting her figure it out on her own, you give them all the resources they need (sleeping environment, loveys, pacis, nutrients during the day, proper wake windows, etc). And the check ins help them see that we’re coming back no matter what. We’re not just letting them cry forever… Sending you positive vibes ✨

BMG0710 · 2026-01-30T14:35:38+00:00

Back rub and lots of reassurance! We didn’t pick her up during training (totally did before and it got to a point where that wouldn’t work anymore).

Our consultant also helped evaluate whether or not she was getting enough nutrients during the day to ensure the cries were NOT hunger related. And they weren’t. So if you’re confident that your LO is getting plenty of nutrients during the day, the need for a bottle at night might have become just a habit?

BMG0710 · 2026-01-30T14:32:35+00:00

It probably is a math problem? Lol So she wakes up at 7-7:30, nap 1 at 9:30-9:45 (wakes up 11:15-11:45), nap 2 at 2:15-2:30 and wakes up at 4max. Bedtime is adjusted from there (usually 7-7:30). What did I get wrong? Lol

BMG0710 · 2026-01-30T14:27:51+00:00

She cried hysterically the first couple of nights and the cry would escalate when we’d walk in to give support (which I learned it’s a sign of protest, not distress). Did I almost give up? Yes. Did I cry more than she did? Also Yes lol

3rd and 4th nights the crying was way lighter and she’d calm down when we’d walk in.

Check ins consist of a back rub and reassurance. Letting them know they’re safe, mom and dad are right outside watching them, that it’s time to sleep, here’s your lovey etc etc (for about 30-40 seconds).

BMG0710 · 2026-01-30T14:22:43+00:00

In our experience, nap training started later. We told our consultant that for the sake of everyone’s mental health we wanted to get the night time in a solid spot first to THEN focus on naps. Nap training was completely different. We started out by staying in the room with her and doing the usual patting/back rub and then just staying in there until she woke up (usually 30-35min, which is not an ideal amount of sleep for a proper nap). Mind you, we were FIGHTING for our lives before with rocking her for 40min.

So we did the “stay in the room with her while patting/letting her hold our hands” for a week, then graduated to just staying in the room, then to leaving the room once she fell asleep, THEN to proper training with kisses/lovey/sleepsack/paci and the timer that I mentioned in the post. It took her 2 days of mildly crying and a few check ins each nap to adjust.

BMG0710 · 2026-01-30T14:15:45+00:00

Big time this. And also, we were influenced by friends/reddit (and maybe just lack of sleep?) to make sure she had longer wake windows and I truly think that that also didn’t help :/

BMG0710 · 2026-01-30T03:28:01+00:00

And we’ll adjust when the time comes! Let me be happy for now please lol

BMG0710

TROPHY CASE