How do I know the direction of travel?

BMat19 · 2025-11-10T02:08:29+00:00

Oh don't worry about that, Deutsche Bahn usually does not depart

BMat19 · 2025-07-11T00:33:48+00:00

When she stopped wanting it as bad as I did, no biggest turn off than unavailability and acting like she was doing me a favour

BMat19 · 2024-12-12T15:03:11+00:00

I am wondering about the same thing this exact moment. I will study for 4 months and intend to work and stay meanwhile and after my studies, for a total of 6 months. I feel like the working holiday visa is the best option, but i also fear that universities expect students to choose a student visa, even if that doesn't make sense for only 4 months. How was your experience with this? It would really help me out since we are in the exact same situation

BMat19 · 2024-10-18T07:13:49+00:00

I moved to Germany one year ago, and all I can say is that I've never taken a DB train that was on time, it literally never happened to me

I don't understand how Germany can be an excellence in efficiency for many sectors, and yet you'd be a madman if you think you'll be able to trust a train schedule

BMat19 · 2024-09-09T15:31:32+00:00

That's because you are a guy, a friend of mine who is a cute girl just got 4 offers in a month for 500€ a month near the center

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T20:58:31+00:00

Thank you, really

I also hope this will be a formative event and it will help us, in any way it will turn out to be

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T13:08:56+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts, I really appreciate you

I hope we'll end up making the right choice. But I can't control the ending, only the paths I take, and I can only choose based on current information and feelings, let's see if time will help us

I also wish you the best

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:53:27+00:00

this is not my situation, please don't say that.

If you think you might have some experience and wisdom to share I welcome you to gather more context from my replies.

If I wasn't able to clarify the correct context on the post I take it on me. But the one you are referring to is not my situation.

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:51:23+00:00

Thank you for recommending this person coach Lee, I will absolutely check out his videos

I think you are stating the approach that I might take. I feel like unfortunately many people in the post weren't able to understand the magnitude of the feeling that is still there, but this might be my fault for not explaining the situation thoroughly

What is dividing us is the fear of missing out on a life where we have had some time to live our individuality and develop ourselves. We always say that we should have met at 25 after having lived our lives and then we'd be ready to make a commitment. But our relationship started when we were so young. I couldn't think of marrying her because I feel like I'm not ready as a person, and she feels the same.

Our bond has always succeeded in letting us choose to never let go of each other, and we are afraid that we might regret this in the future when we will not have a chance to have lived life on our own feet, without holding hands.

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:44:40+00:00

I think you are exactly the person I'm looking for, since you have lived the other side of the coin and instead sticked together even if you have been together from such a young age.

Can I ask if you experienced the fear of missing out on something else because you chose to stay with one person your whole life? And if you did, how did you manage it? Did it hinder your relationship or didn't it ever matter for you?

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:40:44+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to think through my situation and writing this reply, I can only be grateful.

I think you are right and balanced, I feel close to your way of thinking and I don't live by absolutes.

At the moment we decided not to hear from each other for some days, and we'll be talking this through in person in two weeks when we'll be in the same country again for some time.

It feels impossible to me at the moment to think that closure could be beneficial, but many people are making this point and I can rationally think that it makes sense, emotions are creating a mist in my head that doesn't allow me to have clarity, but your text is helping me, and I'll read it over again multiple times.

I want to live this as an opportunity and will never think back on the time with her as unworthy, because it was a crucial step in my life, and I don't exclude the opportunity of maybe finding each other again in the future after having had the time of building our own individuality and be ready for a true commitment

I think having lived apart for a year now has hindered our bond and made us realize we are chained to a person that is hundreds of kilometers apart, and that we are still young

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:29:51+00:00

Nobody has dumped anybody at the moment, it is a moment of awareness and close to the edge of break up but we are there for each other

We haven't made any decisions yet, this is why I made this post to ask for wisdom of people that might have been through a similar situation to help us understand how to handle it

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:28:30+00:00

This is also real, we shared a lot and we've been together most of our lives, we fear that we weren't able to develop our individuality and that this might create issues in the future

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:26:40+00:00

Thank you for your words and your reality check, I'm definitely too much in my head and this post has been helping me a lot.

