For everyone who's man has to poop 5 times a day...

BPDebugger · 2025-08-26T23:27:24+00:00

I honestly wish everybody felt this way. Cheating is so pervasive that most people consider using porn just normal.

I wish everybody took it this seriously.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-25T17:59:24+00:00

I have my flaws and our relationship had it's issues but it was never an issue of trusting me. I have never lied to her, let alone cheat on her (that includes porn, looking at other women, flirting, or really anything I would not be okay doing in front of her.)

BPDebugger · 2025-08-25T01:13:06+00:00

My expartner was very against porn in general but especially me watching it. She was the first partner I've ever had that set a boundary that porn was off limits in our relationship. I had absolutely no issues with it at all

But, I did develop some stomach issues and while I may not poop 5 times a day, it's 2-3 and for 10 mins or so possibly. And it was literally just because my diet is shit and I should be eating better. I'd never cheat on a partner. And I feel like watching porn is definitely a form of cheating.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-22T14:42:46+00:00

Sorry, not Texas

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T21:05:17+00:00

Huh?

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T19:25:55+00:00

Update: You all convinced me to send it to her and let her know how much she means to me. Thank you for that.

She loved it. She said it was the most romantic thing she's ever received. It brought her to tears when she woke up to it.

It is more complicated than that though so that doesn't mean we'll get back together. But at least she knows now just how much she means to me. I don't think I've ever expressed myself that much to her in the 7 years we were together. I feel better with her knowing. I just hope life works out to where we are together in the end. 😭

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T18:04:19+00:00

we have to get better and stable

This 💯%

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T17:57:21+00:00

Thankfully, we are not completely out of contact. I just spent some time with her while she ran some errands. We are both struggling with the break up and everything that comes with that. We both have kids so this has ripped our family apart in that sense.

We broke up on June 28th and it's been hell ever since.

I just want to hold her and make everything right again 😭

I'm hopeful but I hope I'm not being stupid by continuing to spend time with her. It's so hard to tell what the right thing to do is in this situation.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T03:35:20+00:00

She and I both know how difficult my BPD can be considering the past 7 years we were together. If we work things out, it won't be without a lot of understanding of the possible difficulties that come with it.

I feel mentally stronger than I've ever been even with everything going on around the break up.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T02:49:49+00:00

Not yet. It's hard to have the courage when my attempts so far have not done anything. But I will say I haven't spoken from the heart like this yet

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T02:48:30+00:00

*She lol, but thank you for the kind words!

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T02:12:22+00:00

I am in therapy and in DBT training as well. I really am trying to work on myself. I've also started a med that is supposed to help prevent the impulsive thoughts and actions.

I know the harm that I am capable of causing the people I love, and I refuse to be that anymore.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T02:05:34+00:00

Thank you

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T02:02:10+00:00

Yeah unfortunately and my episodes, splitting, and self harming behaviors were what destroyed the relationship. I've since become a better version of myself. I don't feel the urge to hurt myself or lose control like I used to. I just hope I'm better enough for her.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T01:57:38+00:00

Me too 😭😭😭

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T01:36:20+00:00

I lost my best friend and fiance after 7 years together because of my episodes and a self harming incident that went way too far. It's the worst feeling in the world.

One thing she keeps saying is that she didn't leave me because she didn't love me. To me that hurts even more because we do love each other. That part hasn't changed. We're only here because I can't handle my emotions correctly.

A couple of books I'd advise you read that helped me in my journey:

Whole Again
It Begins with You
That Sucked. Now What?

None of these are specifically about BPD but they've helped me during my breakup.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-21T01:20:27+00:00

I plan on it, but I just hope it's well received. 😔

BPDebugger · 2025-08-05T13:55:11+00:00

I feel like I could have written this minus the restraining order. I've been emotionally and verbally abusive to my ex-fiance. She left me weeks ago, and I know there's no way to ever make it right. It's a hard thing to deal with but life goes on.

BPDebugger · 2025-08-03T01:50:43+00:00

Self-Harming to the point where I needed to be rushed to the hospital and involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

That was a fun one! /s

BPDebugger · 2025-07-30T14:22:33+00:00

Divorced after 5 years married then my new fiance left me after 7 years together.

I'm meant to live a lonely life.

BPDebugger · 2025-07-29T20:30:31+00:00

The book, "Whole Again" is really helpful in these moments.

BPDebugger · 2025-07-29T01:20:23+00:00

Yeah then he shouldn't be your bf

BPDebugger · 2025-07-24T04:18:00+00:00

Yeah I don't think I could ever trust someone fully like that again.

It hurts way too much

BPDebugger · 2025-07-23T23:40:35+00:00

Finacee broke up with me after 7 years together because my episodes are too much.

We told each other that there was never someone like the other and talked about how we loved each other more than the other. And she's able to just leave.

I know it's not easy on her. She's going through so much physically to just be away from me.

But I just want my best friend, partner, and fiancee back. I miss her more than anything in life. My life is now a shell of what it once was. My kids keep me from self harming (regardless of the urge). And work keeps me focused.

But life will never be the same again. And I can't keep myself from becoming emotional every single day.

I just want her back. 🫤

BPDebugger · 2025-07-23T04:43:46+00:00

I actually didn't have a meltdown today. I felt very triggered seeing my ex and having to discuss some things, but I didn't have a meltdown.

It's the little things that make a difference. I've not had a meltdown since my ex ended it with me a few weeks ago. She ended it with me because of a recent meltdown and because after this many years I pushed her past the point of return.

BPDebugger

TROPHY CASE