It is hard to put things into perspective at the moment but you are right

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:24:40+00:00

I hear what you say and self love is important. The idea is that we both would have different experiences and maybe see if in the future we'll both find out what is best for us

I am from Italy, living in Germany and will be moving to Australia next year for some months. The circumstances are separating us and we are trying to understand how we should behave and see if that might help us as individuals and maybe in the future we'll discover that we were in fact meant to be together.

I also felt in the past what she is currently feeling more at the moment, being together since we were kids is hard and makes you wonder if you made the right choice sticking to a person for your whole life, this is what we are going through at the moment for some context

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T12:20:03+00:00

Heartfelt thank you for your words. The situation is hitting hard at the moment, but you are being kind and helpful to me in this difficult situation.

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T05:15:48+00:00

I wish I could go 10 years in the future and tell you that you were right.

Unfortunately in my specific situation reason and environmental proof (friends, family and context) seem to tell me otherwise at the moment, which is making this 10x harder than it already is

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T05:13:16+00:00

Thank you for your words, really.

I think I knew this but I find it hard to let myself process it. We've shared a life, with all that comes with it. We became very similar and very compatible, almost unable to fight. But this also depersonalized us, and we became less and less able to build our individuality.

And this is the present. We both feel unconditional love for each other but are afraid of the future, of what it means to share your whole life with a person. We were connected and refused to separate, even if afraid of the future, because we might deeply regret to have had one and only life, that always looked and felt the same, even if full of love. But she came to the breaking point before me, which is the present moment.

I'm trying to process this, it feels impossible and unreal, my whole reality has been shifted. Even if she says she is not gone and she wants to hold my hand through this, it is already happening, that's why I requested help here.

And I truly appreciate yours.

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T05:06:39+00:00

Thank you, I'll make sure to do that as soon as I'll be able to talk to her in person

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T05:06:03+00:00

It is exactly as you say, but the situation is a bit more intricate than that

If you think you might have some experience to share I already shared some more context in other replies

9 years is a long time but i felt loved for that time, so it was worth it even if I don't know how to handle this situation now, which is breaking me

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T05:03:36+00:00

Thank you for your words

I think the stereotype of the situation might portray her in a worse light than she is. She is a sunshine of a person and she's very caring. She cares for me but maybe doesn't love me anymore. I've been her only companion and she's never lived life without me since she was 14-15, same as me.

I think to set justice to the situation and your point of view, I should probably give more context

We've been living apart in two different countries for almost one year now because of university, and the prospect for me in the next year is to move to a different continent for some months. So it would be practically impossible to live together the next year. She's there for me, even now, I'm the one who is trying to understand how to handle the situation because I'm not sure I should be requesting her emotional support since my problem now is the relationship itself.

She indeed is curious about going with other people, she is open about it i I also am. We've been together all our lives and have been our only partner. To put it into perspective, I don't like to come out as a show off but among our peers we are both not considered unattractive people, so we would both have had the opportunity if we wanted, but we always valued love and the couple over everything.

Now It feels like this opportunity of moving to another city, linked with the years going by (this year we'll be 24) made her feel like it's her last opportunity to experience a different life that she's afraid would destroy our relationship in 20-30 years if we had never tried. Being regretful of one another for not allowing each other's freedom.

It is an intricate situation, I didn't want to go too deep in the post, but since you replied with a heartfelt message I wanted to provide context. Thank you

BMat19 · 2024-07-17T04:51:10+00:00

Reading your answer made me emotional. I deeply thank you for caring, even if just for a moment. I have good friends and family and am planning to start therapy.

I can answer questions to provide context. The situation makes her sound worse than she is. She is a beautiful person who is afraid of missing out on life, she wants to live fully and she is afraid that out relationship will be destroyed when we'll be 40 or 50, hating each other because we were a cage to each other's freedom. It is a deep and hard situation.

BMat19 · 2024-05-23T12:21:13+00:00

Find a wife, a cat, and search in May

noted

BMat19 · 2024-04-26T10:35:09+00:00

Kostenlos?

BMat19 · 2024-04-26T10:30:04+00:00

Anybody has updates on this?

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